Wednesday, January 11, 2006

I can't decide if this is sexy or just plain weird

Dad gets stuck in washing machine...?

Wedged in his sister's washing machine with his knees pressed tight to his chest, Robin Toom, 30, was stuck and hot.

"I just hopped in there, playing hide and go seek with the kids," the baker's assistant said yesterday from Townsville.

"I got in there and couldn't even get the lid down and the kids came in and said 'ha ha we found you'."

With his wife, sister, brother-in-law and the kids crammed in the bathroom around the machine, embarrassment turned to perspiration.

Local fire officer Dave Dillon was on duty at 4:55pm on Sunday when the call came that "a man was stuck in a washing machine".

"We thought we'd get there and he'd have his hand stuck," Mr. Dillon said. "He was in an absolute lather of sweat when we got there. He was really well attached to it."

To his sister's relief, dismantling the machine was ruled a last option because Mr. Toom would have still been in the tub, which would then have to be cut open.

Mr. Dillon used direct action, reaching into the machine and dislodged Mr. Toom's foot from where it had been stuck for an hour. Article here.

Drunk student shot by accident

An intoxicated man who was shot to death last week in an apartment mistook a neighbor's unit for his own and broke in when his key wouldn't work, authorities said.

Hector Soto, 21, had recently moved to the apartment complex and had been out celebrating his upcoming graduation.

Soto was "fairly well intoxicated" when his friends drove him home early Friday. All the buildings in the complex look the same, he said.
Soto got into the wrong apartment through an open front window and headed to the bathroom, where he encountered the resident, a 65-year-old state prison counselor.

They scuffled and the resident, thinking Soto was an intruder, shot him once. The shooter will not be charged.

"It's tragic. A real mess," he said. "I don't believe Soto intended to hurt anybody."

Whoa… this is pretty messed up sh*t.

Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey sell their house

Former couple Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey are selling their famous "Newlyweds" home.

The Mediterranean-style house includes a screening room, music studio and infinity pool. People magazine reported that it is being listed for $3.75 million.

Singer-actress Simpson filed for divorce last month from former "98 Degrees" star Lachey.


The house was bought by "Malcolm in the Middle" teen actor Justin Berfield.

In other news... it is reported that nobody cares. Also, Jessica Simpson has been voted as best dumb-blonde-woman-eye-candy-stupid-face of 2005. Congrad-u-f*ckin-lations Jessica, you earned it.

Dude, tearing apart a phone book isn't that hard

So you think that tearing a phone book apart is hard? It’s not. Here is how you do it:

First, grab the top of your book and keep your hands as far apart as possible while still having all your fingers on it. Tightly grip the book with the pinky and ring finger… click here to read on how to tear a phone book.

Camera captures a guy's 'cash and prizes'

Wife uses 2 x 4 to save husband from wild bear

A man escaped serious injury when a bear tackled him in the front yard of his home.

The bear was still big enough to pin him down and wouldn't let go until his wife repeatedly hit the bear with a two-by-four.

Amazingly, Watkins came out of the wrestling match with a only a bruise on his stomach and minor scratches.

"He knocked the air out of me and knocked me backwards. I couldn't breathe," he said. "Thank God he didn't hurt me as bad as I thought I was going to get hurt."

The Health Department wants the man to have a medical checkup just in case the bear has rabies. Fish and Game officials said they had no plans to trap the bear.

Dude, what a kick-ass story for his wife to brag about. I mean, honestly she has leverage to say whenever she wants, like: "I saved your life- hell I took outa bear on my own to protect you. Now take out the trash." Article here.

Micha Barton Needs A Tampon... EWWW!!!

"These pictures are from over the weekend when Micha Barton experienced one of the most unfortunate events ever. I'm not a female, nor do I know what it's like to have blood stained strategically in that area on your pants, but I think Mischa is on the rag.

...I had to go to the bathroom and vomit up my breakfast.

Now that thing is, this stain really could be anything. She could have shot heroin into a vein in her upper thigh. She could have spilt some ketchup on her pants that looks just like blood."

Kids and the bus stop beatdown? WTF?

This 16-year-old-kid gets jumped by a 'mass' of kids at a bus stop. This is so wrong on so many levels. Damn kids these days...

Hey guyz, check out our cute outfitz!

iPods and Hearing Loss...

"As use of portable MP3 music players soars, concerns are emerging that the gadgets may contribute to hearing damage. Some doctors say they are seeing younger and younger patients with signs of noise-induced hearing loss that wouldn't typically emerge before middle age. And they are worried that the constant use of MP3 players, which blare music directly into the ears, may be partly to blame." Click to read the full article.

Like kids in a candy store...

Secret handshake reveals Principal's life of lies

A charter-school principal in Cleveland has resigned, after failing to recognize a secret fraternity handshake.

That's what tipped off the head of the school's advisory board that the principal might have lied about his background.

The advisory board leader, Tim Goler, had been a member of the Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity.

The principal -- Lewis Thomas -- claimed to have been a member as well. But when Goler offered Thomas the fraternity's secret handshake, Thomas didn't recognize it.

Goler said it turns out that much of Thomas' resume was false.
Thomas denied that. He said he resigned for personal reasons.

Dude, it's not cool to lie about being in a fraternity. Whatta dick. You have to earn your place in brotherhood (meaning after lots of hazing :) . Article here.

Caption this...

2005 Celebrity Quotes of the Year

“George Bush doesn’t care about black people.”
-Kanye West

“You wanna know how I know you’re gay? You like Coldplay”
-(Paul Rudd in The 40-year-old-Virgin)

“I want to go to Egypt and Japan and open orphanages. A chain of them.”
-Lindsay Lohan

“I’d like to be governor one day.”
-Courtney Love

“In the future, my private life will be expressed solely through art.”
-Britney Spears

[taken from Blender Jan/Feb]

Missouri jokes never get old...

Marge: Grandpa, this flag only has 49 stars on it

Grandpa: I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah!