Tuesday, May 22, 2007

This is going to hurt in the morning.

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Mom blames Satan for burning baby in microwave

A woman blames the devil and not her husband for severely burning their infant daughter after the 2-month-old was put in a microwave.

Eva Marie Mauldin said Satan compelled her 19-year-old husband, Joshua Royce Mauldin, to microwave their daughter because the devil disapproved of Joshua's efforts to become a preacher.

"Satan saw my husband as a threat. Satan attacked him because he saw (Joshua) as a threat," Eva Mauldin told Houston television station KHOU-TV. Full article here.

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Owner feeds Ferret a jalapeno, watch what happens:

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[semi-sorta funny] the woman's 'skank sack'

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Dude sleeps through gunshot to the head

Michael Lusher apparently is a sound sleeper. A small-caliber bullet struck the 37-year-old Altizer man in the head as he slept Sunday morning, but he didn't realize it until he awoke nearly four hours later and noticed blood coming from his head, said Cpl. R.H. McQuaid of the Cabell County Sheriff's Department.

The bullet that struck him was one of five that someone sprayed across his mobile home and truck at about 4:20 a.m. Sunday, McQuaid said. The one the struck Lusher apparently lost velocity as it traveled through two walls. Lusher came home from a night on the town about an hour before he was shot while lying in bed, McQuaid said. He remained hospitalized at St. Mary's Medical Center on Monday. His condition was not immediately available. Article here.

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Hey kid, watch out.

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Damn, gross -- that's a lot of dead bugs.

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84% of women say they've met new men by ass grinding

A new survey was conducted by a medical resident at Queen's University, Kingston 143 women in clubs between the ages of 18 and 28 about what works when a man is trying to get their attention at a bar.

While most women in the survey said they preferred a man introduce himself and start a conversation when they first meet, about 30% said "grinding" is an acceptable way to pick someone up.

"Grinding" is exactly what it sounds like -- a man introduces himself to a strange woman by coming up behind her on the dance floor and rubbing his pelvis against her. In case you think this is a bit exaggerated, 84% of the women in the survey say this is how they have personally experienced new men introducing themselves.

Another startling finding in the survey is 3.5% of the women asked said touching their breasts was an "acceptable alternative to hello". Now, 3.5% is not very high, but if you're in a bar with 200 women, that means statistically somewhere there are seven of them who will let you shake more than their hands when you introduce yourself. Full article here.

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Dudes running on urinals with flying beers coming at them.

(wow, looks like a lot of fun, if your the people throwing stuff)

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From an egg to a rooster...

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20 Things I Learned From The Internet:

  • You want it, you can find it online.

  • If you don't want it, you can also find it online.

  • Everyone has a website. Grandfathers, mothers and babies. Everyone.

  • If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

  • The Internet is the geeks playground. Here, we rule.

  • Not that you would ever need to know the dietary habits of the South American anteater, but it's comforting to know you could find it online if you did.

  • When in doubt, Wikipedia.

  • Explaining the Internet to someone who's never been online, is like explaining the Magna Carta to your cat.

  • Almost everything of substance can be summed up with a “DUDE! Check this out!' and a hyperlink.

  • There is no such thing as 'sufficient bandwidth'.

  • There's always something new.

  • You can never go back once you've tried it. via

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Photoworthy: the gas mask showerhead

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Paula Abdul broke her nose.

A spokesperson for Paula Abdul confirmed to “Extra” that over the weekend, Abdul tripped trying to avoid her Chihuahua, Tulip. As a result of the fall, the “American Idol” judge broke her nose. The spokesperson told “Extra” that contrary to reports, Paula was not hospitalized.

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You and I both know what he's thinking...

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You think you have bad luck? Not compared to this woman.

She’s been shot at, mugged and has had a bat tangled in her hair. If that doesn’t make your skin crawl, Jeanne Rogers, 58, also has been struck by lightning twice, has fallen into a manhole and off a cruise ship, was nearly strangled, and she unwittingly helped Fred Rogers, the late star of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, get naked.

"People think I’m a little paranoid when I walk a mile to avoid a manhole or won’t walk under a ladder," Rogers said during an interview this week. "There’s so many things I won’t do because I know what can happen." Full article here.

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They even have a phone number with the word 'dick'.

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Uni the Hedgehog is pretty cool.

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Thirty cops to enforce no-cheers rule at graduation

Graduates of Indianapolis public schools have been told about the new policy forbidding cheering during the reading of the graduates' names. "It is not a party. It is not a pep rally," says the school's chief. At least some parents think getting dragged out for being excited about a family member's accomplishment is spoiling the fun. Full article here

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The Pessimist's Mug.

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The Apprentice gets cancelled, Trump wants to 'move on'

Property tycoon Donald Trump has quit his reality TV show The Apprentice after the program was left off of NBC's new primetime schedule. Trump was reportedly left fuming last week after the network's announcement, and has decided to pull The Apprentice altogether. The 60-year-old issued a statement on Friday saying he was "moving on" from the corporate-themed show to work on "a major new TV venture," but refused to reveal further details. Article here.

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