Overheard on the streets of New York:

Girl #1: So, how was it at his house?
Girl #2: It was fine until he kept...
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: Well, he kept begging me to try it, and I was like, 'Listen, I'll do any other kinky thing you want, but I think that is just gross!' And then he went and got the garden hose anyway...
-Victoria's Secret, Herald Square

Teen girl #1: So, we were totally on his couch and we were totally making out. It was totally romantic.
Teen girl #2: How is making out on his couch romantic?
Teen girl #1: You're just jealous that you have no romance in your life.
Teen girl #2: Don't mistake romance for being a slut.
-A train

Girl #1: ... And then I kicked him in the nuts. And, like, I drew blood.
Girl #2: Oh my god...
Girl #1: I know, right? So, I go to bed, and while I'm sleeping he writes 'Best friends' on my door... in blood.
-Barcade, Williamsburg

Girl: It's not that I'm not attracted to you, it's just that I'm not as into sex as you are.
Guy: That's bullshit -- you're only 22 and you've fucked 24 people. You are definitely into sex.
Children from school bus directly next to the couple, all leaning out the window: Seeex!
-Irving & Eldert, Bushwick

Patient camp counselor: Instead of punching Timmy* next time, can you think of a better solution to your problem?
Sullen six-year-old: Yes. Next time I'm going to rip all his hairs out.
Patient camp counselor: Assuming that ripping hair out is camp-inappropriate, what's something else you could do?
Sullen six-year-old: Fine, then. I'll rip out his eyeballs and piss on his face.
-Central Park

College kid #1: So, dude, are you going to do it?
College kid #2: No! I am not going to have sex with my sister! [People waiting in line turn around to look] Awww, fuck.
-Starbucks

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