Boyfriend attacks girlfriend with a cactus!?!

A 22-year-old man was charged for allegedly attacking his girlfriend with a cactus plant and biting her, leaving her "covered in blood," according to a criminal complaint.

"I thought I'd seen everything … but a cactus beating, jeez," said the County District Attorney. "I guess it's the thing that was closest at hand."

According to the complaint, the girlfriend said her boyfriend was upset over some phone calls he had made earlier in the evening but otherwise could not explain the attack. The girlfriend told police that her boyfriend attacked her with the cactus while she was doing dishes in the apartment they shared. The attack was unprovoked, she told police.
The woman had half-inch cactus thorns stuck in her neck, face and arms that medical staff had to remove with tweezers, the complaint said.

She also suffered a "very large" bite mark on her left forearm, a ruptured eardrum, a deep cut in her upper lip that required several stitches and bruises on her face and jaw, the complaint said.

"He was drinking, he got depressed … and he just lit off on her for some reason."

Police had to threaten to use pepper spray on the boyfriend before they could take him into custody, and he still was out of control at the police station. "He was yelling and screaming and kicking at the doors."

If convicted, the boyfriend faces nine years, three months in jail and fines of up to $11,000. The boyfriend has no previous convictions for violent offenses, but was cited twice for disorderly conduct in separate incidents in June. He is in the county jail on $10,000 cash bond and is due in court on Nov. 23 for a preliminary hearing. Click here to read the full article.

Uh… yeah… WTF? Are you kidding? A fu*kin cactus? I guess it could have been worse. And he bit her freakin’ arm too? What the heck was he doing? Turning into a vampire? This dude really does have some issues he needs to sit-down and work out.