Thursday, November 16, 2006

Fake or not, this is intimidating

KFC brings back 'Fried' into its advertising

The word "fried" is slated to return to prominence after a decade plus year old hiatus from the advertising scheme of the fast-food-chicken giant Kentucky Fried Chicken, citing shifting public attention as cause, according to KFC spokesman, Billy Ray Cider.
"We dropped the word 'fried' in Kentucky Fried Chicken advertising over a decade ago due to agitated public perception and heightened health consciousness. Now that the public is more concerned about getting blown up by Islamic terrorists, or baked alive by global warming, we decided it was a peachy time to reinstall the word 'fried' back into our chicken nomenclature, because frankly, when people feel threatened, as they are today, they crave indulgent, fatty foods."

Pimp my pet?

George Clooney, Sexiest Man Alive for 2006

87 year old George Clooney has been named People's Sexiest Man Alive for 2006, which ties him with Brad Pitt for the only men to win this award twice.
Clooney told People: "Brad Pitt's going to be upset.There's a lot of pressure, There are all the events you have to show up for. The sash you have to wear … is embarrassing." Source.

go cry, emo kid

"Wedding Crashers" inspired Visine prank

The five high school boys recalled how a "Wedding Crashers" Visine gag led to sudden digestive distress and decided to see if it would play out like that in real life. They poured "like a quarter of the bottle" of eyedrops into a classmate's water and he drank it."

We all intended a little stupid joke, but we never intended to send him to the hospital," says one of the boys who appeared in court this week.

One classmate sitting nearby had gotten up to go get a cookie, leaving his bottle of Propel Fitness Water untended. It was passed across the table to Ryback. The other boy then got back and was goaded into a chugging contest.

Two classes later, he was woozy and headed for the school's health room when someone tipped him off that Visine had been planted in his drink. He was sent to Children's Hospital of Wisconsin, where it would take several days and intensive-care treatment for him to recover from poisoning reactions that included dangerously low heart rate and blood pressure.

A doctor said the student could have died if he hadn't gotten medical treatment, and his mother told a prosecutor that the boy had required a defibrillator while at the hospital. He didn't attend Tuesday's hearing.
Read the full article here.

She's fat, I'm drunk -- it's on.

Kevin Federline is running out of money

Now that Britney Spears has stopped K-fed's spending, the low rent rapper is broke. Even before the split was announced, Spears cut off his cell phone and his own mother couldn't even get a hold of him. Federline is now trying to slow down his spending.
Recently he was at a club, and an eyewitness claimed: "He just kept ordering more and more food and then asked for it to be put in containers so he could take the food out to the clubs with him. Then he started putting napkins in the tops of the tequila and vodka bottles and stuck them under his coat trying to sneak the liquor out with him. It was really unbelievable to watch. The guy obviously has enough money to buy a bottle of liquor on his own without trying to sneak it under his coat. Well, maybe not anymore." Source.

OJ Simpson: "If I did it, here's how it happened"

Fox said Tuesday it will air a two-part interview with O.J. Simpson at month's end in which he describes the 1994 murders of his ex-wife and her friend that he says he didn't commit.

The interview will be conducted by editor and book publisher Judith Regan. On November 30, her Regan Books is publishing a book Simpson wrote with the working title "If I Did It, Here's How It Happened."

Fox said Simpson's book "hypothetically describes" how he would have committed the murders. The special will air at 9 p.m. November 27 and 29 on Fox.

Fox executives declined comment about the show Tuesday. In a statement released Tuesday, executive vp/alternative programming Mike Darnell said: "This is an interview that no one thought would ever happen. It's the definitive last chapter in the trial of the century."

Simpson was acquitted in 1995 of the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman; he can't be tried again for those crimes. In 1997, a civil court found him responsible for the slayings and ordered him to pay $33.5 million to the victims' families. Article here.

Not the smartest burglar...

Candidate gets no votes, but he voted for himself?

Randy Wooten figured he would get at least one vote in his bid for mayor of this town of 80 people -- even if it was just his own. He did not. Now he has to decide whether to file a formal protest.

Wooten got the news from his wife, Roxanne, who went to City Hall on Wednesday to see the election results. "She saw my name with zero votes by it. She came home and asked me if I had voted for myself or not. I told her I did," said Wooten, owner of a local bar.

However, Poinsett County results reported Wednesday showed incumbent William H. Wood with 18 votes, challenger Ronnie Chatman with 18 votes and Wooten with zero.

"I had at least eight or nine people who said they voted for me, so something is wrong with this picture," Wooten said.

Poinsett County Election Commissioner Junaway Payne said the issue had been discussed but no action taken yet. "It's our understanding from talking with the secretary of state's office that a court order would have to be obtained in order to open the machine and check the totals," Payne said. "The votes were cast on an electronic voting machine, but paper ballots were available."

A November 28 runoff is scheduled to decide the mayor's race. "It's just very hard to understand," Wooten said. Article here.

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Teacher cheats to elect niece Homecoming queen

A veteran High School teacher with a long history of work troubles had falsified hundreds of student ballots in an attempt to get her niece elected homecoming queen in September.

A wave of chuckles rose during Tuesday's School Board meeting, where Lerner and other board members were asked to approve a 25-day unpaid suspension for the teacher, Sharion Thurman, 56.

"This is not a gray area; this is cheating," Lerner said. "It's so ridiculous, it's so outrageous that all you can do is uncomfortably laugh at it," said board member Mary Russell, normally one to give a teacher the benefit of the doubt.

Thurman will lose more than $7,000 in pay. Had she lied about an academic issue, he said, she would have been fired. Article here.