Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Shakira - Hips Don't Lie (video remix)

Butt/Ass reformulator cushion?

Product Description: ...designed by a team of plastic surgeons from Taiwan to enhance the shape of your buttocks and to make them appear more toned and tight. These doctors concluded that body pressure on a curved memory-foam pillow can, after an allotted period of time, reshape your bottom. Use our memory foam cushion to curve your bottom just the way you want it to be shaped. You'll be on your way to attaining that starlet figure with the Bottom Reformulator. It's been vigorously tested and is proven to work. You'll see results within 90 days. If you're not satisfied, you can get a full refund within that time.

This cushion (that probably doesn't work) is $30, and you can buy one here.

Jennifer Love Hewitt without make-up = different

Dude urinates on beer cans in gas station?

A Miami man was jailed July 7 after he allegedly urinated in the beer cooler at a local convenience store.

Michael Wayne Giles, 23, was charged in Ottawa County with public intoxication, interfering with a 911 call, resisting arrest and assault and battery.

According to the store clerk, Giles opened a cooler in the store and urinated on the beer inside. He then allegedly grabbed the phone when employees attempted to contact authorities. The clerk said he also injured another employee who attempted to intervene.

The injured employee reportedly received an ankle injury and suffered multiple bruises and contusions as a result of Giles' actions, according to authorities.

Giles was released on a $3,300 bond and scheduled to appear Monday for arraignment. When Giles failed to appear in court, a warrant was issued and his bond was forfeited and increased to $6,600. He appeared in court Thursday with attorney Erik Johnson and pleaded not guilty. Article here.

New Porsche Released: 911 Targa

November 2006, Porsche will be offering dealers two new variants of the eleven series at the same time – the 911 Targa 4 and the 911 Targa 4S. Never before seen: for the very first time, the Targa models will be available exclusively with permanent all-wheel drive and a body that is 44 millimeters wider at the rear.

The most striking feature of both of these elegant sports cars is the large glass roof and folding rear window. The Targa 4 is powered by the familiar flat-six engine, delivering 239 kW (325 bhp) of power from 3.6 liters. It accelerates the car from 0 to 100 km/h in 5.3 seconds and reaches a top speed of 280 km/h. The more powerful S variant features a 3.8-liter engine producing 261 kW (355 bhp). This model sprints to 100 km/h in 4.9 seconds, and has a top speed of 288 km/h. Source.

Daughter put used condom in her mouth?

Claiming that their young daughter discovered a used condom in a Las Vegas hotel bed and then put the rubber in her mouth, a Scottish couple is suing Caesar's Palace for negligence and emotional distress.

According to a lawsuit filed July 13 in Clark County District Court, five-year-old Caitlin Kilcoyne found the condom during a July 2004 Sin City visit with her parents Gerald and Jacqueline. Caitlin "found a used condom in the made up bed in her room...and placed the condom in her mouth," notes the complaint

The Kilcoynes contend that, following the incident, they incurred expenses for medical treatment, hospitalization, x-rays, drugs, and "evaluation and treatment of Caitlin's condition." The lawsuit does not indicate what, if any, lasting damage was caused to the child. The complaint, which seeks in excess of $10,000 in damages, claims that the family has suffered "shock, horror, fear, anxiety, and distress." Article here.

This costume = ‘the shocker’

Theives steal 14-foot inflatable sheep?

America's Mattress co-owner Jim Sather is left puzzled after a rustler stole Serta Mattresses' inflatable 14-foot sheep from their store here.

"I can't figure out what someone would do with a 14-foot sheep," Sather said. "It can't go in your basement and if it's in your back yard, your neighbor will notice. If it's target practice, it only lasts once."
All the thief or thieves left was a handwritten note at the scene of the crime that read: "For the sheep, bring peace to the earth."

Sather said their mascot is missed. "He's the granddaddy of all sheep and there's a whole flock that will miss him," Sather said. The sheep is labeled with a No. 1 and is worth an estimated $3,500.

Serta produces "plushie" toy sheep replicas and in its commercials, a flock of unemployed white sheep roam neighborhoods seeking a home without a Serta mattress. Article here.

Revenge using Pug Bowling?

Man blinds his wife in the eye with carrot

A 46-year-old man is accused of assaulting his wife with a carrot, causing her to lose sight in one eye. Roderick Vecsey is charged with second-degree assault and disorderly conduct.

Pamela Vecsey, 46, underwent six hours of surgery after being hit in the left eye with the vegetable Saturday night, but doctors were not able to restore her vision, prosecutor Stephanie Damiani said.

The couple was arguing when Roderick Vecsey tossed the carrot, Damiani said. Roderick Vecsey told Judge Patrick Carroll that it was a terrible accident, and was advised to remain silent.

The judge set a hearing for Thursday. Vecsey is currently free after posting $500 bond. Article here.

Weiner Dog

via

Drunk dude uses golf cart to destroy carport

Meet Edmund Gaston. The 79-year-old Floridian is facing a felony rap for allegedly using his golf cart to destroy his girlfriend's carport.

According to a Lady Lake Police Department arrest affidavit (a copy of which you'll find here), Gaston backed his "Club Car" cart into a support pole before driving forward and knocking down an entire wall of the structure.

The July 16 incident caused about $2000 in damage to the home of Gaston's female friend. When cops pulled over his golf cart, they found two bottles of vodka, one of which was open. Gaston, who was busted in May for battering the same woman, was charged with criminal mischief and leaving the scene of a crash. Article here.

What the hell is going on here?

Man puts boa snake in mailbox as a joke?

A man's idea of a joke, putting a pet 6-foot boa constrictor in his mailbox to startle a mail carrier, could bring him time behind bars.

"It was an incredibly stupid practical joke that wasn't funny," said James R. Mell, 31, an auto mechanic from the Detroit suburb of Farmington Hills.

Mell put the snake in his mailbox July 7, The Detroit News said. "I thought it was funny. Looking back on it, it isn't, and it wasn't," he said.

On Monday, federal prosecutors charged Mell with obstructing the delivery of the U.S. mail. The charge carries a penalty of up to six months in prison.

Postal carrier Nakeema Anderson was making her rounds when she opened Mell's mailbox and faced the snake, court records say. Anderson reported observing a white male in the driveway laughing," said a report from U.S. postal inspector Andrew Gottfried.
Mell wrote a letter apologizing to Anderson and said he hoped that would settle the matter. "It was something stupid that a 10-year-old would do, and I'm sorry," Mell said. The pet snake is not poisonous, does not bite and has tiny teeth, the newspaper said. "It will only strike at something that it can actually eat," Mell said. Article here.

What a shit head

Rock-Solid Reasons to Get Drunk Tonight:

My picks from the complete 40 list here:

2. The brewing industry alone employs 1.7 million people and that’s a lot of mouths to feed.

3. Bad ass nicknames like “Chuggybear,” “The Alabama Hamma,” “Pukey McPukerson”
are not awarded to people who stay home to do laundry.

6. Word on the street is the booze has been trash talking you all day.

8. Dude, after what you did last time, you gotta go back out there and explain yourself.

15. Your friends can’t have a good time without you.

16. Your friends might have a good time without you.

21. That feisty barmaid might finally, you know, pick up on what you’re laying down.

25. You gotta figure the odds of getting thrown in the drunk tank twice in one month are practically negligible.

26. If you don’t hunt the booze, the booze will surely hunt you.

The 'Devil of the Tour de France'? WTF?

Riders come face-to-face with the self-appointed "Devil of the Tour de France" during Stage 10.

There are giant yellow jackets in Alabama

To the bafflement of insect experts, gigantic yellow jacket nests have started turning up in old barns, unoccupied houses, cars and underground cavities across the southern two-thirds of Alabama.

Specialists say it could be the result of a mild winter and drought conditions, or multiple queens forcing worker yellow jackets to enlarge their quarters so the queens will be in separate areas. But experts haven't determined exactly what's behind the surprisingly large nests.

Auburn University entomologists, who say they've never seen the nests so large, have been fielding calls about the huge nests from property owners from Dothan up to Sylacauga and over into west-central Alabama's Black Belt.
At one site in Barbour County, the nest was as large as a Volkswagen Beetle, said Andy McLean, an Orkin pesticide service manager in Dothan who helped remove it from an abandoned barn about a month ago.

The largest nest Ray has inspected this year filled the interior of a weathered 1955 Chevrolet parked in a rural Elmore County barn. That nest was about the size of a tire in the rear floor seven weeks ago, but quickly spread to fill the entire vehicle, the property owner, Harry Coker, said. Four satellite nests around it have gotten into the eaves of the barn, about 300 yards from his home.

Yellow jackets, often confused with bees, may visit flowers for sugar, but unlike bees, yellow jackets are carnivorous, eating insects, carrion and picnic food, according to scientists.
"They were able to find food to colony through the winter," Ray said in a telephone interview. Article here.