Monday, February 06, 2006

Genius or moron?

Naked man jumping on hood of moving car

Authorities had no trouble locating the suspect after getting a call about a pedestrian attacking two moving cars. He was the one with no clothes.

The Shawano County Sheriff's Department received a complaint Thursday morning after a woman driving on the Wittenberg-Birnamwood Townline Road encountered a naked man walking in the road.

As she drove around him, he charged the vehicle, hit the right fender and jumped on the hood, smashing the windshield and breaking off the passenger-side mirror, authorities said.

He slid off and was lying on the road but got up and charged a second vehicle as it approached, damaging its fender.

He then opened the door, climbed in the vehicle and sat down, authorities said. Wittenberg Ambulance personnel got to the scene ahead of sheriff's deputies and had no trouble with the man, sheriff's Sgt. Staber Cook said.

The 42-year-old man, whose name was not released, was taken in for medical treatment, Cook said. The motorists were not injured. Article here.

The Beer Popsicle... awesome!

Alleged burglar gets stuck in oven vent


An alleged burglar was rescued Thursday after he got stuck overnight in the oven vent of the convenience store he was trying to rob, the fire department said.

Investigators said Lonnie Shields, 37, climbed into a small vent on the roof of the New City Mart at about 2 a.m. and wasn't found until store employees arrived at about 8 a.m.

Shields, who faces charges of burglary of a structure, was treated at a nearby hospital and booked into Orange County Jail on $1,000 bond.

"He was banged up and crunched up and uncomfortable from being in that pipe for about six hours," Orlando fire chief Greg Hoggatt said. Article here.

The ultimate tailgate and outdoor kitchen...

"It may look like a toolbox when its in the back of your truck, but roll the unit to the tailgate and it opens up into a complete functioning kitchen.


The Cook's BBQ Kitchen™ was specifically designed for you to enjoy all the modern conveniences for food preparation, stove top cooking, barbecuing & grilling, even micro-waving and it’s easy for clean-up with the built in sink, plus it has plenty of storage -- all in a self-contained unit that can be easily transported to any outdoor location where food and fun are on the agenda."

...and guess how much this will set you back? Only a cool $4,000! But just think- you’ll be the envy of every guy at the tailgate. That’s priceless. Click here to find out more information/or buy one.

Lego-my-beer!

Dog hanging from leash caught in elevator?

There was a close call for a 12-year-old dog after her leash was caught in an elevator door over the weekend.

Barbara Abernethy and her shih tzu, Missy, took the elevator Saturday down to the first floor to head outside for a walk. But Missy darted from the elevator. The doors closed with Abernethy still inside, holding one end of an extended leash that acted like a noose for Missy.

"And she ran out, and before I could get out, someone on the third floor pushed the button and I went back up," Abernethy said. The elevator quickly rose to the third floor, hauling Missy to the top of the first-floor elevator door.

That was the moment Janice Morgan walked in and saw what looked like a stuffed animal dangling from the elevator door. Morgan quickly summoned first-floor resident Mary Lou Marten. "As I was leaving, I saw this precious dog, and I said, 'Mary Lou, come!'" Morgan said.



"It looked like a wet rag. It's tongue was out, eyes were glassy," Marten said. "There was no sign of life," Morgan said. The two women freed the limp dog and Marten performed mouth-to-snout resuscitation until Missy started breathing again.

"She unhooked the leash, and I got her in my arms, put my mouth over her mouth and nose," Marten said. While Marten was performing CPR, Missy's owner was still in the elevator. "I was trying to talk to her, tell her I was coming and I'd be right there," Abernethy said.

"I could hear her out there squeaking, and then I didn't hear anything, so that frightened me." "I was praying inside; Janice was praying out loud," Marten said. "I just said, 'Lord, heal this little dog. She's so precious,'" Morgan said. "I came running downstairs, and by this time, they had her on the counter," Abernethy said.

While on the counter at Abernethy's independent living community, Missy made a comeback and started to breathe again. "It was awesome," Morgan said. Abernethy was grateful to the women who found her dog and to the woman who breathed life into her.

"I just can't imagine. I don't know whether I'd have the guts to do that or not," Abernethy said. Marten said she has helped revive her husband using CPR three times, and she didn't hesitate to use the technique on the dog. A veterinarian checked Missy over Tuesday and gave the dog a clean bill of health. Article here.

One freakin' huge coat for sale on eBay! Whoa!

This coat measures from arm to arm 130”, and from the neck down 60+”. The hood alone on the jacket is huge! You can fit two basketballs inside! How awesome is this!


Now, I’m pretty sure this jacket was made for sometime of promotion or design- I don’t even think Shaquille O'Neal could fit into this thing. It is currently selling on eBay for a buy it now price for $500. Click here to see the actual eBay listing.

Jenna Jameson hooked up with Jenny McCarthy

Jenna Jameson confessed to hooking up with Jenny McCarthy on Howard Stern on Wednesday, she admitted to a hell of a lot more than just making out, as I previously thought. In fact, Jenna says Jenny went down on her in a Vegas bathroom, and then later in a Vegas nightclub. And while sex in a casino bathroom may not seem super comfortable, it's better than sex with a lego model of Marissa Miller.

You can hear Jenna talk about sex with Jenny McCarthy here and hear Jenna have an orgasm on the Sybian sex machine here. This is Stern on Sirius, and there's NSFW language.

[via WWTDD]

Crocodile leaps and slams into car

A 6.5-foot saltwater crocodile leapt out of a roadside culvert and slammed into the side of a passing car, authorities said Thursday.

The crocodile died in the collision and was given to local Aborigines, who ate it, said Garry Lindner, crocodile management officer at the Kakadu National Park in northern Australia.

"It was probably startled and it just leaped in the wrong direction once it heard the vehicle coming," Lindner said. " The driver barely had time to respond and the (crocodile) become a road fatality." Lindner said that at this time of year when northern Australia is drenched by monsoon rains it is common for crocodiles to move about looking for food and a place to bask.

The reptile was able to leap with "all four feet off the ground" because it was still young and agile, Lindner said.

The incident is the latest in a series of reports of drivers being confronted by crocodiles in Kakadu and has prompted calls for Northern Territory residents to watch for the reptiles when driving near waterways, particularly during the wet season.

Wow, that’d make for an interesting excuse to tell your boss why you were late to work. Article here.

Taking this shortcut probably wasn't smart

[via picfreak]

Marijuana lip gloss! How awesome is this!?!

“Chronic Candy presents the first product in our new Cosmetics Line: CHRONIC LIP CANDY! This is a Hemp Lip Balm, made up of mostly organic ingredients.”


For those of you who are constantly craving that marijuana taste constantly… now you can (without actually smoking). Click here to buy a pack of two for $4.20.

Check out this Nintendo Beer Pong Table:

15-year-old has sex with 37-year-old, gives baby?

A 15-year-old boy whose 37-year-old wife is due to give birth to the couple's baby this month has run away from a group home, and his wife through her lawyer says she has no idea where he is.

Lisa Clark, who is due to give birth Feb. 20, was "surprised and concerned" by her young husband's disappearance last Friday, her attorney, Daniel Sammons, said. "She has no knowledge of his whereabouts."

The boy's grandmother, however, believes the wife was involved. "I think she's got him hidden out someplace," Judy Hayles told The Associated Press on Thursday. "That was his goal, to get with her," Hayles said. "They were just obsessed with having him there when the baby is born."

Sammons said he did not know when the wife last had contact with the boy, who was removed from his grandmother's custody in late November.

"I have not seen him or spoken to him at all," she said. Clark and the youth, identified in juvenile court only as "A.S.G.," married in November. After being charged with child molestation for her relationship with the boy -- her teenage son's best friend -- Clark was released on bond on condition that she not have contact with him. Clark has said she still hopes to make a life with the boy and their baby.

This story seems like it was written for an episode of the Jerry Springer Show. Crazy. A 15-year-old hooked up with a 37-year-old? Article here.

One ‘puppy-dog face’ you can resist

Thieves steal 3 miles of a railroad track? WTF?

Thieves have dismantled and carted away some 3 miles of disused rail track close to the German town of Weimar.

The railway operator said the thieves would probably sell the tracks as scrap metal with the damage amounting to at least 200,000 euros/$241,500.

Deutsche Bahn said it had noticed the missing track after the mayor of a town alongside the train line phoned in to check if the dismantling was planned.

"This was a major criminal operation, because you cannot simply take the tracks and carry them away," said a spokesman for the rail operator.

Well I think the ‘rail operator’ spokesman pretty much said my feelings… I mean, you don’t just one day think- hmm- we should go steal some rail road track materials. Man, seems like people are stealing anything and everything these days. Article here.