Thursday, January 18, 2007

Hmm… well that’s different.

Overheard on the streets of New York:

Boriqua woman: My two-year-old refuses to understand the concept of 'Shut the fuck up and go to sleep.'
-McDonald's, Union Square

Chick #1: Wow, you're really good at that!
Chick #2: Eh, I think the trick is to start young.
Chick #3: looking worried: Handjobs?
Chick #2: Uh... No. Using chopsticks.
-New Big Wong Restaurant

Female employee: My boss hates hearing about menstruation. Any time I want to get him off my back I just tell him I'm having my period. He puts his hands up over his ears like he's hearing nails on a blackboard. If he doesn't leave me alone right away, I tell him my napkin is soaked and I have to change it.
-Peter Luger's, Williamsburg

Construction worker #1: Braille really trips me out.
Construction worker #2: I know. Me, too.
Construction worker #1: Do you think they have different fonts?
-21st St & Park Ave

Dude #1: Dude, you see how hot Sara looked last night?
Dude #2: Dude, I would fucking lick her ass.
Dude #3: Dude, there's kids around.
Dude #2: What, what did I say?
Dude #3: That you'd fuckin' lick Sara's ass!
40-something mom of three: Why don't you know your fuckin' surroundings, fuckface? There's kids around.
Dude #2: Harsh, man.
-Park Ave & 19th St

Young woman #1: Guys never want to eat me out.
Middle-aged dad with kids: Hey, we're trying to eat over here.
Young woman #1: See, even hearing about it freaks them out.
Young man at next table: Maybe I can take a look for you and give you my assessment.
Middle-aged dad with kids: For God's sake, this is a family restaurant!
Young woman #2: You have a very controversial vagina.
-Mickey D's, Times Square

Man: I just don't get it! Just last night you were complaining about how you never try anything new, but you feel like you should.
Woman: Ok, well ordering the roast duck is a little different than a threesome, Tim.
-13th & 3rd

via

Funny yet strangely awkward photo ;)

Britney Spears is pregnant again! Her third child!?

Britney Spears’s friends believe that the baby-popping singer may be pregnant again, according to In Touch Weekly.

The friends’ concern may help to explain why Spears seems not to have lost any of her pregnancy weight and why she has been getting sick lately. In one widely circulated photo, Spears was shown throwing up peanut butter and reports said she had been drinking, but according to ITW, Spears has been skipping the booze. “Her dancers were indulging in Malibu rum and pineapple drinks and taking shots of vodka,” a witness to a January 14 party at a Las Vegas casino told the mag. “But Britney drank bottled water.” Spears gave birth to her second child only four months ago — but friends point out that she got pregnant for the second time only three months after having her first child.
“I’ve seen her during the last two pregnancies and she has the same look now,” a “pal who sees Britney every week” told the mag. “She’s heavier, but that’s not it. It’s the sparkle in her eye. She always gets that sparkle when she’s pregnant, like she’s relaxed and happy.” Article here.

Babies and Beer… always makes you chuckle.

Parents lock daughter in bedroom for two years?

A couple is accused of locking their daughter up in a small room for nearly two years as punishment for behaving badly.

The couple only allowed the 13-year-old girl to leave for bathroom breaks, meals and to do chores, according to a criminal complaint filed in Winnebago County Circuit Court Tuesday.

The complaint states the girl was locked in a small bedroom for 22 hours a day for nearly two years. The bedroom was secured with a dead bolt accessible only from the outside and an alarm system that went off if the door was opened. There was a camera in the room that recorded what the girl was doing during at all hours of the day and night and the only furnishings in the room was a urine soaked mattress, a blanket, a pillow and an empty dresser.

Clint M. Engstrom, the girl's 32-year-old father, and her stepmother, Lynn M. Engstrom, 35, are charged with causing mental harm to a child, a felony that carries a maximum penalty of 12 years, six months in prison and a $25,000 fine.
Court Commissioner Daniel Bissett ordered the Engstroms to each be held in the Winnebago County Jail in lieu of a $25,000 cash bond. Article here.

Damn, ice is freakin' dangerous -- even in Portland

knowing these people can't stop, this is painful to watch

Dude draws perfect freehand circle in 1 second

[follow-up] Radio DJs fired for 'water drinking contest'

A California radio station has fired 10 staff members after a contest to drink as much water as possible to win a new Nintendo Wii game console resulted in a woman's death, a company spokesman said on Wednesday.

Jennifer Strange, 28, a mother of three, died from water intoxication after taking part in a "Hold your wee for a Wii" competition on a morning radio show on Sacramento station KDND-FM Friday.

She was one of about 20 contestants who tried to outdrink each other without going to the toilet and was reported to have drunk about seven quarts (6-1/2 liters) of water in a bid to win the Wii for her children. She was the runner-up.

After the contest she called in sick at work and was found dead at her home about five hours later.

A spokesman for the station's parent company, Entercom/Sacramento, said 10 staff members, including several on-air DJs, had been fired from the station over the incident.

In an online recording of the show, the DJs can be heard making comments joking about people dying from water intoxication, even discussing a case in Northern California two years ago in which student Matthew Carrington, 21, died after drinking too much water during a fraternity pledge.

One of the DJs even admitted they maybe should have done some research before the contest. One female caller, who identified herself as Eva, also phoned in to warn the radio station that drinking too much water can kill. Article here.

WTF? WTF? WTF? WTF? WTF? WTF? WTF?

Super Bowl says, 'no thanks' to Britney Spears

Casting is underway for an all-star promo spot for the NFL Network during the upcoming Super Bowl on February 4th. Although several celebrities have been contacted to appear, sources close to the negotiations say Britney's people contacted the network about participating. They said no.
She's too much of a train wreck," says the insider. "Besides, we already have Paris Hilton." Source.

The biggest skateboard on earth:

fyi, the reporter sounds like she say's "dick", but she's really saying "deck"

Dude with creepy mannequin fetish jailed for stealing

A Detroit man with a record of breaking store windows to satisfy a fetish for female mannequins faces up to life in prison if convicted on the latest charge against him.

Ronald A. Dotson, 39, is charged with attempted breaking and entering after police say he broke a display window Oct. 9 at a cleaning supply store in a failed effort to get at a female mannequin dressed in a black-and-white French maid's outfit.

Dotson was first convicted in Ferndale for breaking a store window in pursuit of female mannequins in 1993. Police say they arrested him after he had stolen three female mannequins from a downtown business and lined them up in an alley behind the store.

Dotson's criminal history includes at least six breaking and entering convictions involving female mannequins over the past 13 years and stints in state prison. A
rticle here.

Notice it 'busted' through not just 1 house, but 2

9-year-old runaway flies from to Seattle to San Antonio

A 9-year-old boy who didn't like his suburban Tacoma home grabbed a car, got caught, was returned home to his mother, then ran away again and flew to San Antonio with a plane change in Phoenix before he was arrested, authorities said.

Investigators and Southwest Airlines officials were trying to determine how Semaj Booker, who was trying to get to his grandfather in Texas, made his way through security and onto the airplane.

In a statement Wednesday, Southwest Airlines said a young man approached the ticket counter at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport requesting a boarding pass and saying his mother was already in the boarding area.

"The young man's information matched a paid, ticketless reservation for the flight. Based on the information he gave us, he was issued a boarding pass," the airline said, adding that he was not listed as an "unaccompanied minor" because he told the ticket agent he was 12 years old.

He made it through airport security in Seattle and Phoenix, and hopped two separate flights before gate agents in San Antonio stopped him short of his Dallas destination, police said.

Airline employees stopped Semaj from boarding another flight from San Antonio to Dallas when he couldn't explain why he didn't have the proper paperwork or a boarding pass, said David Hebert, spokesman for the San Antonio International Airport.

The boy's mother, Sakinah Booker, told The News Tribune he dislikes the neighborhood where the family lives and is afraid of a sex offender who lives nearby. Read the full article here.