Friday, September 08, 2006

Put on your banana hat -- where's yours?

Overheard on the streets of New York:

Airport security guard #1: Hey, I gotta get me a mongoose.
Airport security guard #2: Yeah, man. Gotta keep them cobras off them planes.
-JFK

Suit: And now she wants to be involved in my strategic planning initiative? Fuck her!
-Rockefeller Plaza

Sassy flight attendant: In the event of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will be released from the overhead above your seat. After the screaming subsides, please place the oxygen mask around your nose and mouth. If you are traveling with a child or an adult who is acting like a child, place your mask on first before attempting to help put theirs on.
-Flight out of LaGuardia

Girl: I'm done with threesomes. Someone always gets hurt. It's four-gies only from now on.
-Duane Reade, 32nd & Broadway

Girl on cell: I don't care how many fingers you put in her. Bottom line is, she didn't blow you. So I win.
-Times Square

Ghetto girl #1: So I was all, "As if," and she was all, "Whatever!"
Ghetto girl #2: Yo, dat's some fucked up shit.
Ghetto girl #1: So when I got home, I totally unfriended her on MySpace.
Ghetto girl #2: I'ma hafta smack dat bitch up, fo' realz!
Ghetto girl #1: Oh, just unfriend her! She'd hate that even more!
-S train

Young man: I don't care what you say. I just wanna get a big stroller and have my wife push me around. I don't care what you say. That's pimp. That's pimp.
-23rd & Broadway

Jenn Sterger at the 2006 Miami vs. FSU game

So you loyal Across-the-Board readers will remember the exclusive interview with Jenn Sterger (read interview here). Jenn who you might ask? She’s the girl who single handedly became the most famous person on Facebook.com.

Anyways, here is what she was seen wearing at the Florida State vs. Miami game this past Monday. Looks like she's still trying to grab everyone's attention... shocker, I know.

World's fattest man to have weight surgery?

Manuel Uribe Garza, thought to be the world's fattest man, could soon undergo weight-loss surgery in Italy, according to a report from the Italian news service Ansa.

A mechanic from northern Mexico, Garza has weighed as much as 1,235 pounds but recently lost weight with the help of doctors.
Italian surgeon Giancarlo DeBernardinis told Agence France-Presse, "We will hold a meeting in the coming days to work out the details of the hospitalization and to prepare the operating theater and the appropriate surgical tools."


For the past five years, Uribe has been bedridden. He keeps a television and a computer he uses to update his Web site near his iron bed.

"People think that I can eat a whole cow, but it's not just overeating, it's also a hormonal problem," Uribe said. Article here.

Wow, that’s a lot of skydivers

Movie Mistakes in Top Gun:

  • At the end of the movie, a victorious Maverick is hoisted on the shoulders of the guys. As he goes up, he isn't wearing sunglasses. His head goes out of the shot, and when he comes down, he's wearing a pair.

  • When "Charlie" is first introduced to the class, she struts down the aisle in heels. When she follows Maverick into the building, you can briefly see that she is wearing flats to compensate for Maverick's short stature.

  • In a scene soon after Cruise's partner dies, when he's flying with his new partner, you can see his call sign on his helmet, but when they get on the ground and he's talking to Cruise, all the letters on his helmet are removed.

  • In the volleyball scene, Maverick can clearly be seen looking at his watch because he has a hot date with Kelly McGillis, however while they are actually playing, it is easily noticeable that he is no longer wearing his watch.

  • Every time they show a close up of Maverick moving the throttle (going to burner, hitting the brakes, etc...) he is doing it backwards. He pulls back for burner and forward to slow down. In real life, it is just the opposite.

via

Beer pong in the shower? How does that work?

Gang members threw human heads on floor?

An armed gang of suspected drug traffickers threw five human heads on to the dance floor of a bar in western Mexico early yesterday in an apparent revenge killing.

Wielding pistols and rifles, 20 men dressed in black drove up to the Light and Shade bar in the city of Uruapan, barged into the club and fired shots in the air. They forced late-night revellers to lie on the floor and pulled the five male heads out of plastic bags, dumping them on the floor along with a handwritten message.

The victims have not been identified, and the rest of their bodies have not been found. Thirteen people have been decapitated in the area this year. Article here.

Drunk groom, can’t pose for wedding pictures

11-year-old girl sexually assaulted by 20 boys?

An 11-year-old girl was sexually assaulted by as many as 20 boys as a 16-year-old girl watched and told her what sex acts to perform, authorities say in the latest mob attack to rock Milwaukee and set off another round of civic soul-searching.

The 16-year-old girl and a 15-year-old boy have been charged in juvenile court in the attack, which authorities said took place on Monday in a house on the city's north side. A 40-year-old man who also had sex with the child may also be charged, authorities said.

As for the others, "we're dealing with a lot of nicknames so we're trying to track down these people," said prosecutor Matthew Torbenson.


According to court papers, the 11-year-old girl told police she was interested romantically in the 16-year-old girl, who looked and dressed like a boy. The alleged victim and two friends went to the 16-year-old's house, where the child performed oral sex on three teenage boys, according to court papers. The 40-year-old uncle of the 16-year-old admitted he also had sex with the 11-year-old and told police that the 16-year-old was directing the child, the papers said.

The 11-year-old then went to the basement, where there were about 15 males and she told police she "began to choose who she wanted to perform oral sex on," court papers said.

The 16-year-old told police that the 11-year-old had told her she wanted to perform oral sex on the boys in the house. The 16-year-old denied encouraging her. The 16-year-old girl and the 15-year-old boy were charged with being a party to sexual assault. Torbenson said he will probably seek to have them tried as adults. Article here.