Overheard on the streets of New York:

Coworker #1: So what've you been up to?
Coworker #2: The usual. Just whacked off.
Coworker #1: Dude, you're on speakerphone.
-Office, Midtown

Woman #1: I don't know how I'm gonna get Bernie to go down on me. I've even tried waxing.
Woman #2: Maybe you can tattoo a little Yankees logo down there. Woman #1: Are you kidding? It would be a holy object. He would kneel and make burnt offerings.
Woman #2: At least he would be kneeling. That's a start.
-Williamsburg

Small child, trying a Sprite: I don't like it.
Dad: If you don't like the taste, just spit it out.
Mom: I've heard that one before.
-33rd & 7th

Guy #1: I'd totally hit that.
Guy #2: Dude, I'd hit that so hard whoever could pull me out would become the King of England.
-College Walk, Columbia University

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