Friday, October 10, 2008

How to Carve a Pumpkin

I love Halloween! I couldn't resist adding one more Halloween how-to video. This video has 10 total video segments on selecting just the right pumpkin, what kind of supplies you will need, how to properly gut a pumpkin, and many other helpful hints. The video below is an introduction to the video segment. To view the other ones as well, click this link.

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How to Apply Heath Ledger Joker Make-Up

If you want to be the Heath Ledger Joker for Halloween, this video will help you look awesome! The man doing the video, Roger Bennett Riggle, is professional make-up artist. The video below will go over each supply you will need to make the perfect Joker face for this Halloween. After watching the video, click on this link and it will have the rest of the video clips (there are 6 total video segments) to the creating the latex mouth scars, applying the make-up, and everything you need to know to complete your Joker costume.

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Literary Rules

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.

It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat)

Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

Be more or less specific.

Remarks in brackets (however relevant) are (usually) (but not always) unnecessary.

Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

No sentence fragments.

Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.

Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.

One should NEVER generalize.

Comparisons are as bad as clichés.

Don’t use no double negatives.

Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

One-word sentences? Eliminate.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

The passive voice is to be ignored.

Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

Kill all exclamation points!!!

Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.

Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.

Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”

If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

Puns are for children, not groan readers.

Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

Who needs rhetorical questions?

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.


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The hammerhead

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