Friday, March 10, 2006

This would just feel really wrong to me

The one place you shouldn't of parked...

It was a painful sight for James Gibson Saturday when he discovered his car had been tossed around by a snow plow.
The 22-year-old arrived home for lunch to find the mangled front end of his 1989 Caprice jutting out of a snowbank at the Bull and Quench Pub and Restaurant parking lot on McIntyre Street East.

Gibson lives in the adjacent building and has parked his car in the lot since moving in about two months ago. He says there was never a complaint about his car from the local pub.

But unfortunately, it appears as though Gibson’s snow-covered vehicle wasn’t seen Saturday by the pub’s snow plow operator until it was too late.

Damn dude, that sucks. However, he was driving a 1989 Caprice- which could of easily been mistaken for trash. :) Article here.

Britney Spears is fat, she can't eat dessert

Kevin Federline apparently called a restaurant before Britney and him arrived to make sure they wouldn't serve her dessert.

When they were done with dinner, the waiter refused to wheel over the dessert cart, he had this to say: "I'm sorry, Ms. Spears, but your husband called here a few minutes ago and told us you weren't allowed to have dessert. In fact, we've been told that no one at the table can have dessert--because you'll eat it."

This is f*ckin hilarious. No really. This is funny. I'm laughing, are you?

The biggest bear in the world is dead

These pictures are of a man who works for the US Forest Service in Alaska, and his trophy bear.

He was deer hunting last week when the large grizzly charged him from about 50 yards away. The guy emptied his 7mm Magnum semi-automatic rifle into the bear and it dropped a few feet from him. The big bear was still alive so the hunter reloaded and shot it several times in the head.

The bear was just over one thousand six hundred pounds. It stood 12' 6" high at the shoulder, 14' to the top of his head. It is the largest grizzly bear ever recorded in the world.

Analyzing contents of the bears stomach, the Fish and Wildlife Commission established the bear had killed at least two humans in the past 72 hours, including a hiker missing two days prior to the bear's own death.

Think about this for a second:

If you are an average size man, you would be level with the bear's navel when he stood upright. The bear would look you in the eye when it walked on all fours! To give additional perspective, this bear, standing on its hind legs, could walk up to an average single story house and look over the roof; or stand aside a two story house and look in the upper bedroom windows. F*ck!

[thanks sky]

Brokeback Mountain Animal Cracker?

So apparently you can relate Brokeback Mountain to anything now. Check out this Brokeback Mountain Animal Cracker that is listed on eBay:

“Look at this amazing "Brokeback Mountain" animal cracker, discovered in a bag of seemingly normal animal crackers. "When the cow met the camel."

A must have for collectors of unusual items!”

Currently the auction is at $1.00, shipping costs $4.00. Click here to see the actual eBay listing.

One damn fat-ass cat

Man weighs 1,000 pounds, down to 400

Patrick Deuel, who once weighed more than 1,000 pounds, has lost another 81 pounds in a surgery that removed a mass of fat and skin hanging from his midsection.
Surgery to remove it had been scheduled for January, but the procedure was postponed when Deuel got the flu. With the surgery, Deuel now weighs about 400 pounds.

He could lose even more through exercise, said Harris. "But if Patrick never lost another pound, I'd be a happy camper," Harris said.

When Deuel came to Sioux Falls for gastric bypass surgery in 2004, he weighed 1,072 pounds.

He was so large his bedroom wall had to be cut out to extract him from his home. He was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance with extra-wide doors and a ramp-and-winch system that had to be dispatched from Denver.

I’m still unsure how people gain this much weight in the first place. I mean, I understand that some people are naturally obese by their genetic history- however, I don’t think it’s engrained in your DNA that you’ll weigh over a thousand pounds. That can't be natural. Article here.

W,w,w,w,ipe out!

Now your dog can have a cell phone

A cell phone for dogs. Yep, the PetsCell is the first voice enabled waterproof GPS cell phone optimized for animals, will be available for distribution early in 2006.
With remote programmable geo-fence capability and a temperature sensor accompanied with a variety of other attachable devices, the PetsCellTM will quite simply be the standard against which all other pet tracking devices are measured. The PetsMobilityTM PetsCellTM is the solution for lost pets.

You can actually call your dogs collar, and then speak to your dog. Now whether or not your dog speaks back- that’s a whole different story. Personally I think this product is nothing but a bunch of shenanigans. I guess it would be cool if you lose your dog a lot? Whatever. Click here to learn more about this product.

Dead man unnoticed on highway?

An elderly man spent at least three days in his vehicle on the side of a busy Canadian highway before anyone - including police who checked the car's license plate - realized he was dead.

A passing motorist discovered the man's body after deciding to check the vintage-model car on the Trans-Canada Highway near British Columbia, on Sunday to see if it was for sale.

The car's license number was checked by passing police on Friday and Saturday to make sure it was not stolen, but the officers apparently did not stop to inspect it because it was not impeding traffic.

Officials believe the 75-year-old man became ill and pulled off to the side of highway, which is used by hundreds of Vancouver-area motorists each day. They say he then probably slumped down in his seat and died. Article here.

Super model likes to take penis pictures?

British model Jodie Marsh has revealed that she collects pictures of penises. Whose penises? The ones belonging to men she has been involved with.

According to Closer magazine, Jodie says it's a good way of remembering them. She said: "I have Polaroids of all my boyfriends' willies, including Kenzie and Calum Best."
However, Jodie has a plan for the pictures she added: "They're for blackmail purposes to make sure they don't sell stories about me."

WTF? Seriously? I guess if you are hooking up with a British super model like Jodie, you’ll pretty much do anything she asks of you. Article here.

Please watch your balls

Lindsay Lohan wants to be topless

Lindsay Lohan told Cosmopolitan magazine that she would appear topless in a film only if she knew it meant that she would win an Oscar. The actress claims that she's already "OK with being topless in front of people."

I'm not sure if anybody has explained this to Lindsay, but you don't get an Oscar just for being topless. Not only that- is there anyone really out there that would really care to see Lindsay Lohan topless anyways? I mean she isn’t exactly ‘healthy’ if you know what I mean. Whatever.

Two maids get in fight over toilet paper!?!

It was plunger versus mop in a fight between motel maids. Police in North Charleston, S.C., reported that a couple of maids got into it over toilet paper.

According to investigators, each accused the other of taking the TP from their respective cleaning carts.

Deloris Smith is charged with assault and battery for hitting the other maid with a mop. But Smith said she was defending herself from a plunger.

The other woman was taken to a hospital for treatment of minor injuries.

I would of paid money to see video footage of this fight. Quality stuff... all over some toilet paper. Article here.

An AD that 'slices' though the page

Women like to get drunk and have sex?

83 percent of college women and graduates surveyed by the AMA said spring break involves heavier-than-usual drinking, and 74 percent said the break results in increased sexual activity.

The women's answers were based both on firsthand experience and the experiences of friends and acquaintances.

Sizable numbers reported getting sick from drinking, and blacking out and engaging in unprotected sex or sex with more than one partner, activities that increase their risks for sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies.

No way… girls like to drink and have sex on Spring Break? Sex leads to STD’s and unwanted pregnancies? Well, sh*t! Weird how that works huh? Maybe if the media didn’t portray that those behaviors as the norm for Spring Break… we wouldn’t have this problem in the first place. Article here.

Man robs bank, says he was 'just joking'

A man may not be laughing after police busted him for robbing a bank. He claims was just joking.
Detectives in Williston, North Dakota, charge that Ryan Wright, 20, walked into a bank wearing a ski mask and demanded money. But investigators say Wright pulled up his mask and told tellers, "just kidding."

Monday night he surrendered to officers on a charge of terrorizing, stemming from the February 17th incident. A judge has set bail at $1,000, and ordered Wright to stay away from booze and bars while his case is pending. Article here.

This pinky ring makes you stop snoring

Anti Snor is a ring worn on the pinky finger that will stop you from snoring.
The sterling silver ring is worn on the left pinkie finger, positioned between the knuckle and first joint. The inside of the ring holds two slightly raised bumps that apply acupressure to two points along the finger, allowing our life force energy to flow freely to our breathing passages.

Damn, this thing is pretty cool. I wonder if it works. I wish I could given this to some of my friends when I was in college. You can buy one for $45 + $5 for shipping. Click here to buy one.

First-grader caught with six bags of weed?

A six-year-old girl had something to share with her teachers -- six baggies of pot.

Police in Hartford, Connecticut, report the girl found the weed in her jacket pocket and reported it to the staff at the Noah Webster Elementary School.

The girl's mother, Lisa Phillips, was busted after police say they found a-half pound of pot in the home. Phillips was ordered held on $10,000 bond on marijuana-dealing charges.

The girl is in the care of a relative. Article here.

Well this is a cool advertisement eh'?

This $10,000 bill belongs a dead man

A rare $10,000 bill is getting a new home. The bill one of 15 large-denomination bills at a Chase Bank branch in Green Bay was shipped to the bank's corporate archives in New York for safe keeping.

The $10,000 bill bears the likeness of Salmon P. Chase, for whom the bank was named. Chase was a U.S. senator who served as treasury secretary under President Lincoln.

The large bill was discovered in a bank customer's safety deposit box after the owner died 20 years ago. The woman's family exchanged the currency at face value, and the bank stored the bill in a plastic sleeve for protection.

Fun Fact to tell your friends, but not in a bar: the government stopped printing bills larger than $100 in 1945 and hasn't issued any since 1969. The Green Bay bills were printed in 1934. Article here.