Friday, February 10, 2006

Paris Hilton has a bird brain shaped head...

[via JustJared]

ASU student masturbates in college library?

An 18-year-old male ASU student was arrested Sunday night at Hayden Library and charged with indecent exposure and public sexual indecency. The suspect allegedly pulled his pants and underwear to his mid-thighs to masturbate while watching pornography on his laptop. When asked why he had gone to the library to view pornography and masturbate, the suspect allegedly told police, "To be honest, the Internet connection at my dorm isn't good enough."

Police impounded a BB pistol and approximately 10,000 rounds of BBs from a room in Manzanita Hall early Wednesday morning. The suspected owner of the BB pistol is an 18-year-old male ASU student.

The suspect was not arrested, but was referred to Residential Life. Source here.

Overheard on the streets of New York:

Chick #1: The ceremony is so long. They should just throw the diplomas off the stage into the audience.
Chick #2: Yeah, and if you don't catch one, sorry, you don't graduate.
Chick #1: So then the football team will actually graduate.
Chick #2: The receivers, anyway.

-Fordham

Girl #1: There are like, so many orthodox Jews at the law school. Why would they come to a Jesuit school if they're orthodox Jews?
Girl #2: Well, it's not like everyone else is Catholic.
Girl #1: But Jews are like the opposite of Catholics, they're, like, not even close.
Girl #2: You're a slut; that's not very Catholic.

-Fordham University, Lincoln Center

[via OHINY]

Different cultures, mutual similarities =Maxim?

16-year-old driver crashed into a Subway!

A 16-year-old driver crashed into a Subway sandwich shop in Arvada this morning, shortly before the shop would have been filled with high school students on their lunch break.

Amanda Lewis, a Ralston Valley High School student, told police her foot slipped off the brake pedal and onto the gas pedal while she was parking her 2002 Volkswagen Jetta. Her car jumped the curb, crashed through the shop's windows and ended up about 26 feet inside.

Three workers were inside at the time, just before 11 a.m. No one was injured. Arvada police gave Lewis a summons for careless driving.

This could have been worse. A lot worse. Article here.

Man Says Jesus Appeared In His Pancake

A Beachwood man has found religion in his pancakes, Cleveland television station WEWS reported.

Mike Thompson was making pancakes last weekend for his family when the pattern on one of the flapjacks caught his eye.

Upon closer inspection, he saw what he thought was the face of Jesus. He showed his wife, and she agreed.

That's when the couple decided to do what anyone who discovers such an edible artifact does these days -- they put it up for sale on eBay.

"I think the grilled cheese sandwich sold for $28,000, and the pierogi sold for a couple of thousand, so I figured start it off on eBay for $500. It's a pretty good deal," Thompson said.

He is hoping it sells like hotcakes, but so far there have been no opening bids. Article here.

IT'S ALL SO OVIBUOS

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uninervtisy,it deosn't mttaerin waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olnyiprmoetnt tihng istaht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pelae.The rset can be atoatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthitporbelm. Tihs is becuseaewe do not raed ervey ltetr by istlef but the wrod asa wlohe.

"The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives."

- Tony Robbins

This picture has to be confusing for this cat

U2 sucks, and they don't deserve a Grammy

So I was reading a blog today called Darkhat, and he was recapping the Grammy Awards this year:

“U2 picked up a leading five Grammy awards including album of the year for How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb. U2 also won song of the year, best rock performance, and best rock album. Yah, it's all politics nowadays. I think you can tell I hate U2, which is why they are the only artist not pictured in this post…”

Finally a guy who agrees with me- U2 sucks. They suck donkey-d*ck. No really, they do. Here is my ‘two cents’ from a previous post back in December of 2005:

For the category ‘Song of the Year,’ the rock band U2 was nominated for “Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own.” WTF? Why the heck was this song nominated? During 2005 this song reached #15 on the Adult Top 40 chart and #29 on the Modern Rock Tracks chart in April 2005. It also reached #97 on the Hot 100.

Hardly impressive statistics for a song that the academy is considering to be worthy of ‘Song of the Year’. They are also being nominated for ‘Album of the Year’ as well. Which doesn’t at all lead me into my next point but I’ll continue anyways.

U2 sucks. In their early years they had their glory days, but even then their music sucked. Yes I’m probably a huge minority compared to the majority of people who actually like U2- but I really feel the public is just ‘misguided.’ Hasn’t anyone noticed that every song sounds the same? EVERY song is HUGE and drawn out, in a ‘monster cathedral-like rendition, and which the same guitar cords are recycled from their old songs… don't forget Bono screaming and splattering the same “Oooohs” all over the songs chorus with tons of unneeded reberb/echo. Boring, boring, boring, awful, awful, awful. I can’t even change the radio station or my iPod fast enough before I want to vomit in my mouth. On top of all that, the entire band is extremely pretentious as well.

Hopefully I’m not skirting around how I truly feel about U2. I’m just trying to tell it straight. Here’s someone that agrees with me. Help us all if they win a Grammy this year. We’ll all know for a fact that the Grammy’s is politically influenced if these guys win anything this year.

Buy the a time circuit from Back to the Future

You can buy a custom made time circuits featured in the DeLorean Time Machine from Back to the Future on eBay. This casing is made from aluminium and is designed to fit over your DeLorean dash covering the air vents and radio. It's easy to take in and out of the car so you don't need to keep the time circuits in all the time.

The Time Circuits are fully operational. That means that the time and date on each row can be set by the keypad. Unfortunately, you will need a working DeLorean time machine and 1.21 GigaWatts of power in order to actually travel through time. Good luck in bidding on this item, its currently going for $1250+.

How freakin’ awesome is this. So to re-cap, all I need to get after I bid on this time circuit is:

1.) 1.21 GigaWatts
2.) A flux capacitor

3.) A Delorean

Once I have those 3 simple things, I should be set! Time travel here I come! Click here to see the actual eBay auction listing.

Woman mails explosive condoms strip clubs

A former strip club waitress mailed condoms filled with a potentially explosive mixture to a television station, strip clubs and other places, saying she was tired of being mistreated by men, according to court documents.

In FBI documents unsealed in Boston, Kimberly Lynn Dasilva, 40, said she "couldn't take it anymore."

None of the condoms exploded. They each contained a mixture of drain-cleaning detergent and gasoline, which could explode when combined, authorities said. Dasilva told investigators she did not think they would explode.

On Sept. 21, a suspicious package arrived at the Bridgewater State College admissions office, according to two FBI affidavits. When it was discovered that fluid had leaked from the package, the building was evacuated and the State Police Bomb Squad was called in. A note inside the package said "Boom."

Five more packages containing condoms filled with Drano and gasoline were found the next day at the Brockton postal annex, according to the FBI affidavits. They were addressed to Boston television station WFXT, Boston radio station WXKS-FM, the Outlaws motorcycle club in Taunton, and two strip clubs Alex's in Stoughton and The Foxy Lady in Brockton.

Dasilva, a single mother of two teenagers who used to work at Alex's and The Foxy Lady, was arrested Friday night after FBI agents and state police troopers raided her home and found letters hidden in the ceiling tiles of her bedroom that allegedly linked her to the mailings. A judge released her on a $10,000 unsecured bond and scheduled a hearing in the case for Feb. 23.

Crazy-ass-ho! Article here.

The mad/calm guy illusion

Sitting up close, the guy on the left is mad and the one on the right is calm. Step back a few feet and they switch faces. The one on the left will be calm and the one on the right will be mad. Note: you really have to get up and walk back a few feet. No really, get your lazy ass up if you want to see this illusion.

Buy the naming rights to library in Pennsylvania

So a library located Womelsdorf, Pennsylvania is auctioning their new library name rights on eBay. What does that mean? If you win the auction, you get to name the library.

“Womelsdorf Community Library Board of Trustees, need to raise money to expand our library. The library serves a growing municipality, with a present population of approximately 2,600. When all construction is complete, your name; i.e. business, foundation or person(s) would appear above the library front entrance. Inappropriate name requests will not be accepted.”



You’d think the bidding price for naming this library, being located in such a small populated area, wouldn’t be that steep. Think again. Currently this is listed on eBay for $325,000. Click here to see the actual eBay listing.

Hong Kong... day-to-night

First-grader suspended for sexual harassment

A 6-year-old boy was suspended for three days for sexual harassment after he put two fingers inside a classmate's waistband, school officials told his mother, Berthena Dorinvil.

The boy told her he only touched the girl's shirt after the girl touched him. Experts say only in rare, troubling cases can children that young truly sexually harass one another.

"The connotation is you're getting some kind of sexual gratification, or wanting sexual gratification, or are putting pressure on for some kind of sexual gratification, when a 6-year-old doesn't have that capacity," said E. Christopher Murray, a civil rights attorney who has handled school discipline cases. Dr. Elizabeth Berger, a Philadelphia-area child psychiatrist, said this case seems to be an overzealous attempt to ensure students feel safe in school after years in which society was not attentive enough.

The boy's mother called the Jan. 30 suspension from Downey Elementary School outrageous. She said she can't even explain to her son what he did wrong because he's too young to understand.

Brockton school officials have not commented beyond a statement from Superintendent Basan Nembirkow that said sexual harassment charges are always investigated and officials are trained to deal with them. The Brockton School Committee defines sexual harassment among students, in part, as "uninvited physical contact such as touching, hugging, patting or pinching."

First-graders who repeatedly touch classmates need to be disciplined and taught what's appropriate, said Nan Stein, a senior research scientist at the Center for Research on Women at Wellesley College. But don't call the apparent discipline problem "sexual harassment" because first-graders just don't get it, she said.

Yeah, not sure if this was the most appropriate ‘corrective’ action taken to discipline a 6 year-old. Article here.