Friday, March 17, 2006

You think he knows?

Work sucks, lets watch college basketball

The NCAA men's basketball tournament has begun. And it's a good bet fans are cheering the CBS Sports decision to offer free online viewing.

At the same time, global outplacement firm Challenger, Gray and Christmas said it's unlikely America's bosses are jumping through hoops.

CG&C said companies will see a significant drop-off in worker productivity. It estimates that for every 13.5 minutes workers spend on the Internet watching, the cost to employers in lost wages alone exceeds $237 million.

Over the 16 days of the tournament, the total loss could climb as high as $3.8 billion.

CEO John Challenger suggested employers might want to expand their Internet blockers to include college basketball sites and encourage workers to refrain from watching entire games at their desks. He also suggested keeping a TV in a break room tuned to coverage.

Yeah, why try to fight it…? I mean honestly, people at work are talking about it, so is everyone in high school, college- we should make it a national holiday vacation break for the United States? Who's with me? Article here.

My eyeball just fell out of its socket...

Villanova basketball star Allan Ray had his eyeball literally poked out of its socket by an opposing player in a recent game. Ray has been treating the injury with eye drops, and he planned to meet with doctors to find out if he can play in the first round of the NCAA tournament.

(click image to watch video)

What should you do if your eyeball comes out of your head? Get it put back in, and soon. The longer you remain in this rare condition—known as "globe luxation"—the more strain you'll put on the blood vessels and nerves that connect your eye to the rest of your head.

You should be able to get your eye back in place without serious, long-term damage. (If the ocular muscles tear or if the optic nerve is severed, your outlook won't be as clear.) The treatment for globe luxation is pretty simple: Doctors apply some topical painkillers, hold back your lashes, and poke your eyeball into its socket by pressing on the white part with gloved fingers. (In some cases, they'll use a simple tool like a bent paperclip to shoehorn it back into place.) You might get antibiotics, lubricating drops, or steroids to follow up for a few days while your vision returns to normal. If your doctors can't pop your eye back in—because you've got too much swelling in the socket, for example—they'll give you an eye shield and consider a more invasive procedure.

You could also learn the following technique for popping your eye back in yourself: First direct your gaze downward. Now pinch and pull your upper eyelid with the thumb and index finger of one hand. Lay a finger from your other hand on the top part of your luxated eyeball, taking care to press only on the insensitive white part. While you continue to hold your eyelid up, push your eyeball gently down and back at the same time until it's part of the way in. Then try to look upwards; if everything goes right your eyeball will rotate under the upper lid and back into its socket.

You are now a certified eye-ball popper inner dude. Cool huh? Read the full article here.

Robber puts a milk crate on his head!?!

Security cameras caught a robber on tape at a convenience store in Pelham, Georgia even though he had a milk crate on his head.
Marty Simpson, in the video, is shown standing in front of the cash register, demanding money from the cashier. He has a milk crate on his head as an attempt to hide from surveillance cameras.
Pelham police said his disguise did not give him much coverage.

"At one point while he was in there, he lifted it up over his head like this while he was pointing a gun at her. Then he pulled it back down and went out the store," an officer explained.

Police said they caught Simpson about two hours later robbing another store. He was charged with felony armed robbery, aggravated assault and burglary.

A f*ckin milk crate over his head? Seriously? A f*ckin milk crate over his head? Seriously? A f*ckin milk crate? Seriously? This is too funny. Article here.

A fountain that always has warm water

57% of people don't use their turn signals

The 57 percent of American drivers who say they don't use their turn signals for changing lanes.
In a survey commissioned by Response Insurance, these were the reasons given:

· 42 percent said they don't have time.
· 23 percent said they are too lazy.
· 17 percent said they don't because they forget to turn it off.
· 12 percent said they change lanes to frequently to bother.
· 11 percent said it's not important.
· 8 percent said they don't because others don't.
· 7 percent said not doing it adds to excitement.

The survey also found 62 percent of men leave the turn signal alone when changing lanes; the number was 53 percent for women. Seventy-one percent of drivers ages 18-24 don't signal, but 51 percent of those 55 to 64 do.

These people are weird, I always turn on my turn signal. 7 percent of people really honestly said that it adds excitement!?! That’s freakin awesome! I’m going to try it on my way to work tomorrow. Article here.

Guy talks about porn on QVC

(click image to watch video)

Woman sells husband's ashes for $30?

A Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania, woman whose husband's cremated remains were accidentally sold in a garage sale last weekend has gotten them back.

The ashes of Brian Hanlon were in a ten-inch-high statuette of an eagle. Jane Hanlon had left it on a mantle along with some items she was selling before moving. And her mother, Sarah Volpe, not realizing what it was, sold it for 30 dollars.

The Pocono Record ran a story about how much they wanted the statuette back, and the paper reports today that the woman who bought it returned it yesterday, on what would have been Brian Hanlon's 45th birthday.

Jane Hanlon says her mom jokes that her son-in-law went on vacation for his birthday.

Wow, imagine how she felt when she realized she sold her husband for only 30 dollars! She’s lucky she lives in a small town. Article here.

Jealous Mini Cooper? The Audi A2:

Buy your way out of a traffic ticket on eBay

So I’m really not sure how legal this is… but a cop is selling ‘traffic ticket tips’ via eBay.

Yep, that’s right. Why? Well this Texas cop is in need of purchasing a gun (AR-15 police rifle), and he’s holding a fundraiser. With that in mind, here is what he’s selling:

“Since I am an everyday Patrol Officer, I hear on consistant basis every excuse, complaint, comment, reason, explination, and contributing factor when dealing with a law breaker. Whether it is on a traffic stop or a felony arrest, they all seem to be the same. What I have for sale is in my opinion...THE TOP 10 THINGS TO SAY OR DO TO GET YOU OUT OF A TRAFFIC TICKET!”

The way you purchase this ‘top 10 list’ is per rule/comment.

Every rule/comment costs 99 cents. If you buy 1 rule/comment-you will receive #10. If you buy 5-you will receive #10-#6. If you buy 10-you get the entire list! Not only will you get a rule/comment, but I will give you an explicit explination on how to use each one, as well as situational examples! And that is if you only buy 1!”

Again, I’m not sure how legal all this is… but nevertheless it’s kind of interesting. Click here to see the actual eBay listing.

Doggy-style-snow-angel?

What do you prefer? TV vs. Sex?

When it comes to sex and romance, Canadians would rather watch television or surf the net.

Of 2,500 people surveyed, more than half said they were often too tired to have sex, while 42 percent said they were too stressed out and 40 percent said they did not have time.
Around half of the respondents said when they do have sex it is intimate and tender.

Wright said another yet-to-be released study found that 37 percent of Canadians over 55 prefer a good night of sex to a good night of sleep, indicating that sex is still important to that age group.

Wow, uh- television/internet vs. sex? Seems like a no brainer to me? But, obviously I guess it depends on who it’s with right? Article here.

The Reebok sneaker car!

Man sues himself after hitting his car?

Curtis Gokey has only himself to blame for an accident, but he sued anyway.

Gokey is suing the city of Lodi, California for driving a dump truck into his car. The only thing is, he was the city employee driving the truck.

Gokey was driving the truck when he backed into his own car. He filed a $3,600 claim for damages, which the city rejected.

City attorneys said Gokey was essentially suing himself.

Now, Gokey's wife is filing a claim in her own name, saying she's the one who uses the car. The city has rejected her claim, too. But Rhonda Gokey isn't giving up so easily. She said she's not as nice as her husband. She insisted she has "the right to sue the city because a city's vehicle damaged my private vehicle."

Rhonda Gokey's claim is for $1,200 more than Curtis'.

Hmmm… well- I guess you can’t blame him for trying huh? Worth a shot? Article here.