Wednesday, August 15, 2007

You think your job is bad?

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Funny Jeopardy moment... 'what is a hoe?'

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Probably the worst way to die. Ever.

A man who lived in his own “zoo” of lizards and insects was fatally bitten by a pet black widow spider — then eaten by the other creepy-crawlies.

Police broke in to Mark Voegel’s apartment to find spider Bettina along with 200 others, several snakes, a gecko lizard called Helmut and several thousand termites had gorged on his body.

Neighbours alerted police after becoming alarmed by the stink. And horrified officers were met by a nightmare scene. A police spokesman said: “It was like a horror movie. His corpse was over the sofa.

“Giant webs draped him, spiders were all over him. They were coming out of his nose and his mouth.

“There was everything there one could imagine in the world of reptiles. “Larger pieces of flesh torn off by the lizards were scooped up and taken back to the webs of tarantulas and other bird-eating spiders.” » Article here

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Damn, this is one long escalator.

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Dude angry at god, crashes into church

A man told authorities he crashed his pickup truck into a Crescent Beach church because he was mad at God. The crash caused several thousand dollars in damage.

Deputies found Thomas Kyle Nursey sitting in his F-150 Ford pickup when they arrived at the Catholic Church early Tuesday morning. Officials said the church's door was demolished. A St. Johns Sheriff's Office spokesman said Nursey may have been drinking, but not enough to severely impair his driving.

Nursey told deputies he was Catholic, but did not explain why he was angry at God. Nursey was charged with felony criminal mischief. He was released from jail Tuesday afternoon on a $500 bond. » Article here

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Dude this is one pissed-off Chihuahua.

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Cops silence woman yelling witch chants by her bonfire

A 42-year-old woman who describes herself as a Wiccan faces charges of disorderly conduct and resisting arrest after neighbors complained she was disturbing them with chants around a bonfire she had built 10 feet from her home.

Capt. Mike Babe said Brenna Barney told police they were infringing on her religious beliefs since she was performing a ritual under the new moon.

Neighbors called police shortly after midnight Tuesday and, after an officer arrived, he heard the woman yelling in the backyard and found her wearing headphones, a T-shirt and underwear, the captain said.

An officer tried to get her attention by shining a flashlight on her but she continued yelling her chants, Babe said. He said Barney at one point poured lighter fluid on the fire, in which she was burning rubber car mats and a cooler. Barney refused to cooperate with police and was belligerent, and her breath smelled of alcohol, Babe added. » Article here

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What are you looking at?

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Car on way to brake inspection crashes when brakes fail

A Cadillac DeVille that pulled in for a brake check crashed through the front window when the brakes failed completely.

Longview patrolman Erik Hendrickson said the driver went to Les Schwab because the brakes were "acting strange." The car was pulling into a parking slip when the brake pedal "went to the floor," Hendrickson explained. The car kept moving until the driver "threw the transmission into park and it finally stopped."

"The entire hood went into the store. Six or eight feet of the car was inside the store," Hendrickson said. » Article here

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[semi-sorta funny] The portopotty 'meeting' prank.

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"Exploding" lawn mower destroys family's home

A resident of Johns Creek north of Atlanta started more than just his lawn mower when he tugged at the machine's pull chord in the garage of his two-story brick home.

The mower exploded, starting a fire that destroyed Danny Fendley's home in the hot, parched conditions Tuesday afternoon. Fendley said the mower backfired and burst into flames.

He tried to put out the fire himself, but he told firefighters it spread to one of his cars and then to the house. His wife didn't help the cause when she tried to toss a can of gasoline away from the fire, but dropped it. Gas spread across the floor of the garage and caught fire.

The flames engulfed the house in less than a minute. The two escaped without serious injury. Fulton County Fire Lieutenant Gregory Chambers says the house is gone. In his words, "There's not even one brick standing." » Article here

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Sweet-16 girl’s dream, a Pink Hummer?

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"This is one twisted made-for-TV movie," says a detective

The case involves a sham marriage proposal to an online escort, an envelope stuffed with cash, and a body in a Minneapolis hotel room.

A Cudahy optometrist was jilted out of $4,000 by a woman who left him at the altar in Las Vegas before he tracked her down in a Minnesota hotel room last week and shot her in the head, according to police and court records.


» Read the full article here

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