Monday, September 18, 2006 mom pointed this out

This dude can pop his eyes out of his sockets

Rio De Janeiro, Brazil - Claudio Paulo Pinto is looking to break an eye-popping record. Literally. Pinto can pop his eyeballs out of their sockets at least 7 millimeters (0.3 inches), a national record for eye-popping according to RankBrasil, an organization modeled after the Guinness Book of World Records that lists Brazilian records.
A former driver, Pinto got a job scaring visitors in a commercial haunted house. But he recently was laid off, and now he seeks international recognition for his ability.

Pinto's ability is called "globe luxation." Doctors say it can strain blood vessels and nerves between the eyes and the head and feels unpleasant but usually doesn't cause lasting damage. Pinto says he's been luxating his globes since he was 9 years old and "it doesn't hurt a bit." Article here.

Woman dies during "Chubby-Bunny" contest

A 32-year-old woman who collapsed after a marshmallow eating-and-talking contest at the Western Fair this week has died in a London hospital, a spokesperson said yesterday.

Janet Rudd collapsed offstage Tuesday night just after the daily Chubby Bunny contest. The event, since cancelled by the fair, requires contestants to pop one marshmallow at a time into their mouths and say "chubby bunny" to amuse spectators until they can't say it anymore.
St. John's Ambulance staff came to Rudd's aid with a defibrillator and suction equipment, but were unable to remove the blockage in the unconscious woman's throat. Article here.

Not only are you selling a used dildo, you're only available during the day. Where do you go at night?

Car ramps dirt hill, flies 200 ft into apartment

A car hit a dirt hill at high speed and flew 200 feet into the second story of an apartment building on Tuesday, killing the driver, police said. Two people in separate apartments at the time of the 9 a.m. crash escaped injury, and there were no injuries on the street.

The 2004 Honda Accord, which was launched from a 4-foot dirt hill, penetrated the building up to its rear bumper, police spokesman Officer William Fairchild said.

Woman bites back at attacking rottweiler dog

A Tampa woman being attacked by a Rottweiler decided to bite back. Danielle Nelson was attacked by the 115-pound dog Friday. She broke free at one point, but he attacked again and would not loosen his jaw.

So, 20-year-old Nelson bit the dog back. The Rottweiler finally released his grip and a bloodied Nelson went inside the house.

Nelson's injuries weren't considered life-threatening but did require surgery. The dog was taken into custody. Its owner said the dog never attacked anyone before. Article here.

You love what?

Tips on avoiding a speeding / traffic ticket:

1. Don`t act like a idiot. If you act like a belligerent idiot, you will end up with a lot more than just a speeding ticket. More likely you will end up in jail with your car impounded!

2. Do not admit guilt. Say nothing, if possible. The cop can use your admission against you in court. Better to say nothing or act dumb (see below)

1. Say "yes Officer, no Officer" to everything. You want this over with - fast!

2. Act stupid. It helps, even cops don`t want to torture the stupid!

3. Act scared! As if the tickets means the end of your life! Again, cops waver at this point. They may not write it if they feel sorry for you.

4. Act ignorant about what you did. Even if they give you a ticket at least you didn`t admit you were speeding, which they will use in court against you later.

1. Don`t argue the situation out on the road - you will not win! You don`t want them to remember you when you do go to court. SAY NOTHING - then drive away.

2. Remember everything about the situation! How much traffic, the weather, which lane you were in. Make good mental/written notes on the facts.

1. Always plead `not guilty.` This may be a pre-trial appearance, or you may be able to send in the ticket with `not guilty` plea. Try to delay a pre-trial appearance if possible. There will be a specified date if you have to mail in the plea.

1. Very important. DELAY, DELAY, DELAY!! Keep putting off that court date! You don`t want to go to court! You want to make it so the cop thinks the case is so far in the past he`ll never remember anything.

2. Request information (optional, it can work for you, or make them want to nail you more!) Also they may or may not give you any of this depending on local laws!:

a. Copies of manufacturers names, including makes, models and serial numbers of all radar/laser guns in use by the Town/City/State Police Department.

b. Copies of manufacturers recommended maintenance for all of the above stated radar guns.

c. Copies of any manufacturer literature as it relates to the correct use, including but not limited to mounting, aiming, weather and traffic limitations, for all radar guns in use by the Town/City/State Police Department.

d. A copy of the past six months` maintenance records for all of the above stated radar guns, including, but not limited to, calibration specifications.

e. A copy of the Authorized Certification of Training, issued to the Officer who gave you the ticket, in the proper use of all radar guns in use by that Town/City/State Police Department he/she works for.

f. A copy of the patrol car assignments for the date you got the ticket.

This should give you something to work with, and also make the cop not want to show up to deal with all this crap! Source

One extreme paintball gun

Teen steals ladies panties then wears them?

A teenage suspect is under arrest for allegedly invading a pair of apartments, stealing ladies' underwear and later falling asleep in the lingerie after breaking into a video store.

Joseph Greenquist, 18, of Londonderry was found sleeping only in women's underwear at the store, noted police. Authorities said that a sack stuffed with women's panties was discovered there nearby the sleeping suspect.

Bail for Greenquist was set at $50,000, and he will appear again in court late this month. Article here.

Jessica Biel has a really long tongue... ;)

Dude leaves dead woman in comforter, 4 days

A Miami man faces a charge of failing to report a dead body -- that of a woman who lay in his condo for nearly four days.

For four long, hot days, police say, Angel Pichel hid a gruesome secret inside his fishing-themed Coconut Grove condo: the woman who died in her sleep after a night of partying with him.

Not knowing what to do, Pichel told police, he wrapped her body in a comforter and left her in the living room. By the time detectives found the body, it had decomposed beyond recognition.

No foul play is suspected, says the Miami homicide unit, which arrested the fishing boat mechanic on a misdemeanor charge of failing to report a dead body. ''He just continued going to work like nothing at all,'' said Miami Sgt. Eunice Cooper.

The case unfolded when an anonymous woman called the homicide unit Monday evening saying Pichel had been asking around for a way to dispose of a body.

Pichel said he met the woman at a Northwest Miami bar Thursday night and that they had gone back to his condo in the 3000 block of Southwest 27th Avenue, where they did drugs. On Friday morning, Pichel woke up and left briefly. ''He said he thought she was asleep. When he returned, he found her dead. He wrapped her in a comforter and placed her on the floor of [the] living room,'' lead homicide Detective Kevin Ruggiero wrote in his arrest report. Article here.