Friday, March 30, 2007

This just looks awkward.

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Top 10 April Fool's Day Pranks:

CareerBuilder.com has named the top ten most memorable capers uncovered in this year's survey:

1. Sent a letter signed by the president of the company that informed employees they would have to take potty breaks in alphabetical order.


2. Decreased the size of boss's lab coat. Joke continued after April 1 with boss perplexed by his coats getting tighter each week while he was dieting so diligently.

3. Made for a very foggy day with dry ice in the urinal.

4. Changed all of boss's reading glasses to clear glass.

5. Sent a note to co-worker's pager that said to contact "George." The number was to the White House.

6. Employee went to the restroom and when he came out, he ran into a wall of tape draped across the doorway, courtesy of his team.

7. Put "random burping" program on boss's computer that would loudly burp every few seconds -- it went on for days.

8. Brought in jelly doughnuts filled with ketchup.

9. Had someone with a "questionable" profession call the office and ask for directions.

10. CEO placed a very large and official-looking "For Sale" sign in front of the building.

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A timeless tradition; sex in the library.

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Michael Jackson wants to build a giant robot of himself in Vegas. No really, he's serious.

Michael Jackson is in discussions about creating a 50-foot robotic replica of himself to roam the Las Vegas desert, according to reports.

The pop legend is currently understood to be living in the city, as he considers making a comeback after 2004's turbulent child sex case. It has now been claimed that his plans include an elaborate show in Vegas, which would feature the giant Jacko striding around the desert, firing laser beams.
If built, the metal monster would apparently be visible to aircraft as they come in to land in the casino capital. It is the centerpiece of an elaborate Jackson-inspired show in Vegas, according to Andre Van Pier, the robot's designer.

Luckman Van Pier, his partner at the company behind the proposal, claims blueprints have been drawn up for the show and seen by the star. "Michael's looked at the sketches and likes them," he told the New York Daily News.

On the subject of the robot, he continued: "It would be in the desert sands. Laser beams would shoot out of it so it would be the first thing people flying in would see." Article here.

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jiggle it.

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The worst song lyrics of all time:

"Coast to coast L.A. to Chicago"
--Sade's 'Smooth Operator'

"Young, black and famous With money hangin' Out the anus"
--Puff Daddy and Mase's 'Can't Nobody Hold Me Down'

"Your butt is mine"
--Michael Jackson's 'Bad'

"My panty line shows, Got a run in my hose, My hair went flat, Man I hate that"
--Shania Twain's 'Honey I'm Home'

"Now you're amazed, By the VIP posse, Steppin' so hard, Like a German Nazi"
--Vanilla Ice's 'Play That Funky Music'

"I wish it was Sunday, That's my fun day, My I-don't-have-to-run day"
--The Bangles' 'Manic Monday'

"I ain't never seen, An ass like that, The way you move it, You make my pee-pee go, 'Doing-doing-doing'"
--Eminem's 'Ass Like That'

"There's an insect, In your ear, If you scratch, It won't disappear"
--U2's 'Staring at the Sun'

"I love you like a fat kid loves cake"
--50 Cent's '21 Questions'

"Lucky that my breasts, Are small and humble, So you don't confuse, Them with mountains"
--Shakira's 'Whenever, Wherever'

See the full list here.

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One time, at band camp...

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Puff Daddy had sex for 30 hours with his girlfriend?

Sean “Diddy” Combs has some potent staying power. The rap impresario is apparently also a sexual maestro: He claims to have had sex for 30 straight hours.
Combs, discussing his romantic stay in Paris with his girlfriend Kim Porter, told the London Mirror: “As soon as we landed, we went straight to the Eiffel Tower, drank champagne at the top and just kissed and kissed. Then we went up to my suite and had tantric sex for at least 30 hours, ordering up whipped cream and strawberries while we were at it.

Combs, who is not given to modesty, added, “As meticulous as I am with my work, I'm more meticulous with lovemaking. I like to do it for a long time.” Full article here.

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[graphic] the worst 'broken arm' videos I've ever seen

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Wedding guests hurt in wild wedding reception brawl

Six guests have been taken to hospital and a restaurant has been trashed in a wild wedding reception brawl. The free-for-all broke out during a banquet at a chinese restaurant in Brisbane, but police can't take action because no one involved is talking.

One of the guests was thrown on to a table in the melee, while others suffered cuts and bruises. Bllodstains were left on the restaurant carpet. The cause of the fight remains a mystery and even the restaurant owner is staying silent.

Police said that, in the absence of a formal complaint or the use of weapons, they were left hamstrung in their ability to investigate the ruckus or lay charges. Patrick Ching, who manages The Manor Chinese Restaurant at Eight Mile Plains on the city's southside, said he had no intention of taking the matter any further. "They paid their bill," he said.

Senior-Sergeant Matt Saunders said there had clearly been a fight. "It was quite obvious one man had been thrown on to the table with several others on top of him, but no one – not even the restaurant manager – would talk about it," he said. "It was just one big wall of silence."

The restaurant was left with a hole in the wall, broken glass on the floor and bloodstains on the carpet following the reception for more than 50 people. Article here.

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Courteney Cox kisses Jennifer Aniston

This is from the season finale of Dirt (aired Mar. 27, 2007) featuring Courteney Cox kissing with Jennifer Aniston. NOTE: it's nothing much... but nevertheless they do kiss.

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Dude breaks into car, steals $1k worth of penis pumps

Council Bluffs Police reports stated officers were called to the Fairfield Inn for a report of a burglary to a vehicle.

An Overland Park, Kan., man told officers someone broke the passenger side window on his vehicle and stole five penis pumps and parts, valued at $1,300, according to police reports. Damage to the window was placed at $200.
At the time of the report, the victim found no other items missing or no other damage to his vehicle. The case was marked inactive because there were no suspects or witness information available. Article here.

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Pizza’s so much better anyways.

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Dad caught smoking pot during girls slumber party

Police busted a man and his friend with five pounds of pot in his garage while his 10-year-old daughter was having a slumber party inside the home.
Palm Bay police arrested Robert Hodges and Coycee Moore Wednesday.

Investigators said they made the bust while the two were smoking pot in the garage. Meanwhile, Hodge's daughter and her two friends were inside the home for a sleep over. Article here.

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