Overheard on the streets of New York:
Drunk blonde: How old are you?
Drunk blonde: Ever been with a 26-year-old?
[Kid's father intervenes.]
-B. B. King's, Machine concert
Man: Have you ever heard a man call his penis a gonzo?
Girl: No, but my boyfriend used to call his the Cookie Monster.
Man: Well, by the way you smell you should start calling your cooch Oscar the Grouch
Middle-aged woman: Tradition brings us all together and makes us feel close.
Twentysomething woman: That's not the tradition; it's the Jack Daniels.
-M60 bus, Triboro Bridge