Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Overheard on the streets of New York:

Dad: What's wrong, sweetie?
Two-year-old child model tugging at shirt on set and grimacing: Daddy, I just poopied my diaper.
Dad: I appreciate your honesty.
-Photoshoot, Midtown

Chick: I'm kinda concerned about this lotion I started using. It contains semen.
Dude: Ew... But so what?
Chick: Well, I think that it could make me pregnant. Like, the sperm could seep through my pores and then swim through my blood...
Dude: But your pores don't have fallopian tubes...
Chick: But what if? I bet if I got pregnant, it would be, like, the devil's baby.
Dude: Yeah, and you probably can't abort the devil's baby.
-116th & Broadway

Teen girl #1: Jason called me today and asked me if I was in Bay Ridge.
Teen girl #2: How would he know you were there? Is he stalking you or something?
Teen girl #1: God, I hope so.
-Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn

Teen girl #1: I'm not even giving a fuck. If I was giving a fuck, I'd tell him I give a fuck, but I'm not giving a fuck, so I'm telling you I'm not giving a fuck.
Teen girl #2: Okay, okay, just shut up.
-14th & 6th

Chipper student: She's a druggie, so she had all sorts of drug memorabilia.
Professor: You mean paraphernalia?
Chipper student: Yeah.
-Pace University

Woman buying bagel: Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. I guess you're not sleeping with my roommate anymore.
Bagel cashier: Hey! How have you been?
-Flatbush Ave

Toddler, pointing out window: Bitch!
Grandmother: Bridge. It's a bridge.
Toddler: Bitch!
-F train

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