Monday, August 20, 2007

Overheard on the streets of New York:

College guy #1: So I was hooking up with her--
College guy #2: --Dude, she's kinda...
College guy #1: She's not that fat! She's average! I mean, she doesn't outweigh me or anything.
College guy #2: Dude, if you have to convince yourself that she's not fat, she's too fat.
-American Eagle, Union Square

Lady: Stop it!
Rambunctious toddler: You shouldn't even be on this train!
Lady: Why?
Rambunctious toddler: Because I'll poop in your hair!
Lady: Poop in my hair? I'll poop in your mouth!
-N train, Queensboro Plaza

Girl #1: I am not a slut! You're the slut in this friendship! We agreed on this!
Girl #2: Okay, fine, you're not a slut... But you were straddling him.
-E train

Chick #1: So, just out of curiosity, this new girl he's seeing -- is she she cute?
Chick #2: She's okay, but I think she sort of looks like a Muppet.
Chick #1: Really? Well, that can go either way... She can be an ugly Muppet or a cute Muppet.
-Tribeca

Dude: Who would win in a fight, Pinhead or Predator?
Chick: Definitely Predator.
Dude: But wait -- is pinhead real?
-Brooklyn

Drunk chick: Oh my god! Is AOL 'America online'?
Friend: Ummm, yes.
Drunk chick: Holy crap!
Friend: What did you think it was?
Drunk chick: Who the fuck are you? And why do you want to sell me something, you dirty sloot?
Friend: I'm your friend, and you're drunk.
Drunk chick: I am as sober as a cow.
Friend: What the hell?
Drunk chick: What does AOL stand for?
-Grand Central

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