Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Overheard on the streets of New York:

20-something girl #1: Why do they call it 'Smart Water'?
20-something girl #2: Because it has electrolytes.
20-something girl #1: But does it make you smarter?
20-something girl #2: No! Does drinking Dr. Pepper make you a doctor? I don't think so!
-6 train

Mother, scolding: And this is the same little boy who took out his penis in a nice restaurant.
Little boy: It was a wonderful restaurant!
-Garfield Pl, Park Slope

Professor: If any of you are sad about Anna Nicole, see me after class. I'll give you a bitch slap.

(A stray kitten wanders up to a little girl who bends down to pet it.)
Mom: Come on, sweetie, it's time to cross the street.
Little girl, dismayed: But I'm petting the kitty.
Mom: Honey, we need to go. Say bye-bye, now.
Little girl: Goddammit, mommy, I'm petting the kitty!
-17th & 6th

Four-year-old boy to nanny: I talk to strangers! I talk to strangers! Why are you squeezing my hand so hard?!
-60th & Lex

Mother: Honey, what is wrong with your eyes?
Teen daughter: I am stoned.
Mother: You look like you have allergies.
Teen daughter: I am stoned.
Mother: Maybe it's pink eye.
-Central Park

Dude: So, how's Chin Chin doing?
Girl: Oh, pretty good. She just got over that whole vaginal discharge thing. [Awkward silence.]
Dude, to another girl: Chin Chin is her dog, by the way.
-NYU dorm elevator



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