Tuesday, May 15, 2007

[snl skit] what's in a word?

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Yep, you can deep-fry everything and eat it, even testicles

They call it "a nut fry." But these aren't cashews or peanuts. More than 300 people feasted on deep-fried testicles at Mama's Place Bar and Grill in Elderon, Wisconsin, over the weekend.

They paid five bucks each for all-you-can-eat goat, lamb and bull parts. Buster Hoffman says they taste pretty good after you get over what you're eating. Butch Joubert says after a few beers, you think you're just eating regular meatballs. Article here.

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Wow, now I’ve seen it all. No really.

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Gmail users are younger, richer, good in bed.

via http://www.mashable.com

Unsurprisingly, perhaps, the latest stats show that Gmail users skew younger and richer than those on Yahoo Mail and Hotmail.

Gmail opened up to all comers in February, with Gmail’s market share of US visits climbing 17% from February 2007 to April 2007. However, Yahoo Mail and Hotmail are still much bigger by comparison, says Hitwise: Yahoo had 13x the market share, and Hotmail had 6x the marketshare of Gmail.

The good news, if you’re a Gmail user, is that you may be part of the elite: while Yahoo and Hotmail users are decidedly average, Gmail users tend to be young, have a high income, and be early adopters of technology. 54% of users are between 18 and 34, while 18% have an average annual household income between $100,000 and $149,999 (compared to 15% for Hotmail and 13% for Yahoo Mail). Another stat, probably related to the young age of GMail users: they’re more likely to be Facebook users than those on the other services.

As for performance in the bedroom - well, we kinda lied. In fact, the stats show that solitary Gmail users are far more likely to Google themselves.

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Hmm… something tells me these won’t be popular.

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Dude offered 17-year-old an 'athletic massage'

There was soft music playing in the loft when the 17-year-old track athlete arrived at her coach's home after school. Tom Porras, 49, a former professional football player and substitute teacher and track coach at Saguaro High School, had asked the girl to come to his house to watch videos of other athletes doing the long jump. He also asked if he could give her an "athletic massage." the student told police that she trusted Porras, her track coach, and believed that going to his home would make her "a better athlete."

The girl said she knew that other athletes had gone to Porras' home for a massage and to work out with him because he is a personal trainer. Porras told her to put on her two-piece bathing suit, and led her to a loft where he asked her to sit on an exercise ball.

He massaged her neck and shoulders then asked her to roll onto her stomach. He fondled her buttocks beneath her bathing suit. Porras kissed her neck, cheeks and buttocks, and told her that if she had questions about sex, he would answer them. She declined.

The girl told police she "felt uncomfortable, but didn't know what to do." She became alarmed when he ejaculated on her. He told her it was massage oil.


As she was leaving his house, her coach had one last piece of advice for her. If she saw his son outside, she should tell him they were just "watching sports videos." Full article here.

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What happens when you scan a mirror?

(via: http://flickr.com/photos/sxenko/496942265)

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'Gymkata'. Has anyone even seen this movie?

(too funny, it almost seems fake)

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Dude kills enstranged wife's lover with 42-insh samurai sword

Willie Tarpley Jr. had just moved out of the home he shared with his estranged wife when he found her new lover in a sex offender database. He was furious that she would allow the man near their two daughters, ages 3 and 14 months, said Lana Garcia, a neighbor and family friend.

Tarpley, 46, drove to the home that he once shared with his wife, Jacqueline. He went into the garage, where, a neighbor said, he keeps a large collection of weapons. He chose a 42-inch katana, a Japanese samurai sword, and went inside to confront Lee Alexander, a 25-year-old ranch hand who was convicted in 2000 of a lewd and lascivious act on a person under 16. Less than 15 minutes later, Alexander was dead. Full article here.

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This dude really has some problems, or an obsession.

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Dude does headstand on a basketball

(not sure why, but this dude just cracks me up. I mean, seriously, he took the time to film this. I'm sure it's hard, pretty funny stuff)

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Dude attempts to discharge old bullets with a hammer and screwdriver. Hilarity ensues. Sort of.

Damion M. Mosher, 18, had been discharging .223-caliber rounds by placing them in a steel vice, putting a screwdriver on the primer, and striking the screwdriver with a hammer, police said.

The round went about a half-inch into his abdomen, police said. Mosher was treated at Glens Falls Hospital and was released, police said. Police said Mosher told them he was trying to empty the rounds so he could return the brass casings for scrap. He had set off approximately 100 rounds before being struck, police said. Full article here.

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Believe it or not, this is Jessica Simpson. I think.

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This girl has a message for the U.S. Troops

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High School students shove rotting calf carcass into school AC system

Custodians and building maintenance staff members found the rotting carcass of a calf shoved into a ventilation pipe at the High School Tuesday. “It was decayed. It was part of a dead calf,” Delta’s Director of School and Community Relations John Jones said Thursday.

Five students were identified, three of whom were said to have actually participated in the mischief. The three have been suspended and all five reportedly agreed to pay restitution. Full article here.

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Owner decides, 'hmm-- lets vacuum clean our cat'.

(WTF?, seriously?, I guess this is one way to clean your cat)

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Your tuition at work.

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Truck runs over dude's head, helmet crushed, he's fine

A white paneled delivery truck ran over a student's head and, except for a concussion, he wasn't hurt.

Ryan Lipscomb, 26, said he was riding his bicycle pretty fast down the East Isthmus Bike Path where it parallels Eastwood Drive on Madison's east side just before 3 p.m. Eastwood had a green light, so the crosswalk for the bike path showed a white walk sign, Lipscomb said.

He saw the large truck, the kind that usually makes deliveries to offices, coming down Eastwood, preparing to make a right turn onto Division Street. Lipscomb said he could tell the truck wasn't going to stop. So Lipscomb slammed on his brakes, flipping his bike and throwing himself into the street. He landed right at the intersection of Eastwood and Division. The truck ran over his head.

"I didn't see it coming, but I sure felt it roll over my head. It feels really strange to have a truck run over your head." His helmet, a Giro, was crushed, but Lipscomb's head was fine. Full article here.

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There's a party in Sweden's pants!

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[snl skit] Weekend Update: Jeannie Darcy

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'Reverse Alarm Clock' keeps the kids in bed so you can party

via http://engadget.com:

Three cheers for Professor John Zimmerman, who has invented a device that lets parents sleep in late and put the kids to bed early on those long summer days. Zimmerman, of Carnegie Mellon's School of Design and Human-Computer Interaction Institute, designed the so-called 'Reverse Alarm Clock' to give the tykes a visual representation of their expected schedule; when the clock's 'Sky Display' shows a sun, young children know they're free to roam about the house, but when a moon and stars appear, they'd better not get out of bed lest the boogie monster devour them whole. So far the system -- which uses a parent-set sunrise and moonset calculator, and also features a "Treasure Chest Music Selector" to pleasantly awaken your own little treasures -- doesn't seem to be commercially available, which is kind of a shame, because we know more than a few people who would love to trick their tiny terrors into bedtime at five o'clock on the daily.

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