Monday, March 12, 2007

Although this video is kinda old, this trick is awesome

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Overheard on the streets of New York:

Angry guy: Fuck her and fuck her wedding. I piss on her nuptials. I shit on her nuptials.
Angry wife: I know. I know. But we still have to send a gift.
Angry guy: A gift? I should shit in a box! Tomorrow you get a box from Tiffany's. Today I eat walnuts!
-Trader Joe's, 14th St

Preppy guy waiting for walk signal: Hi there.
Hot girl: Um, do I know you?
Preppy guy: No, I was just being friendly...
Hot girl: Oh, yeah? Well then why don't you say hi to her, too? [Points to fat chick nearby.]
Preppy guy, to himself: God, I hate New Yorkers...
-Central Park

Mother to three-year-old daughter: Hey, it's Santa on the phone. And you know what he says? Stop taking my credit cards.
-Metro-North train

Girl: Damn, it's really cold!
Guy: I know! I hate having to smoke outside in this weather.
Girl: Totally -- they should let us smoke inside when it gets like this. Cold weather is bad for your health, y'know?
-29th St, Astoria

Blonde looking in compact: I need a new nose.
Boyfriend: I need a new apartment.
Blonde, whiny: It's always your needs! What about mine?!
Boyfriend: You just spent five thousand dollars on your fucking tits with my money!
Server waiting to take order: I'll come back when you two are ready...
-Olive Garden, Chelsea

Girl #1: So, when he was done I turned over and pressed my 'that was easy button' from Staples.
Girl #2: Oh my god.
Girl #1: Yeah, but now he won't text me back.
-Orchard & Rivington

via

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Dude shows his bowling skills, picking up these spares

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Damn, this hot dog is 197 feet long (60.3 m).

Current world record holder for the world's longest hot dog, which was created at the Akasaka Prince Hotel in Tokyo, in 2006. The hot dog, certified by Guinness as the record holder, was 60.3m in length.

Dude literally chainsaws house in two after divorce split

A 43-year-old German decided to settle his imminent divorce by chainsawing a family home in two and making off with his half in a forklift truck.

Police in the eastern town of Sonneberg said on Friday the trained mason measured the single-storey summer house -- which was some 8 meters (26 feet) long and 6 meters wide -- before chainsawing through the wooden roof and walls.

"The man said he was just taking his due," said a police spokesman. "But I don't think his wife was too pleased." After finishing the job, the man picked up his half with the forklift truck and drove to his brother's house where he has since been staying. Article here.

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Wow -- nice soccer goal, checkout the curve...

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This artist really wanted to capture something ‘special’

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Britney Spears confesses to bulimia since age 16

Britney Spears has confessed to doctors that she has been suffering from the eating disorder bulimia since she was 16. The 25-year-old singer tearfully told rehab staff - already treating her for drug and alcohol abuse - that she "pigs out" on junk food like burgers, sweets, biscuits and ice cream then makes herself vomit to avoid putting on weight.

Britney's nine-year nightmare, revealed in an American magazine, was confirmed by a senior source at the Promises centre in Malibu, California. She entered the centre last month after shaving her head at a hair salon.

"Doctors are alarmed at the physical state she is in," said the source. "They confronted her about her desperately unhealthy lifestyle and the truth came pouring out." Britney said she managed to stop the dangerous habit during her two pregnancies. But as soon as sons Sean Preston and Jayden James were born, she began the desperately unhealthy cycle again in an effort to lose her added baby weight.
On top of her alcohol and alleged cocaine use, the bulimia turned her into a "human wreck", according to the source, who added: "When she came here she was shaking and baking. Her whole body was wracked by spasms and she was hot one minute, then freezing cold the next.

Dietary specialists at Promises are working with doctors to help Britney conquer the eating disorder - famously suffered by Princess Diana - which was discovered when specialists realised why her medications were not working.

The source said: "For the first few days, she'd take her tablets, then go off and eat breakfast or lunch. She was throwing the whole lot up, so, naturally, her medications weren't working. Now the medical experts know why, her progress should pick up a little speed." Source.

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Wow, this guy is lucky the car just missed his head

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Teens leave their dead mom in trunk of car for a month

For nearly a month after she was stabbed to death, Linda Damm's body lay in the trunk of her car inside her garage while her 15-year-old daughter and friends used her debit card to "do teenage stuff," police say.

Three teens tried but failed to get rid of the body, investigators allege, once turning back because they got stuck in the mud of a nearby landfill and later retrieving the body from a grave they had just dug at the edge of a cemetery, fearing it was too shallow.
They were planning to drive north to Wyoming for a third attempt, investigators claim, when an anonymous tip led police to Damm's body in her.

Now Damm's daughter, Tess Damm, and Tess' live-in boyfriend, Bryan Grove, 17, are being held without bail, Grove on charges of murder, conspiracy and evidence-tampering and Tess on charges of conspiracy, accessory and evidence-tampering. Both are being prosecuted as adults. Article here.

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Rosie O'Donnell shows off her 'yoga swing', WTF!?

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USC football player creates 'racist' Facebook group

An inside joke on the USC football team went awry when a Facebook group sparked outrage among students. The racist Facebook group was created by a USC football player and showed a graphic of a black baby in handcuffs. An athletic department source said the group was a joke and had no serious purpose.
Junior linebacker Clay Matthews created the group, "White Nation," which featured a graphic with the caption, "arrest black babies before they become criminals."

Teammates David Buehler, Brian Cushing, Dan Deckas and Dallas Sartz joined the group. "This group is not for the faint of heart," read the group's description. "All members are athletes of Caucasion (sic) descent. DISCLAIMER: In no way are the following memebers (sic) intolerant of others, we are just doing our duty of protecting the Arian (sic) brotherhood."

An athletic department source who wished to remain anonymous said the group was a joke and had no serious purpose. The "joke" began when a black football player nicknamed some of his teammates "White Nation," the source said.

Stefanie Gopaul, a freshman majoring in psychology, discovered the group through her Facebook friendship with Sartz and Cushing and sent private messages to both, expressing her concern.
"Dallas Sartz said that White Nation is a joke on the team and that he's not like that," Gopaul said. "I was still really upset about it." Gopaul created the Facebook group, " Clay Matthews (USC football player) expresses anti-black sentiment," and invited all of her Facebook friends to join.

The group received a strong response, at one time having as many as 90 members, and students expressed their outrage on the group message board and in personal messages to Gopaul. Full article here.

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