Friday, January 13, 2006

Caption this...

Teen breaks leg while killing huge-f*ckin spider

A 19-year-old youth-camp leader has broken his leg in two places after kicking ''one of the largest'' huntsman spiders he had ever seen.

The teen saw the spider on a wall this morning while at the Attunga Country Campsite in the NSW Southern Highlands and attacked it with a deadly kick that ended the spider's life - and badly affected his own.

He was airlifted to Liverpool hospital by an NRMA CareFlight helicopter from the camp, which is 25 kilometres west of Mittagong.

''He was [looking] sheepish but he was in significant pain and he was facing the barrier of difficult road access," said Greg Ohlsson, the pilot of the helicopter.

''He was a nice guy, he was very polite and obviously embarrassed.
''He said the spider was a huntsman, one of the largest he'd ever seen, which is why he kicked it.''

Mr Ohlsson said the man's friends were concerned for his health but described the camp atmosphere as "light-hearted" due to the cause of the injury.

''They wished him well and told him to hurry up and get well, so he could come camping again.''

I freakin' hate spiders, and so does my roommate. Article here.

Britney Spears looks f-ugly'er than ever... Eww!

Dude gets his 'b-gock' caught in a mouse trap!

A dude caught his manhood in a mouse trap not just once but twice. Pub manager Gary, 32, was in agony after the party piece went wrong.

The first accident happened at the age of 14 when a schoolboy prank went wrong. He needed 14 stitches to fix his wounded willy.

When regulars at The Railway pub in Ipswich, Suffolk, heard about Gary’s painful past they egged him on to show them what happened.
A pal put a mouse trap on a pool table for the demonstration — but Gary tripped as he walked towards it with his manhood hanging out.
Last night Gary said: “I was quite drunk so I undid my flies and walked over to the trap. I really didn’t mean to set the trap off again but I stumbled and it went. I must be the only bloke in Britain to have caught my bits in a mousetrap not once but twice.

“It is completely and utterly embarrassing. Luckily I only nipped the end of my privates but I still had to go to casualty for a tetanus injection. The nurses thought it was hilarious — especially when they realised it was my second visit for the same accident.” Article here.

Dude, who was that hot girl who parked my car?

If you see a scanty dressed girl parking a car, good chances it’s one of the Valet Girls.

A California Girls Valet Parking has acquired Malibu-based Valet Girls and plans to go nationwide. Company officials said it is their goal to be operating in 40 cities by 2010.

Clients can request a variety of uniforms, from the skimpy to cute. The company said most of its Valet Girls are models, actresses or dancers earning some extra money.

Valet Girl Dana Cole, an aspiring actress, said her favorite costume is the schoolgirl outfit, with a plaid miniskirt and sneakers. She said it's sexy and easy to run around in.

Cole said tips range from a couple of bucks to $100. She said she's been tipped twice with a C-note.

The girls have parked vehicles at parties for celebrities, including George Burns, Dennis Hopper, Frank Zappa, Sen. Hillary Clinton, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bob Hope, according to

Post office stole hundreds of DVD's from people

A 24-year-old Loveland woman who worked as a postal carrier is accused of stealing more than 1,250 Netflix and Blockbuster DVDs from the mail in the Lyons area.

A federal grand jury in Denver indicted the woman, Karen Durante, late Wednesday. She is charged with four counts of stealing Netflix DVDs from the mail and one count of possessing 1,256 Netflix and Blockbuster DVDs which had been stolen from the mail.

Durante was a contract mail carrier for the U.S. Postal Service. The indictment said she stole four DVDs from specific postal customers in July, after which authorities allegedly found additional DVDs at her home.

Netflix is an Internet-based business that rents movies on DVD to customers by mail for set monthly fees. Article here.

Things I like vs. spending time with you

Cat stuck in dry wall after remodeling project

A basement remodeling project left Jany Chumas with one question after the drywalling was done… her pet cat was nowhere to be found.

As more time passed, she suspected the cat could be trapped, and she and her daughter headed for the basement to search. "I called her - 'Here, kitty, kitty' - and I could hear this faint, weak meow coming from behind the walls where they had just drywalled," Chumas said Tuesday.

She called the Eau Claire Fire Department and a crew went to the home about 5 p.m. Friday. First they cut a small hole in the drywall near where Chumas heard the cat's cries, but they found only insulation.

A thermal imaging camera brought in by Battalion Chief Rick Merryfield detected a heat pattern in the ceiling. When Lt. Steve Hanson cut a small hole in the ceiling, he found nothing, but when he looked in with a flashlight, he could see the cat on a floor joist in another room.

The firefighters had Chumas call into the hole, and soon a weak, hungry, tired and dusty 'Mary Poppins' "came tumbling out of the ceiling," Chumas said.

Some food and water put 'Mary Poppins' on the road to recovery from her five days behind the drywall. "Another couple of days and I think she would've been gone," Chumas said. Article here.

How to make water freeze in mid-air...

Pretty f*cking risky... wouldn't you say?

High school student has sex w/pregnant teacher

A 29 year-old teacher in Ayersville faces possible sexual battery charges after she reportedly had sex with one of her students.

Nicole Long, a high school English and speech teacher, resigned after the allegations became public.

At the board meeting Monday night, parent Bette Stark addressed the board with a bunch of questions about how a teacher could be having sex with a 17-year-old boy and no one knew about it.

Stark said her son is a friend of the young man who supposedly had the affair with Long. She said her son was on the track team with the boy. Stark said Long would call the 17-year-old on the bus while they were going to track meets.

A fellow educator did tell us Long was a great teacher in the classroom and that he would put her up against any of the best teachers in the state.

Long could be charged with sexual battery, which is a third-degree felonies. A grand jury will review the case January 18th. She could not be reached for comment, but the sheriff confirms that Long is married and seven months pregnant. He says the pregnancy has nothing to do with their case at this time.

This was the second teacher involved in a sex-related incident in the Ayersville district in recent times. Last month, the board suspended teacher Megan Espen without pay for allegedly showing a pornographic film during one of her Spanish classes.

Uh... what? She's married and pregnant!?! Are you kidding? And what's up with this teacher who showed porn in class? That's like every high schoolers dream. Awesome! Article here.

Check out the concept for the next Camaro

Click image to read more about the new Camaro...

Best man torches honeymoon'in couple's home

A newlywed couple's best man was sentenced to nine years in prison for torching the groom's house during the honeymoon.

Joseph T. Overton, pleaded guilty in October to arson and manufacture of explosive devices. He also sentenced Wednesday and ordered to repay insurance companies that paid claims on the fire. The home is being rebuilt.

Overton had been the best man at the wedding of Anthony and Shannon Williams two days before the explosions last April.

Williams said he and Overton had argued a year before the fire, after he told Overton's wife that Overton had been cheating on her. But they patched things up, he said, and Overton toasted the couple at their wedding.

Anthony Williams said he was satisfied with the punishment. "He feels sorry for this, I know he does," he said.

Circuit Court Judge Von Piersall could have sentenced Overton to life in prison. The prosecutor had sought at least 20 years.

Whoa dude. Can you believe this? It seems this is one of those things were you are thinking in your head, “I’m so mad right now, I could burn his house down.” Funny thing is, this guy actually did it. Article here.