Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Overheard on the streets of New York:

20-something girl: They didn't have tampons, so I got Smirnoff Ice.
--Lincoln Place & Bedford Ave

White mom: Which kitty is your favorite?
Little girl holding book of baby animals: The black one!
Mom: The black one? He sure is a cute kitty.
Little girl, loudly: Once you go black, you never go back!
Passing thug, flashing her a thumbs-up: Word!
White mom: I don't care what your father says, we are so moving to Westchester.
--Commodore Barry Park, Fort Greene, Brooklyn

Girl: I'll have a dozen bagels.
Bagel guy: I can't pass up on this opportunity. I have to tell you that you're really cute.
Girl: [Blushes.]
Bagel guy: Do you know what the difference between cute and not cute is?
Girl: ... Nooo, what?
Bagel guy: Three bagels. [Hands girl 15 bagels.]
--Jumbo Bagels, 57th & 2nd

Giggling girl, being examined by friends: What? What?!
Friend: I don't even want to tell you what that is in your hair.
Giggling girl, hopeful: Is it semen?
--Morningside Heights

Cafeteria lady: So, you been good this weekend?
Frat boy: No! Me and my girlfriend got totally shit-faced!
Cafeteria lady: 'My girlfriend and I.'
Frat boy: What?
Cafeteria lady: 'My girlfriend and I got totally shit-faced.'
Frat boy: Whoa! You have a girlfriend?! Hardcore!
--NYU

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