Monday, January 30, 2006

You gotta read this article:

(click to enlarge)

Father punched teacher in face for 'touching' kid

Original News Story:

An angry father who punched a teacher's assistant in the face says he was protecting his 15-year-old daughter who had accused the man of inappropriately touching her.

Dave Swafford is charged with felony battery on a Manatee County school employee. Police say he hit the 35-year-old aide in front of a class full of students at Lakewood Ranch High School near Bradenton on Tuesday.

He was also named "Father of the Year" by a local radio station for his actions.

The assistant, who has not been charged, is on paid leave. School officials say his primary job is "time-out" teacher, overseeing in-school suspension.

Swafford says he came to the school to meet with officials about allegations made by his daughter and other female students about the assistant's inappropriate touching and conduct. When he saw that the man was not in the meeting, he asked his daughter to take him to the classroom.

School district officials say they have placed the teacher's assistant on administrative leave, pending the outcome of the investigation.

Updated News Story:

Manatee County School Officials say the girl made the whole story up, and her girlfriends helped her. They say she was in detention because she poured coke from a second story window on another student. The person who saw her do it was the teacher's aide that was punched. That's why she was sent to detention.

She made up the story to get back at him. She asked her girl friends to back her story. In the process of the investigation, one of the girls cracked, and admitted it was a fabrication.

The girls face possible expulsion from school.

At the time the teacher's aide was accused of improperly touching the student, he was on videotape that showed him on the other side of the school. Article here.

The biggest burger ever made... and eaten!

"It started innocently enough with a Halloween weekend in Vegas (2004). What started as a drunken, silly weekend..became quite legendary. Throughout the weekend, Andy kept on saying: "We should go get a 100x100 at In-N-Out". Over..and over...and over again. Until we finally broke. So on Halloween night, we went to go chowdown"







Here are a couple of interesting stats to summarize the experience:
*Total Calories: (extrapolating from info provided here): 19490 calories

*Total Eaters: 8 (2 girls and one guy who already ate dinner and only ate 6 patties)
*Most patties eaten by 1 person: I think I ate about 20. I think Nalin ate about 20 as well (including the raw ones)
*Time to finish: less then 2 hours
*Number of people who barfed: 1 (way to go Elena!) Oh yeah, nothing says "Vegas baby" like barfing, not because of booze..but because of burgers.


"The sad thing is, In-N-Out use to be one of my favorite things in the world. Clearly, the worst part of this experience wasn't the meat, it was the sweaty cheese. Now, the thought of it makes me sick and I haven't touched it since."

This is awesome, just awesome. Not your typical Vegas story ya know?

College misprints number; sex hotline called

International students may be getting the wrong idea about Seton Hall University after a misprinted phone number.

Applications sent to overseas students interested in the New Jersey Catholic university contain a wrong number. Instead of getting information about the school, callers hear a pitch for a phone sex line featuring, quote, "hot, horny girls."

Seton Hall spokesman Thomas White tells the Star-Ledger of Newark that the typo in the toll-free number has apparently been on the application for years, but no one caught it until now.

Seton Hall calls it "very unfortunate" and apologizes for any confusion or embarrassment. The school has corrected the phone number on its website. But officials say there's nothing they can do about the thousands of applications that have already been mailed. Article here.

Not your typical dishwasher load...

Jailed businessman sews lips shut to prove point

A jailed businessman who is accused of bribing some of Mexico City’s most powerful politicians sewed his lips shut on Monday to protest the criminal charges against him.

Carlos Ahumada, an Argentine nationalized in Mexico, was arrested in Cuba and has been jailed since last year when a local television station broadcast video of him giving bundles of cash to Mexico City politicians. He allegedly was trying to win lucrative government contracts.

The scandal ended the political career of a leading left-wing politician who was his lover at the time. Ahumada, who is also on a hunger strike, had pledged to sew his lips shut if his case was not resolved before Lopez Obrador, Mexico’s most popular politician, stepped down to seek the presidency.

Lopez Obrador left office on Friday and is the current favorite in next year’s race to replace conservative President Vicente Fox, who is barred by the constitution from seeking reelection at the end of his six-year term. Last month a judge threw out money laundering charges against one of the officials shown on tape taking money from Ahumada. Leftist Mexico City lawmaker Rene Bejarano has said he took the cash for a political campaign and never pocketed any of it. The judge ordered Bejarano released, though he faces lesser charges.

Admirable gesture to prove your innocence. However, you gotta admit- dude- that’s f*ckin freaky to look at. Article here.

Eye gazing dating... totally the new fad out

The latest trend is eye-gazing parties, where you're paired with someone and you sit and gaze into the person's eyes for three minutes before moving on to the next person. No talking allowed!

After 45 minutes of this, everyone gets up to mingle and dance. The idea behind this concept, started by 28-year-old Michael Ellsberg, is to cut out the awkward small talk and brainless banter, and instead create intimacy.

Yeah- uh- I’m really not sure how effective this is in ‘pairing’ a compatible couple together. I mean think about it, talking/speech is something like 75% of the way we communicate? Not sure if you can just ‘rule-that-out’ when you are meeting someone for the first time. Who knows though- maybe I’m wrong. Check out more information at the official Eye Gazing Party website.

Woman get tattoo from homemade gun, get sick

Friday night, a man knocked on doors holding a tattoo gun and offering his services. Tamra Eason described the tool as homemade, but still agreed to pay for a tattoo. So did two other women in her apartment complex.


"It was wrapped with black tape, had a pin underneath it, had fishing wire going through it, you could tell it was a homemade gun," Eason said. The next day, Linda Falls passed out and had to be hospitalized.

"I passed out in the store and they said I should have it checked out," Falls said. All the women have an infection in the tattoo area and have been told to get tested for HIV and hepatitis.

"Getting a tattoo is like a wound. There's a risk of disease that may be long term or life threatening. It's a serious decision," said Jaci McReynalds, with the Greene County Health Department.

It is illegal in Missouri to give a tattoo without a license, so if several people file complaints with the state, the county prosecutor will pursue the case. "Beware of deals in parachutes, brain surgery and tattoos," said Miller Cotton, a tattoo parlor owner.

Wow, being as Springfield is my hometown- I had to bury my head in my hands after reading this article. But my favorite part of this whole ‘Mickey-Mouse’ show of a story… the quote by the tattoo parlor owner, “Beware of deals in parachutes, brain surgery and tattoos. Wise words my friend, wise words. Article here.

Baxter you're driving, I call shot gun...

Teacher shows "The 40 Year-Old Virgin" in class

Fernando Del Pino was suspended with pay Tuesday for showing the movie, "The 40 Year-Old Virigin" to students at Lexington's Tates Creek High School.

Del Pino, who was hired in August, said he decided to show the film after a student brought it to class and said it "was very funny."

The movie is about a 40-year-old single man whose friends try to help him gain experience in sex. Parents of Tates Creek students must give written permission for their children to watch an R-rated movie at school, according to the school's video policy.

The policy also states that the videos/movies "must be part of the lesson plan with genuine instruction objectives." The teacher has resigned.

So… this is one of those stories you read and tell yourself… what the hell was he thinking? The title of the freakin’ movie has the word ‘virgin’ in it! You’d think as a teacher that would be an obvious ‘red-flag’ indicator as an inappropriate movie for students. Right? Just me? What a f*ckin moron. Oh, by the way- it is a damn funny movie. Article here.

Tiger Woods buys new house for $38 million!

The world's number-one golfer has completed a $38 million purchase of ten acres of residential property in Jupiter Island, Florida, stretching from the Atlantic Ocean to the Intracoastal Waterway.

The transaction marks the largest single residential sale in the county's history. Tiger Woods' new property includes a 13,000-square-foot home, several guest houses and two docks.


It should provide him with enough space for his 155-foot yacht. Records show the main, two-story home includes eight bedrooms and 13 bathrooms, and another house has six bedrooms and seven baths.

Jupiter Island is a waterfront strip north of Palm Beach considered among the nation's wealthiest addresses. It's home to fellow golfers Greg Norman and Nick Price and singers Celine Dion and Alan Jackson.

The 30-year-old Woods and his wife Elin also own homes in Orlando, Florida, California, Sweden and Jackson, Wyoming.

Ok, after losing my breath when I read this article, I realized how outrageous this is. Tiger dropped 38 million for another house. Thirty-f*ckin-eight-million! Which, I might add actually is really not another house… it should be described as an estate/ ranch/ campus/ big-ass-crib. I guess it pays to be the most dominant golfer to ever play the game. Article here.

Nice boots

The Highlights of My Day...

10. Smoked peyote, stubbled across a Choose Your Own Adventure book, woke up 14 hours later in the backseat of a taxi with a bucket of fried chicken.

9. Threatened a random stranger by poking him in the chest while whispering, "I don't step on toes, I step on necks!"

8. Realized my threat could be viewed as plagarizm, as the great Chuck Norris mentioned those exact words in Delta Force.

7. Discovered taking a shit in an empty pop can is not as hard as it may seem.

6. Let out a silent fart near the desk of the guy who always wistles "Don't Worry, Be Happy" in the elevator.

5. Discovered (yes that's two discoveries today) that I may be the only 24 year old professional who farts on, or around the area of, my co-workers.

4. Saw an old man adjust his nut sack.

3. Followed around this kid wearing a F.B.I (Female Body Inspector) shrit and kept asking him to please kill himself.

2. Placed the greatest bid of all time on E-bay ...somebody really should buy that.

1. Fixed my TiVo and was able to retrieve the episode of Family Ties, when Tom Hanks guest starred as the alcoholic uncle, Ned Donnely...it's an emotional roller-coster.

[via The Casual Friday]

The New Baby Homepage, interesting?

So inspired by the Million Dollar Homepage, a woman has decided to create the website: New Baby Homepage.com.


“The New Baby Homepage is a place to show off your baby (or yourself as a baby!) to family and friends.” On The New Baby Homepage are 630 squares, each of which will eventually contains a thumbnail image of a newborn. The squares are leased for a duration of between 3 months and two years and that includes a 'mini-blog' where proud parents can list baby's vital statistics (birth weight, length, parents names etc) and add any extra information and two more (full size) pictures.

Currently it only costs $1 to purchase a square for three months. However, if you want to purchase 6 months it is $40! Now, obviously since she copied the concept from Million Dollar Hompage, the creator is trying to capitalize on the current ‘craze.’ I’m really not sure if this will take-off, but don’t be surprised if it does. Currently the site has only had 4,800+ people visit the site (which by no means is significant traffic at all).

P.S. Traci is not a newcomer to advertising and promotion. She got some attention last year when she sold advertising space on the clothing of her baby, Jake on eBay.

The Diablo Sandwich Maker is kinda cool

I’m really perplexed why this Kitchen contraption is shaped like a devil? See the horns? WTF? Anyways, aside that cosmetic detail, this thing is pretty cool. The cool thing about this kitchen gadget is that you can fill a ton of stuff into this ‘pocket’ sandwich. Much more than the ToastMaster I already own. I’m jealous. Click here to buy one for $23.

Overheard on the streets of New York

CSR: That guy was such a moron! And he kept trying to tell me he had a photographic memory. I thought to myself, "Yeah, well you must be out of film."

--7350 Tilghman Street

Girl: One pack of Parliament Lights.
Vendor guy: You 18?
Girl: Well, I'm actually 22.
Crazy guy: Girly, you look like you are 10...but it's okay. I like that.

--45th & 8th

Teen girl #1: Let's go in this store.
Teen girl #2: I don't know...it looks kind of sketch. And there's a weird guy staring at us.
Teen girl #1: Come on! What have we got to lose?
Teen girl #3: Um, our virginity?

--St. Marks
[via OHINY]

One great t-shirt for KU (Kansas) fans...

Woman flushes wedding ring down toilet...?

Dolores Del Ciampo lost her late husband's wedding ring, and Dolores thought she'd lost it forever. She'd wrapped it in tissue to take it to be polished. Del Ciampo says, "And I just inadvertently threw the tissue away - into the bowl - and flushed."

When she realized what she'd done she began calling plumbers. The first four said, “Sorry, it's gone. And I thought, I'm going to persevere and I'm going to try one more, and he was the one who referred me to the MDC,” says Del Ciampo.

The Metropolitan District Commission -- the sewer and water authority for the region -- it was Dolores' last hope. She thought it was gone forever, gone in the maze of pipes. After she'd flushed the toilet the MDC workers, many who've been here for many years, say they've never tried to get something this small -- they didn't think it was possible.

"I actually thought it would be impossible to accomplish," says Edwin Ruiz. Edwin Ruiz was running a tiny camera searching the pipes for the pendant. "Luckily the light caught the glare," says Ruiz
But finding it was only half the battle. Now they had to get it out fighting the “elements.” "Lot of flow, lot of grit, a lot of paper towels and stuff like that," says Primo Randinone. Not to mention tricky pipe joints that could swallow the pendant forever.


"When I saw it, I just put my hand in there and scooped it up for her," says Randinone. Another worker's cell phone camera captured the happy reunion as Dolores got back the pendant.

"I can't begin to tell you -- there aren't words to tell you what I actually felt. I was just so happy and so ever grateful to everyone who just helped," says Del Ciampo. If it was another piece of jewelry Mrs. Del Ciampo says she would have let it go, but her husband died 5 months ago, just shy of their 50th wedding anniversary.

Wow, I really can’t believe they found this? Article here.