Friday, December 30, 2005

I will return to my regularly scheduled blogging...

So I decided to take one of those things, uh…er… whatcha-ma-call-its, oh yes- a vacation. I will be tearin’ up the wonderful ski slopes of Wolf Creek, Colorado for an entire week. However, since it’s a vacation- and there will be no internet connection (let alone even cell phone service), I will not be able to post. But don’t panic! I will return to my regularly scheduled quality Across-the-Board blogging as soon as I return. Traumatic news, I know. You’ll just have to deal with it.

A picture that captures a 'magical' drunk moment

This sh*t is Bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S. No really.

*A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.

*Research has proved that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout.

*A banana can help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must for our daily diet.

*According to a recent survey, people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana.

*PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

*Brain Power: 200 students at a school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power.

*Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

*Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

*Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

*Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.

*Smoking: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

*Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be re-balanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

Looks like I’m eating a banana every day from now own. Who'd-a-thunk-it? Click here to read more about bananas.

Some 'encouragement' for her boyfriend

The value of pit-board signals during long distance running races can not be under estimated. But this one, spotted in New Zealand recently, is text book. The message was clear - every other inducement so far had failed to inspire her boyfriend, so the ultimate encouragement seemed perfectly in order. It didn't work. He crashed going into the next corner.

Cat Locks Woman Out Of Her Own Car

Locking yourself out of your car is bad enough, but Jeanna Stewart was even more embarrassed when the culprit was not her, but her cat.

The Morgantown resident said she was getting a spare house key out her car's trunk on Monday when her cat Mork, one of three in the car, stepped on the automatic door lock. She couldn't unlock the door because she had left her car keys on the driver's seat.

"He wouldn't unlock the door for me," Stewart said Tuesday. "He was standing there, saying, 'Why aren't you opening the door? I want to go inside."'

Stewart went into her house and called the fire department for help.

"They rescued my three little kitties," Stewart said. "I didn't need a rescue for me, just for them." Article here.

First of all, I'm sure the cat was 'talking to her.' Yeah, right. Second, the cat knew what it was doing. It had enough of Jeanna's sh*t-show pet care habits. This cat wanted vengeance. It probably would of drove the car off it could have reached the pedals. Article here.

Check out these Ninja shoes you can buy!

Drunk Driver Tells Deputies To Take Him To Jail

According to the sheriff's office, 72-year-old John Watson was stopped for driving over the speed limit on U.S.-17 and told the deputy that he was drunk and to take him to jail.
He apparently hadn't done too well on the sobriety tests, which include a one-leg stand and the "finger to nose" test.

When asked if he wanted to try the tests again, deputies say Watson told them "No" and to just take him to jail.

Watson is charged with driving under the influence. He was being held at the Crescent City Police Department. There, breath tests placed his blood-alcohol level well over the Florida limit of .08ht. His was at .199 and .198.

Why fight it right? Might as well save the time and embarrassment.

Rooftop roller coaster

10 Craziest Science Stuff you didn't know...

1.) You can Hypnotize Chickens
A chicken can be hypnotized, or put into a trance by holding its head down against the ground, and continuously drawing a line along the ground with a stick or a finger... click to read more.

2.) You can have an erection once dead
A death erection (sometimes referred to as "angel lust") is a post-mortem erection which occurs when a male individual dies vertically or face-down... click to read more.

3.) Your hand can have a life of it's own
Alien hand syndrome (or Dr. Strangelove syndrome) is an unusual neurological disorder in which one of the sufferer's hands seems to take on a life of its own... click to read more.

4.) Don't laugh too much, it can kill you
Fatal hilarity is death as a result of laughter. In the third century B.C. the Greek philosopher Chrysippus died of laughter after seeing... click to read more.

5.) A weapon could make you Gay
Gay bomb is an informal name for a potential non-lethal chemical weapon, which a U.S. Air Force research laboratory speculated about producing... click to read more.

6.) It's true, Men can breastfeed
The phenomenon of male lactation in humans has become more common in recent years due to the use of medications that stimulate... click to read more.

7.) Bart Simpson's Tomacco (half tomato, half tobacco) was possible
A tomacco is originally a fictional hybrid fruit that is half tomato and half tobacco, from the 1999 episode... click to read more.

8.) It's OK to have a third nipple
A supernumerary nipple (also known as a third nipple) is an additional nipple occurring in mammals including humans. Often mistaken for moles... click to read more.

9.) You can die on the Toilet
There are many toilet-related injuries and some toilet-related deaths throughout history and in urban legends...
click to read more.

10.) Picking one's nose and eating it might be healthy
Mucophagy (literally mucus-eating, also referred as picking one's nose and eating it) is the consumption of the nasal mucus, boogers, and other detritus... click to read more.

Dood. Talk about a painful pug pose.

Kid opens iPod box, all he got was meat? WTF?

It was not the Christmas surprise a Mililani mom had in mind. She saved up to buy an iPod for her son, but the gift ended up being a big disappointment.

Like any mom, Rachel Cambra couldn't wait to see the look on her son's face when he opened his Christmas present.

"When he saw this, he was very happy," says Cambra. "He said, 'oh my gosh, Mom, this is just what I wanted. I can't believe you got it!'"

"This was the last one," says Cambra. It was an iPod video, or so they thought.
"This is what he opened it up to -- no iPod," says Cambra. No iPod, she says, just a mystery meat.

"He went from joy, really happy joyful, then to discover this just angry and hurt," says Cambra. "I'm devastated."

Cambra works at the Keeaumoku Wal-Mart. She put the last iPod on layaway so she could afford the $300 surprise.

"I know what I went through to get this for him. To open up and find this, I don't know what to say," says Cambra. No one knows how the mystery meat got inside the package. Cambra tells us it was wrapped and didn't look like anyone had tampered with the product. She says it'll be hard to make it up to her son.
"I do know my son should get an iPod, but I'm just upset about the whole thing," says Cambra.

The Wal-Mart manager says the iPod will be replaced as soon as possible and that it's the first time he's heard of something like this. Apple couldn't be reached for comment.

Sucks to be this kid. Should of asked for a pink bunny pajamas buddy. My guess, some dude at Wal-Mart 'jacked' the iPod. Article here.

Check out these iPod babies

Telemarketer's Call Saves 85-Year-Old's Life

This time, you can actually thank a telemarketer.

An 85-year-old Illinois man fell and spent the night outdoors before help came in the form of a random caller.

Crystal Rozell works for Consumer Direct Marketing in Saratoga Springs, N.Y. When she called the elderly man last Thursday morning, he was cold and desperate outside his rural home. His phone could not make outgoing calls.

Rozell kept the man on the phone until police could be called. The man was taken to the hospital. Stephenson County Sheriff David Snyders in Illinois had no information about the man's condition, but he wanted to thank Rozell for her help.

What this story didn't tell you is that the telemarketer probably bartered / blackmailed this guy before she called the cops. This guy probably is now signed up for 25 new magazines and a new long distance plan. Article here.