Wednesday, February 22, 2006

One cool baby!

Man kills his roommate over toliet paper?

A man has been arrested for fatally beating his roommate with a sledgehammer and a claw hammer because there was no toilet tissue in the home.

Franklin Paul Crow, 56, has been charged Monday with homicide for the death of Kenneth Matthews, 58, according to the Marion County Sheriff's Office.

Crow told investigators that the men were fighting over the weekend about the toilet tissue when Matthews pulled out a rifle. Crow said he then began beating Matthews with the sledgehammer and claw hammer, according to an affidavit.

Capt. Thomas Bibb said Crow initially denied his involvement with the crime, but confessed when questioned. Matthews was beaten so badly he had to be identified through his fingerprints, detectives said.

Crow was being held at the Marion County jail without bond. It was not immediately known whether he had an attorney.

Oh-my-gosh… are you serious? These guys have some ‘issues’ they definitely need to work out. I mean, as much as I hate that my roommates don’t like cleaning- I’m not considering beating them over the head with a sledgehammer… till now. J/K. No really- this is f*cked up that this guy did this. Article here.

Well that's one way to go about it

Overheard on the streets of New York:

Girl #1: It's weird you're never horny.
Girl #2: I just feel like sex is like bowling. I mean, I enjoy bowling but I'm never like, "God, I haven't bowled in so long" or "It's Friday night. I have got to go bowling." You know?
Girl #1: Maybe you haven't found the right bowling partner.
Girl #2: Bowling is something that really isn't improved by doing it with someone else. I've enjoyed bowling but I could go the rest of my life without doing it again. I mean, I know I'll have sex again, but I could give a rat's ass. Have you ever heard anyone say "I need to bowl real bad"?

-L train

Woman #1: So you never finished telling me that story about whatshisname...Come over here and tell me while I dookie.
Woman #2: Uh...
Woman #1: What? Don't act like I don't tell you shit while you're on the toilet!

-Port Authority ladies' room

[via OHINY]

Choose what clothes this dude wears out

So what are you going to wear today? That is a question that one dude is letting people on the internet decide.

Every day on Kevin McCormick's Web site,
DressKevin.com, he asks what he should wear the next day. Viewers pick from photos he's taken of practically every item in his closet -- even down to his socks.
McCormick said his audience is almost all female -- either 13-year-olds who want to dress their boyfriends or 45-year-olds who want to dress their sons.

Is that really a surprise? How many dudes are sitting around thinking- hmmm… I’d really like to pick out some nice matching clothes for this guy to wear tomorrow. Click here to go to his website.

What?

Get eight hours of sleep in half the time

New drugs which will allow people to survive on only two hours sleep a day are being developed, scientists have said.

The drugs will allow people to cope with the pressures of 24-hour society.

The New Scientist magazine says the new 'lifestyle' pills will deliver sleep which is deeper and more refreshing than the real thing, with some giving what feels like eight hours sleep in half the time.

The pills could even allow people not to sleep for several days in a row.

Russell Foster, a circadian biologist at Imperial College London, said: "The more we understand about the body's 24-hour clock the more we will be able to override it.

"In 10 to 20 years we'll be able to pharmacologically turn sleep off. Mimicking sleep will take longer, but I can see it happening."

Neil Stanley, head of sleep research at the Human Psychopharmacology Research Unit at the University of Surrey, countered: "I think that would be the most hideous thing to happen to society."

Hell yes! I would totally be buying this stuff in bulk. I hate sleep. I’d rather be up and doing stuff rather than sleeping. Although, I’m a little weary in the fact that this probably is pretty dangerous. I’ll wait to see the results from the clinical studies… Article here.

One wicked toliet seat...

Group couples therapy...

An excerpt from the blog, Anonymous Lawyer:

Anonymous Wife dragged me some sort of group couples therapy this afternoon. I don't really understand any of it, but I was willing to play along this time, probably because I got too much sleep last night and didn't feel like having an argument.

We had to stand in a circle and say something personal about ourselves. I don't need anybody knowing any personal things about me. One guy said something about how he feels like his wife is smarter than he is, and he resents her for it. I obviously don't have that problem. His wife said she sometimes doesn't find her husband attractive. I don't blame her.

I shared a story about someone who pushed all of the buttons in the elevator when I was going up to my office, and it made me mad, and fired the kid's father once I figured out who it was he belonged to, because he should teach his son better than that.

The inter-VIEW

Brokeback Mountain shirt sold, $101,100

IMDB has confirmed that the gay shirt Jake Gyllenhaal wore portraying gay cowboy Jack Twist in the gay movie Brokeback Mountain has sold for $101,100 gay dollars. The was sold on the poplular internet auction site Ebay. Maybe you heard of it?

Anyways, the shirt went on sale earlier this month and was sold late yesterday to a huge fan who called himself hlwdstar. That's not a typo, that's his ebay name. The shirt started off at $9.99 and after 165 bids sold for the huge amount of $101,100.

I am a little jealous about his sweaty shirt selling for that much. I once traded my shirt to a bum to ask one question on his magic 8 ball, and as great as that sounds, I spent the night freezing. I ended up asking the magic 8 ball if the bum would give me back my shirt. It arrogantly replied outlook not so good."

Click here to see the actual eBay listing.

[via Darkhat]

Pimp your kid's ride:

New drink claims to make you horny

Whether you're married or dating, if love isn't exactly in the air for you, a new drink on the market claims it can get your mojo flowing again. The makers of Turn On claim that their product boosts sexual desire.
"I don't see anything in here that would cause sexual arousal or desire," sex therapist Judith Silverstein said. Turn On's Web site has testimonials from satisfied consumers.

"Sex sells, and those are great marketing, great advertising. There's no regulation of things like drinks by the FDA, so they can claim anything they want to," Silverstein said.

Turn On is loaded with vitamins and herbs such as ginseng, gingko biloba and what the makers call the key to its powers -- schizandra, a small red fruit from China that is touted as an aphrodisiac.

"The only thing I could see in here that would stimulate sexual functioning is caffeine because it improves the circulation a tiny bit. It's a vasodilator," Silverstein said. Boston University Medical Center's Dr. Caroline Apovian said that there could be some risks.

"Drink this soda at your own risk," Apovian said. "Beware of nutritional supplements. Really read the label and then do your own research, and you'll find that many of these herbal substances really haven't been studied very well."

Experts said that the primary sex organ is the brain. So if consumers believe Turn On really boosts sex drive, it's not from what's in the can -- but from what's inside their heads. Article here.

A sweet-ass high school Senior picture

My favorite part of this picture? The lighted fog smoke surrounding this guy… f*ckin sweet!

Bird head found in can of beans? WTF?

The manager of an Indiana canning plant said that he did not know how it could have produced a can of pinto beans with a bird's head inside as claimed by an Illinois woman.

Chicago-based La Preferida Inc. announced a voluntary recall on Friday of a limited number of its cans as it investigated how the head ended up in the 15-ounce can.

David Morrow, general manager of Eaton-based Meridian Foods, said he was eager for answers about the discovery last week by a DeKalb, Ill., woman who reported buying the can at a grocery store in nearby Aurora, Ill.

"We don't know anything, and we are waiting on the results of tests," Morrow told The Star Press of Muncie. "We have procedures in place to prevent these things from happening, and we have reviewed those procedures."

Out of all the things that can be found in a can of beans… a bird’s head? How the f*ck does that happen? Article here.

Some nice air-time...

Darts are piercing peoples heads?

A wave of international victories for Dutch darts players has prompted an increase in the number of injuries as people take up the game at home.

Over-eagerness caused some of the most injuries, with players hurling their darts before opponents had finished retrieving their own. Poorly hung dartboards also posed problems. "Often the board falls down on someone's foot or worse on someone's head," she added.
About 120 people are admitted to hospitals each year with injuries sustained during darts, with pierced fingers, wrists most common and eye injuries.

Ouch! Article here.