Thursday, March 02, 2006

A message of desperation:

Guy bites girlfriends face off, gets 15 years

Earlier this year you may remember a story I posted about a guy who bit a chunk of his girlfriends face off, then spit it out on the sidewalk. Well he finally got convicted today. He has been sentenced to 15 years in prison.

Gareth Whyte, 27, could have gotten 25 years, but the judge said that he had no previous felonies and that plastic surgery had repaired most of Dorothy Pritchett's face.

Prosecutors said that as the couple argued outside their home May 8, Whyte bit Pritchett under her left eye, sinking his teeth through nerves and muscle.

During the trial, a prosecutor showed the jury a jar containing the flesh, and Pritchett testified that she still feels a burning sensation and numbness.

"When I was bitten and my flesh was spat at me, more than my face was damaged," Pritchett said in a statement read by a prosecutor. "The compassion and love I had in me was killed. My courage and self-esteem was taken away."

Wow, just like the first time I heard about this story… I think this is f*cked up. How hard do you have to try to actually ‘bite’ a piece of someone else’s face off?
Article here.

Barry Bonds is a drag queen

Dressed in drag portraying Paula Abdul of "American Idol", San Francisco Giants' left fielder Barry Bonds, center, participates in a rookie hazing spoof of the hit television show beside pitcher Jeff Fassero, left, as Simon Cowell, and second baseman Ray Durham, right, as judge Randy Jackson prior to a Major League baseball spring training workout.

G-string sales are down...

The bottom could be falling out of the thong market, according to the latest figures.

G-string sales are down by 28 per cent in the past two years. But boy shorts are now a big hit with the girls — sales have doubled in 18 months.

Why has it all gone wrong for the thong? People don't like a narrow piece of fabric jamming up their ass? Article here.

Emma Watson like to drink good beer

Looks like Emma Watson... the girl from Harry Potter (she plays Hermione) likes to drink on a good beer every once and a while. I guess since she's 16 now, and she's made 5 movies... she can probably do whatever she wants. Man, she's growing up quick!

Jesus on eBay... again

Well we had the Virgin Mary on a grill cheese, in eggs, in a cheese-it, and pancakes. Where’s Jesus now? He’s moved on from food onto… a piece of sheet metal.

And you too can own this spiritual message since it is for sale on Ebay.

The current price for the latest word from God will set you back over a grand, since the current price is $1025. I’m not sure if this really looks like Jesus. To me- it looks a little bit more like Pete Sampras. But then again- Pete Sampras on a piece of sheetmetal probably wouldn’t sell as well. So it's Jesus. Click here to see the actual eBay listing.
[via Lycos50]

I wish I had a lizard, they're cool

Lindsay Lohan, I can see your hoo-ha's

Lindsay Lohan showed up at the 10th Annual GM Fashion Show last night wearing a black toga and the only good thing to come out of it was her right boob.

Yep, that’s right. The celebrities worst nightmare… the infamous nipple slip. Even though she’s got a drug problem, and has a skeleton body figure that can barely hold its own weight... it's a side-boob flash nonetheless.

Watch out for those elbows, though. They appear to be sharp enough to slice right through your monitor. Click here to see the picture (NSFW).

Teenagers steal and crash a plane...

Two 14-year-old boys escaped with minor injuries after crash-landing a small plane that authorities say they stole from an airport hangar.

The single-engine Mooney M20C belonged to one of the boys' parents, and the pair was trying to run away from their homes, said Cindy Beavers, spokeswoman for the San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department.

"There was a disagreement between the boys and their parents, and (the boys) decided to run away," she said. The boys took the plane from Big Bear Airport Sunday afternoon, authorities said. The airport has no control tower and pilots are not required to check in with anyone before taking off, said Garry Dokter, the airport's general manager.

Two pilots saw the boys taxiing and called the plane's owner and the Sheriff's Department. The plane ditched in Joshua Tree National Park between 5:30 and 6 p.m. The boys suffered minor injuries and were treated at the scene by rangers, according to park officials.

Officials said they didn't know why the plane went down but speculated it ran out of gas. Although neither boy has a pilot's license, the one who piloted the plane flew regularly with his father, Dokter said.

The boys were arrested for investigation of airplane theft and burglary, Beavers said. They were booked into San Bernardino County Juvenile Hall on Monday.

Whoa. And I thought I was rebellious when I was a kid. Article here.

2 reasons why I miss college

Meet Rob, the IT Gigolo...

Q: So, how long have you been a tech-support manwhore?
A few months. A friend was having trouble connecting to the Internet, this really attractive girl, and the idea just popped into my head: "Wow, it would be really nice if I could get sex for this." I placed an ad on Craigslist that read, "WILL FIX COMPUTERS FOR SEXUAL FAVORS," and I've had an overwhelming number of responses.
Q: So, this scam actually works?
Yeah. Most of the calls I get are for spyware removal and viruses. One girl didn't even wait for me to finish the virus scan—she just grabbed me and gave me a blow job.

Read the full article here.

Cute? Or just plain wrong?

OnStar system leads Police to Cocaine

Ralph A. Gomez, 38, was being held in the St. Johns County Jail Wednesday on $15,000 bond on charges of possession of an illegal narcotic within 1,000 feet of a church and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Gomez was showing off his OnStar system in his Cadillac Escalade to his girlfriend, but the volume was set so low that he couldn't hear the OnStar operator. OnStar comes on many new General Motors vehicles and allows a customer to contact an OnStar representative in an emergency or to get directions. If there is no response, OnStar contacts police.

That's what happened with Gomez on Friday night, Tom Clements, a spokesman for the St. Augustine Police Department, said Wednesday. When police located Gomez' car, they determined there was no problem. But Clements said cocaine was clearly visible on the car's center console.

In addition to seizing $1,900 in the case, the Cadillac equipped with the OnStar system was also seized, Clements said.

Sucks for this guy huh? And for the record, I still think OnStar is one of the stupidest gimmicks created by an auto company. It is a pointless piece of technology sold to the public to comfort this obsession America has with ‘feeling safe’. But that’s a whole ‘nother story that I don’t even want to begin to get into. Article here.