Thursday, April 12, 2007

I can only imagine how pissed this guy was.

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What not to do when taking a sobriety test:

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Overheard on the streets of New York:

Nine-year-old boy on cell: It's not that I don't understand your vision, I just don't agree with it.
-Bus stop, 79th & 5th

Teen chick on cell: Yeah, he's a total dickwad. But I've got to go -- I'm going to break up with him right now.
Boy walking with her: Me? Fuck you, bitch.
-23rd & 6th

Toddler in stroller: Step one, cut a hole in the box... Step two, put your junk in the box! Step three, make her open the box!
-Dressing room, Bloomingdale's

Middle school boy: Yo, you ever seen that show Sex and the City on HBO?
Three friends: No.
Middle school boy: I thought there'd be mad sex on it. There wasn't any! They should call that show 'White Bitches Talking.'
-Brooklyn Middle School

Inquisitive teen: What happened?
Firefighter: The blob. Came out of the sewer. Went up some girl's cooch.
-Manhole explosion, East Village

Seven-year-old: I want to take a year off.
Dad: You are not taking a year off.
Seven-year-old: But I want to party.
Dad: You cannot take a year off to party!
-83rd & Park

via

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A good sign you should clean your apartment

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Dude loses his artificial leg while stealing ATM

Gregory Daniels was nimble enough to help steal a 1,500-pound ATM from a Pomona market.

But when it came time to run for it, the 48-year-old didn't have a leg to stand on. Then police cornered a pickup truck with two men they say yanked an ATM from the Pomona Ranch Market on North Garey Avenue early Tuesday, they found Daniels on the ground.

His prosthetic leg had fallen off.

Tuesday, he was greeted by police who told them they had good news and bad news.

The bad news was the broken window.


The good news was the ATM had been found, along with a prosthetic leg. Full article here.

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Hitler Ringtones? What exactly would that sound like?

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Dude drives motorcycle while standing up? Holy sh*t.

(watch him when he dodges the car)

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Driving go-carts while drinking beer and leading police on a chase while driving drunk.

Authorities in western Colorado are looking for a man they say led them on a chase and then caused an accident -- while he was driving a go cart through town.

Police say the man and a young boy were driving the go cart on the streetswhen officers tried to stop him because he was holding a beer. They say the man then tried to escape by driving around buildings and in and out of alleys.

The man reportedly caused an accident when he pulled onto one street, and made a car swerve and hit something. It wasn't clear what the car hit but it wasn't another vehicle. There were no injuries.

The man then left the boy in the go-cart and took off running. Police think they know who the man is and they're waiting to see if he turns himself in. Officers say they found tools in the go-cart they believe were used in burglaries.
The suspect faces several charges, including reckless endangerment, vehicular eluding, child abuse and possession of burglary tools. Article here.

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A map of the U.S. illustrating 'single men' and 'single women'

(click to enlarge)

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American Idol sex tape, 'nastiest I've ever seen'

Olivia Mojica, a top 24 contestant on Season Two of "American Idol," has a sex tape that will be released soon, sources tell TMZ.

We're told the tape is "very explicit" and features 40 minutes of "smoking hot sex." One source who says he has seen the tape put it this way -- "It's the nastiest tape I've ever seen."
We're told the tape was shot with her boyfriend, but we don't know when. A website featuring a preview of the tape will launch soon, similar to the site created specifically for Kim Kardashian's sex tape.

Mojica was 18 at the time of her appearance on "American Idol." Lately, she has been singing with the East coast rock band, The Watchdogs. Source.

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Nacy Cartwright, the voice of 'Bart Simpson'

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A pink BMW x3? Seriously?

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17-year-old girl runs escort service on Cragslist

A teenager once arrested alongside her mother in a prostitution case has been accused of running an escort service out of her suburban Chicago home using the popular Web site Craigslist.

Kimberly Petersen, 17, was arrested after detectives doing a routine search of the site’s classified boards found one that included an offer to “enjoy a beautiful blonde” for $250 an hour and pictures of a smiling woman in lingerie.

An undercover detective who called the number in the ad and arrived at Peterson’s home was quoted a $300 rate for a 27-year-old woman to perform a sex act, Hillside Police Chief Joseph Lukaszek said.

Petersen was released on bond late last week after being arrested and charged with a misdemeanor, police said. Heidi Mudge, 27, was charged with prostitution. Read the full article here.

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