This entertainment blog showcases crazy news, pictures, and celebrity gossip. Occasionally, I talk about my life as well. Consider it slapdash if you will, I prefer to describe my actions as... Across the Board. Updated whenever I feel like it.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
1988 Nintendo news special, Super Mario Bros.
This is an old 1988 clip of Inside Edition with an article about Nintendos big success in America. The best part is the "Nintendo game counselor", who has one freakin' huge mullet.
So after all the sympathy and hand holding from my surgery – real life has returned. Not that I expected it to all go away, but for a while it all seemed to be in a stand still. It’s exciting and I’m really ready to get back in the swing of things.
Today I went to my first physical therapy appointment for my knee and was pleasantly surprised. My therapist is pretty nice. One thing caught me off guard -- there is a huge window showcasing the public workout gym area. Now naturally you’re drawn to look through this window because there’s a lot of people working out compared to the few people in the rehab area. I’m kinda unsure how I feel about this. Maybe it’s to impress upon you that once you get healed you can workout like the rest of the normal people in the world? Do the doctors want to taunt and tease their patients? Whatever. I won’t give into their mind games. I’ll show them. Mu-ha-ha-ha.
Teenagers who have significant problems reading appear to be much more likely than their peers to contemplate or attempt suicide, researchers reported yesterday.
In a three-year study of 188 high school pupils, researchers found that those with poor reading abilities were nearly four times more likely than average readers to think about or attempt suicide.
Twenty-five per cent of teens with reading disabilities said they thought about killing themselves or made a suicide attempt, while these thoughts and behaviours were reported by 9 per cent of students with average reading skills, the study authors report in the Journal of Learning Disabilities.
"If a child is having trouble reading, then drops out of school, the risk of suicidal behaviour in thought or in deed goes up all the more," said senior study author Dr Frank B. Wood of North Carolina. Article here.
It's a product of Slovakia, made by a company named "Tento". The paper is infused with herbal compounds that are claimed to help prevent hemorrhoid inflammation with continued use. According to the product's website:
"Toilet paper Hemo-Roll is 3 plies hygienic product. The coloured side of a piece of Hemo-Roll tissue paper contains a herb micro-layer of an extract from oak bark, marigold and common yarrow, with easeful effects on rectum."
It goes on to say that it's recommended to use Hemo Roll just for preventative purposes too. Product Website.
Man: When I look up at all these buildings and I think about the people who live in them, I only have one question, 'where do they all barbeque?' -Times Square
Guy: I wanna go to a zoo where all the animals are wearing pants. -Prospect Park Zoo
Guy: James Blunt is my homie. He gets me laid, on occasion. -Men' s room, MTV Time Square office.
20-year-old woman: Well, I never thought I'd be attracted to an 18-year-old, but here I am. -Royal Indian Restaurant, 1st Ave
Woman #1: I was dreaming that I was dreaming that I was awake but wanted to take a nap. So I did and I started dreaming. Then I woke up... but I was still asleep! Woman #2: Wow. --13th & University
Girl #1: My worst fear is falling on a picket fence or getting eaten by a shark. Girl #2: Oh yeah, well my worst fear is someone pushing me forward onto a blackboard and having my teeth scrape down the front. That would be awful. -Grand Central Station
Bouncer: Your ID doesn't scan... Drunk boy: Are you kidding? I paid extra for scanable. -Mercury Bar
Pilot: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm just going to power off the plane for a minute and restart it. Kind of like control-alt-delete on your computer. -LaGuardia
Lady: You're making me wet... I SAID you're making me wet. Man: Yes, I tend to have that effect on the ladies. Lady: With your umbrella. Man: I'm flattered, but it's not that big. -1 train
Coworker #1: So what've you been up to? Coworker #2: The usual. Just whacked off. Coworker #1: Dude, you're on speakerphone. -Office, Midtown
A truck spilled two tons of pigs' heads on a road in western Germany, giving passing drivers a shock on the night before Halloween, police said Tuesday.
The accident happened Monday night after the truck turned off a highway in Herne, in the Ruhr region, police in Bochum said. As the driver accelerated away from a traffic light, the door of his trailer opened, spilling the severed heads onto the road.
It took the fire service, helped by a fork-lift truck, an hour-and-a-half to load the heads back onto the truck. Article here.
"You gotta figure steak is safer because you figure no one is sticking their fingers in
"Telescopic is definitely a real word"
"You know your Mexican if you have a decal on the back of the car with your name- before
you even get a license plate."
"Looks like somebody unplugged the power the DJ booth!"
"We are opening a new night club- the slogans going to be: Kansas City's premier HARD
"You figure- we probably have the best H-O-R-S-E venue in the nation."
"I fu*kin' love carving pumpkins!"
"1 AM @ Chubbys - "You want chicken fried steak? Ewww, I wanna vomit!"
"If you can stick your fingers in it- and then it gets lost, thats how you know"
"Yeah dude, she totally has side-ass."
"I said yes, she said no, she said shut up..."
"Are you guys really in here folding pocket squares?"
"Last one there's a Penis Pump!"
"Scott the douche!"
"Daddy! I want my oompa loompa now!!"
"I guess the city finally did something about the squirrel problem."
"She's just fat enough- she's probably a freak!"
"I'm going to take a piss in the back yard. / Well that's fine, but thats the front
"While playing H-O-R-S-E: "I f*ckin' hate stadium lights (after the motion light comes
"You'd have a much bigger shaft if you'd do your balls right"
"So is a unicorn just a horse that has one horn sticking out of its head? Oh."
"I’d rather massage a chick with pudding."
"We’re getting a cat and we’re naming it taint."
"You should send her a text message and say that you want to rub her down with
"Never send a girl carnations unless you want her to say, 'Crap, I got
"I've decided photos of girls on boats are sexier than photos of girls on the
"I’m worried that I’m going to run out of people to ask to be friends on Facebook."
"Eat it with your hands it's tomato-saucy!"
"I hate when movies try to make food visually stimulating."
"She's been living for 16 years in KY jelly./Yeah, that can't be good on your
"I think pregnant ladies are scary"
"I think we should wait till it's late./When we get back it will be late./Exactly"
"The party is at Jerry's Bait Shop! OH-OH"
"I can't, I have to start studying for a final I have in two days... and I haven't even
taken the book out of the saran wrap."
"I don’t have to ask her for permission, I just have to persuade her to let me."
"You should have paddled him with your penis at his wedding!"
"Jeez-la-weez!"/Did you really just say Jeez-la-weez?"
"Listen here bucko!/Did you really just say bucko?"
"[Ramsey barges into Paul’s house and interrupts a group of people watching a serious
movie with the lights dimmed], “Paul you’re such a damn liar, and you smell like ham” –
Drunk Ramsey after the Rascal Flatts concert
"(calling me from the casino buffet) Dude -- quit screen your calls, I wanted to tell
you about the crazy amount of food I ate, I seriously, you’re probably going to think this
is an exaggeration but it’s not. [excited] I ate two steaks, probably about 35 shrimp, a
thing of carved turkey, a baked potato crab, a crab rangoon, some fried rice, two rolls, and
a teeny piece of pie at the end. Fucking most food I’ve ever eaten -- this place is fuckin’
[short pause] we have got to start coming here on Thursdays! Anyways, I’ll be home in a
little bit, later bye."
"Birth control is the best invention ever... [pause], so are condoms"
"So I've been thinking of taking up smoking as a hobby..."
"You would of been funny in the 80's"
"I wonder what T.J. Ford is up to?"
"You made out with him because you wanted to feel his suede jacket? That's awesome."
"Júlio… Baptista!! A.K.A. ‘the bat’"
"Fuckin' cock block!"
"Dude, I’d rather rollerblade on a treadmill"
"Scott: Craig's List is awesome!
Ramsey: Really? What do you look for?
Scott: Oh, you know -- snowboards, motorcycles, and bed frames.
Ramsey: Wait, what? Dude, that's pretty random shit."
"Can I have a dollar!!!!!"
"This is the best day ever! - Andy (from the Bachelor -- yeah, we watched it)
"My tires will not miss all the pot holes Lawrence, KS has to offer"
"I'm still pissed none of Paris Hilton's singles were popular"