Thursday, November 30, 2006

The look on their faces says it all

Overheard on the streets of New York:

Girl: Seriously, I'd give, like, 20 blowjobs to get an apartment.
-Barna, 26th & Park

Loudmouth on cell: Yeah man, and then, like, I was kissing her, and then I like, just started dancing with her. We were dancing, man. And then I picked her up, and she beat the crap out of me, and I had to put her down. Yeah, man. But she was a fuckin' awesome kisser.

Girl on cell: He said he wouldn't leave until I kissed him... so I kissed him while I was on the toilet!
-115th St & Manhattan Ave

Dorky college freshman: Dude, I totally blacked-out last night... Last thing I remember I was dancing with her mom.
-1 train, Times Square station

Young son: Your penis is bigger than my penis.
Father: I should hope so. [Several seconds later] Don't touch it!
-Big Apple Circus, men's room

Bum to man stumbling while reading Hamlet: Yeah, that's right, Hamlet. That's what you get for killing Polonius that way, you son of a bitch.
-W 43rd

Chick: So then he slammed my infected eyebrow right into his crotch. It was terrific!
-Theater, 1st Ave & 9th St

Substitute teacher: How do you spell 'attendance?'
Student: Oh, why? Are you doing a crossword puzzle?
Substitute teacher: I'm taking attendance; what the fuck do you think I'm doing?
-Stuyvesant High School

Hipster chick: Do you think New Yorkers are mean, or are we just so jaded we're not fazed by anything?
Hipster dude: I think it's a combination of both.
Hipster chick: Because, well, my friend just found out he has testicular cancer, and he's getting one of his balls removed on his birthday. And I thought that was hilarious. You know what else? Maybe New Yorkers are also whores -- I seriously considered sleeping with him just so I could say I was the last person to see his left ball.
Hipster dude: That's a bit soulless. But it's also a little funny.
Hipster chick: See, really, if you think about it in the right way, everything is funny.
Hobo: You're just a mean whore.
-Bedford & 6th St
via, choose your fate...

What's up Across the Board readers,

Based on a previous 'Question of the Month', I decided to throw together this simple website called 9 Minutes to Live. The premise is; if someone told you that you had 9 minutes to live... what would you do with your last few minutes before you died? I just launched the website last night, check it out at:

One really classy t-shirt

Women talk three times as much as men

Women talk almost three times as much as men, with the average woman chalking up 20,000 words in a day - 13,000 more than the average man.

Women also speak more quickly, devote more brainpower to chit-chat - and actually get a buzz out of hearing their own voices, a new book suggests.
The book - written by a female psychiatrist - says that inherent differences between the male and female brain explain why women are naturally more talkative than men.

In The Female Mind, Dr Luan Brizendine says women devote more brain cells to talking than men. And, if that wasn't enough, the simple act of talking triggers a flood of brain chemicals which give women a rush similar to that felt by heroin addicts when they get a high.

Dr Brizendine, a self-proclaimed feminist, says the differences can be traced back to the womb, where the sex hormone testosterone moulds the developing male brain.

The areas responsible for communication, emotion and memory are all pared back the unborn baby boy. The result is that boys - and men - chat less than their female counterparts and struggle to express their emotions to the same extent. Read the full article here.

Christmas time is here, 'tis the season to...

Kevin Federline cheated on Britney with porn star

Reports are now surfacing that there was an actual reason that Britney filed for divorce from K-Fed. He was banging former porn star, Kendra Jade, for over a month.
Federline met Kendra Jade, an “exotic dancer” and former porn star, in Las Vegas in December 2005 while his wife was visiting her family in Kentwood, Louisiana, according to Star magazine, and the two stayed in touch.

A source says: "Kev and Kendra had sex at their friends' apartment multiple times, starting in early October...Their friend would phone Kendra and a few other girls to come hang out, and it would always end up with Kevin and Kendra heading off to the spare bedroom!" Article here. Below is a picture of Kendra.

The mouse in this picture looks, well -- uh, err...

2-year-old baby break dancing prodigy!

College education vs. $1,000 pair of jeans

Like many urban teenagers, Ted Robertson doesn't mind spending more than he can afford to emulate his favorite rappers. He wears $500 Japanese designer jeans and $200 Air Jordan sneakers.

A 17-year-old junior, at an alternative school-to-work transition program for at-risk students, Robertson is more concerned with keeping up with the latest hip-hop fashions than getting into college.

"I try to dress like my favorite rappers, T.I. and Little Wayne," he says. "I want to save for a car, but I want a pair of Red Monkey Jeans that cost $1,000. I'm going to get them." Read the full article here.