Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Never lend your car to a woman

Overheard on the streets of New York:

Guy: So you went out with this great guy, and then he just told you he's a girl?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: I just love having these crazy conversations in the elevator, and everyone thinks you're insane.
[Doors open. Everyone gets out]
Guy: This is your floor? Oh no! Those people are your neighbors!
-Elevator, 96th & Columbus

Guy: Hey, I'm lookin' for a book.
Lady behind the counter: Um, okay. Did you have any particular one in mind.
Guy, laughing: No. Hell no. I don't fuckin' read. I'm just lookin' for something I can take over to Central Park so I can get hit on by chicks who think I'm smart and shit.
Lady behind counter: Try Nietzsche.
-Barnes & Noble, Broadway between 82nd & 83rd

Small child, trying a Sprite: I don't like it.
Dad: If you don't like the taste, just spit it out.
Mom: I've heard that one before.
-33rd & 7th

Drunk guy: Hi, my name's Bobby Flamer.
Girl: Haha, there's no way your last name is really Flamer.
Drunk guy: No, seriously, look at my ID.
Girl, looking at ID: This says your name is Eric Flamer.
Drunk guy: Yeah. I lied.
-Bar None, 3rd Ave between 12th & 13th

2-year-old golf phenom Brayden Bozak?

Check out this amazing video of 2 year old golf wonderkid Brandon Bozak taking driving practice on Good Morning America. What kind of baby steroids do his parents have him on? Will he end up being the next Tiger Woods? via
(click image to watch video)

You think you can chug a beer pretty fast?

According to the Guiness Book of World Records, Steven Petrosino drank 1 liter of beer (33 ounces) in 1.3 seconds on June 22, 1977 at the Gingerbreadman in Carlise, PA, a 56% improvement over the previous world record record set several years earlier by Peter Dowdeswell of England (2.3 seconds for 1 liter). via

This is so wrong it’s not even funny

Driver breaks legs of man who leaned on SUV

When a stranger leaned against his car, and then refused to move, a motorist became so angry he ran into the man's legs outside a laundry mat, authorities said.

The victim suffered multiple leg fractures as a result of the incident.

The incident began when the driver backed his vehicle into a parking space next to the laundry. The victim, 24-year-old Jose Garcia of Oneco, reportedly leaned on the truck, and didn't move when the driver yelled at him, the report said.

The driver revved his engine and backed up a bit, but the victim still refused to move. Then, according to the report, the driver pulled forward several feet before backing up rapidly. The vehicle jumped the curb, crushing both of the victim's legs. It continued reversing until it rammed into the wall of the laundry.

The victim was pinned against the building; he suffered fractures and cuts to both his legs below the knee and was taken to Manatee Memorial Hospital.

The driver sped off. The laundry suffered between $2,500 and $3,500 in damage, the report said. Authorities are looking for the suspect vehicle. The suspect could face a felony charge of aggravated battery with a motor vehicle. Article here.

Double-decker Beer Pong? Freakin' awesome!

22 month old kid can water ski? Whoa?

Just when most toddlers go down for a nap, one child from Menomonie, Wisconsin is all about the wake.

Cole Marsolek is turning heads with his water skiing skills because he's only 22 months old. His mother took him out on the water with her earlier this summer and he started water skiing by himself two days ago. "If he didn't like it or didn't feel comfortable, then we weren't going to push him, but he popped right up and loves it," says Lissa Marsolek.
Cole's parents say they met while racing snowmobiles and they're not surprised their son already enjoys the outdoors. Article here.

Aaaannndd this is going to hurt...

Karmasheetra = sex guidance by shapes

Product Description:

Karmasheetra guides its owner to try those positions you’ve always wanted to, no more awkward moments where you’re not quite sure where to put those hands and feet.

Some say the Karmasheetra is the lost linen of an ancient Indian civilization, linked to the karma sutra, which will enable the user to master the subtle art of sensual love making and allow you and your partner to participate in sheer unadulterated pleasure.

... although, some say it’s just a white sheet covered in pink and blue hands and feet. Click here to buy one for $45. via

Microsoft demo of Vista... fails miserably...

Janet Jackson loves sex with Jermain Dupri

Janet Jackson has revealed Jermaine Dupri is the best lover she's ever had. The sexy singer - who has been dating the record producer for more than five years - is overjoyed she has finally met someone who can cope with her high sex drive.

She said: "I feel like I finally met my match. In relationships, it was always the guy telling me: 'Okay, hold on, wait a minute.' "I'd ask my girlfriends: 'Aren't we supposed to be the ones that say: 'Not tonight I've got a headache?' I thought something's not right here.
"But with Jermaine I don't have to say anything. He knows I'm ready any time, any place."

Earlier this month, Janet admitted Jermaine was her Mr Right. The 40-year-old star, sister to eccentric singer Michael Jackson, insisted after years of fruitless searching she had finally found her soulmate. Janet - who has two failed marriages behind her - said at the time: "You know he's my other half, my better half. I finally got it right." Article here.

Woman born with lobster hands and feet?

Cingular is charging it customers an extra $5?

Cingular Wireless is trying to push nearly 5 million subscribers with older phones to get new handsets so it can devote its entire network to one type of signal.

And starting in September, it will charge them $5 extra each month until they do.
Cingular reported that roughly 92 percent of its 57.3 million customers use phones based on the globally-dominant technology known as GSM. The rest have handsets based on one of two older technologies. Having to carry three different kinds of wireless signals leaves less room for Cingular to connect calls and provide data services to its much larger group of GSM customers. Article here.