Please excuse the idiots who broke my blog

Andrei Kirilenko, the 25-year-old NBA Jazz forward, reveals in the current issue of ESPN The Magazine that his wife, Masha Lopatova, mindful of the presence of women who congregate around wealthy professional athletes, has granted permission for him to indulge himself, so to speak, with another woman once per season.
A teen who pinched and twisted another boy's nipple while standing in line at a deli has been sentenced to four days in juvenile detention because he refused to write a letter that explained his actions.
David Thumler, 16, was convicted of offensive physical touching in July 2005, after the victim's parents complained to police. The Crater High School student paid a $67 fine and served three days of community service.
"I emptied trash cans, mowed lawns and shoveled gravel," Thumler said.
But Thumler's refusal to comply with the final piece of his sentence will cost him four days in detention. He was required to write the letter during four classes put on by Mediation Works, which operates the victim-offender program for Jackson County Community Justice.
The offender is required to describe the act in detail, explain "thinking errors," "express empathy" and describe any resultant life changes. Thumler said he presented a rough draft of his letter in the third session. He said he balked when told he must also describe his "criminal thought processes."
He said that would imply malicious or criminal intent, and "none of that applied to my feelings or actions." Thumler said he had no criminal intent because he considered the victim to be a friend at the time of the incident which he deemed horseplay. Including the language sought by Mediation Works, he said, would turn his prior court statements into lies.
Ken Chapman, a Community Justice juvenile probation supervisor, verified Thumler's sentence.
All this over one titty-twister… wow. Article here.
A 52-year-old Waupaca man is in jail facing felony drunken driving charges after police found him driving his car in reverse on a city street.
A Manatee County high school student could face up to a year behind bars for using his camera phone to snap photos of the state's standardized test.
Check out this chair made by Alexander Reh. The meat of the chair consists of 450 .12 gauge shotgun shells. The brass ends of the shells ‘supposedly’ create a massaging texture. I think I’ll settle with my plain cloth couch I already have at home rather than lethal shotgun shells any day of the week. However, it looks pretty f*ckin sweet.
[via Fully Loaded]
Marlene Kiraly asked her husband to hide the 3 ½ karat, uninsured diamond ring her mother gave her just before she died 23 years ago. Problem was, he did such a good job no one could remember where it was.
That was until John Kilcooley was renovating a bathroom in his home last month. Tucked away in a bag, behind a light fixture, Kilcooley found a 3 ½ karat diamond ring.
Instead of keeping it, he tracked down the home's previous owner who sold the house in 2004. His wife called Kiraly and asked if she lost something during the move.
"She started crying and said her mother's ring," John Kilcooley said. "We could have sold the ring, but if I would have lost something or she would have lost something, we'd want somebody to track us down."
The Kiralys unsuccessfully searched the house before they moved and have tried numerous ways to jog their memory.
"I went to a psychic a month ago to find out where the ring is, and she said my husband hid it really well and I would find it," Kiraly, 48, of Lake Worth said.
As a reward, the Kiralys said they would fix the Kilcooleys' hurricane-damaged outdoor screens.
I can’t imagine how furious this guy’s wife was when he first told her he didn’t remember where he put it. I mean honestly- this is one of those things you can’t ‘weasel’ your way out of. He probably slept in the garage for a month... maybe even a year? Well, atleast they found it... Article here.
Authorities shut down four buildings at Ohio University after a police officer noticed a sticker that said "this bike is a pipe bomb" before finding out the message was the name of a Florida punk rock band.