Thursday, March 09, 2006

Damn, tossing salad is expensive...

Man fills up his pool, gets $6,000 bill!

A Brevard County man loves his brand-new swimming pool, but the cost of filling it has sent him off the deep end. He just received a water bill for more than $6,000.

It takes 11,000 gallons to fill Hugh Chin's pool. But the city of Palm Bay said, in December, when Chin filled the pool, he used one million gallons and they sent him a huge bill.

Chin had the pool built in early December, filled it with water in late December, and then got his water bill. "I have to look at it over and over. And I said, '$6,620?'"
Palm Bay Utilities said that's how much Chin owes for using one million gallons. "You're talking about 100 average-size swimming pools. That's a million gallons of water," said Utilities Department Director Jason Yarborough.

He still realizes he might get stuck with that bill, so he has a bit of advice for anybody putting in a new pool. "Make sure you get them to read the meter before you start filling and read the meter after the filling. Then you really see what the hell went on," he said.

The city has already given Chin a break. They have re-billed him at the lowest rate possible. It cut the debt in half, but it's still more than $3,000.

Damn, sucks to be you Mr. Hugh Chin. However, if you can afford a pool that big... $6k is nothing. Suck it up. Article here.

OK, everybody push together on three!

Donald Trump wants to date his daughter?

Donald Trump shocked "The View" yesterday when "The Apprentice" boss announced that, if he weren't her father, he'd like to date daughter Ivanka.

"who are you, Woody Allen?" "View" co-host Joy Behar stammered.
Trump's questionable comments came while he and Ivanka were guests on the ABC show promoting Ivanka's first appearance on "The Apprentice" last night as a boardroom adviser.

It all began when Trump was asked how he'd react if Ivanka, a former teen model, posed for Playboy.

"If she posed, it would be fine. But it depends on what's inside the magazine," Trump answered.

"Although she does have a very nice figure," he said. "I've said if she wasn't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her."

The co-hosts and audience erupted in laughter and catcalls at the comment, but the subject was quickly changed to Trump's famous feud with Martha Stewart. After the show, Trump told The Post that he was only joking around.

Just joking around huh Donald? There's a little truth behind everything you say... you sick rich bastard. Article here.

Failure

That iPod you have is outdated, again.

If you’re a tech-gadget dork like I am- you’ve probably heard the rumors of a new iPod that is going to be released soon. These rumors are true.

Check out these photos below of a new ‘touch screen video iPod’. Yeah- how uber cool is that!?! Supposedly, these things will be on sale on April 1st (to celebrate Apple’s 30th birthday). No word yet on how much it'll cost. So- don’t catch yourself (or a friend) buying an iPod just yet… your going to want this thing. I know I do.
(pictures via macshrine)

Man found with pants down and a goat?

An Arizona man who was arrested this weekend after being found in a neighbor's barn with his pants down and a gray lamb at his side.

Leroy Johnson, a deputy chief with the Mesa Fire Department, was nabbed shortly after the neighbor's teenage daughter watched him drag the animal into the family barn Saturday afternoon.

When later confronted, the 52-year-old Johnson, who apparently had been drinking, told the neighbor (who has the improbable name of Alan Goats), "You caught me Alan, I tried to fuck your sheep."

You can see a detailed Maricopa County Sheriff's Office report here. Johnson, was charged with trespassing, disorderly conduct, and public sexual indecency. Along with releasing its report on the incident, the sheriff's office provided TSG with evidence photos of the poor lamb--who is pictured below--and the alleged scene of the crime.

Uh, you gotta at least chuckle when reading this article, I mean come one- he was f*ckin’ a sheep?!? Read more about this here.

Something you don't normally see:

A etiquette joke that will make you chuckle

Michael, If you were on a date, having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the rest room?" the teacher asked.

"Just a minute, I have to go pee," he said.

The teacher replied,"That would be rude and impolite.

What about you Paul, how would you say it?

"I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back."

The teacher responded,"That's better, but it's still not very mannerly to say the word 'bathroom' at the table."

"And you Johnny, are you able to use your intelligence for once and show us your good manners."

I would say: "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment, I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner."

The teacher fainted.

[via Bits&JoeP]

Mirror, mirror on the wall...

50 fascinating celebrity facts:

47. Matthew Perry is missing part of his middle finger on his right hand due to a door-shutting accident.
43. Even though she appears in ads for Tommy Hilfiger's True Star fragrances, Beyonce is reportedly allergic to perfume.
29. Tom Cruise admits that he still does the Risky Business underwear dance when he's at home alone. He calls it his "dance of freedom".
28. As a child, Jim Carrey wore tap shoes to bed just in case his parents needed cheering up in the middle of the night.
22. Comic actor Jack Black is the son of rocket scientists. His mother worked on the Hubble telescope, and his father worked on "some stuff that i can't tell you about," Jack says.
19. Paris Hilton has size 11 feet! "All those super cute shoes like Guccis and Monolos look like clown shoes on me"
17. Madonna is related to both Gwen Stefani and Celine Dion.
01. Brad Pitt belonged to the Key Club and the Forensics Club in High School, and before he became an actor he supported himself as a chauffeur, a furniture mover and a costumed mascot for the restaurant, El Pollo Loco.


Click here to see the complete list. FYI #1: I went to Brad Pitt's high school, and they still have Key Club. However, Key Club isn't a club where you collect keys- it's basically like a community service/good deed club. FYI #2: I was in Key Club.

Yao Ming and William Huang together in one room = killer celebrity photo-op!

Drunk man sneaks on runway of airport?

An intoxicated man sneaked onto the tarmac at Midway Airport over the weekend and forced the brief closing of a runway -- prompting an investigation into the security breach, city officials said Tuesday.

Mark Mechniek, 22, was charged with reckless conduct and trespassing to airport property after passing through a security gate at 55th and Laramie on Saturday afternoon, officials said.

Investigators think he walked or ran through the gate undetected while a vehicle was leaving. A Southwest Airlines pilot spotted Mechniek standing between two runways and alerted the control tower. Mechniek was arrested six minutes later at 4:23 p.m.

A city Aviation Department security officer posted at the gate during the breach has been placed on paid administrative leave pending an investigation, Abrams said. The officer has been on the job since July 2001.

A Southwest pilot said Mechniek would not have posed much of a threat to a Boeing 737 unless he was carrying a heavy weapon capable of shooting down an aircraft. The bigger threat was to Mechniek, the pilot said.

"The blast from the jet would blow you over like a leaf, especially if you were 20 to 30 feet away," he said.

Yeah, so what happened to that whole drastic increase in security/ policies/ process at airport? This story is comforting. Read the full article here.

Kid Rock is in love with a porn star.

F. First is reporting that Kid Rock has fallen in love and is dating a porn star. Kid allegedly hooked up with hooker/porn star Brianna Banks and is said to be head of heels in love with this porn star.
A source said "They had an immediate chemistry as soon as they met."

Surprised by this? You shouldn’t be. If you ask me, just a publicity stunt to catapult his career back in the news (he’s got a new CD out soon).

[via DarkHat]

A jet-powered VW bug... why not right?

Some dude wanted to ‘pimp’ his VW Beetle with a jet engine. Which of course sparks the reaction, uh- well- why not right?

But he also wanted to be able to drive it on the open road, rather than just on a closed airport runway surrounded by fire engines and EMT crews.

His solution? A dual-engine vehicle, with a normal VW motor for day-to-day transportation, and a GE T58-8F helicopter turboshaft engine converted to run as a jet.

My guess is you probably don’t want to be caught behind him when he hits the switch on the jet… this is damn cool, if you've got time and money to blow.

[via engadget]

Woman bit by 500 bed bugs, sues hotel

A Chicago woman is suing a hotel for $20 million after waking up one morning with more than 500 bed bug bites.
"My body felt as if it was on fire. I just wanted to tear it off,” Leslie Fox said.

Leslie Fox, a 54-year-old bookings agent, says that after four nights at the 700-room Nevele Hotel in Ellenville, New York last July, she awoke to find red, itchy welts all over her body. "I had no idea what was happening to me. We noticed the blood on the bed. I became very upset and alarmed,” she said.

She and her husband – who was also bitten, but not so badly – tore the bed apart and found a swarm of bugs under the linens.

When the couple reported to hotel officials that their room was infested, the officials offered two free nights but Fox and Cohen declined, Schnurman said, because they were just itching to leave.

Bed bugs are bloodsuckers, but they are not known to transmit disease. Their bite is painless, and it can take up to nine days for welts to appear. Redness and irritation fade after several days, but one dermatologist says each person reacts differently.


Fox, who has seen five doctors, says she’s still suffering. She says she’s scarred, stressed every time she sleeps in a hotel and afraid she may have unknowingly carried home bedbug eggs that may still hatch.

Damn! This sucks! But if she gets the $200 million… that'll be awesome! I’d be willing to get bitten by 500 bed bugs for that kind of money. When you think about it, it’s kind of like Fear Factor, except with a few legal loop-holes you have to jump through to get your money. Read the full article here.

Photoworthy

Do you have beautiful women condition?

Defined as "beautiful women", each year this surprisingly common phobia causes countless people needless distress.

To add insult to an already distressing condition, most beautiful women phobia therapies take months or years and sometimes even require the patient to be exposed repeatedly to their fear. Beautiful women phobia can be eliminated with the right methods and just 10 hours of commitment by the phobic individual.

Known by a number of names - Caligynephobia, Venustraphobia, and Fear of Beautiful Women being the most common - the problem often significantly impacts the quality of life. It can cause panic attacks and keep people apart from loved ones and business associates. Symptoms typically include shortness of breath, rapid breathing, irregular heartbeat, sweating, nausea, and overall feelings of dread, although everyone experiences beautiful women phobia in their own way and may have different.

I had no idea this existed. So they're right in saying everyone at one time or another has a form of ‘beautiful women phobia’. However, you never think it’s a problem/condition- you just think you’re a damn jack-ass for saying/doing something stupid in front of a beautiful woman. Click here to go to a website that can cure you of this phobia, starting at $1497 and up. No really, that’s what it says on their site. Damn expensive huh?