Thursday, April 13, 2006

She's just feelin' the beat...

Things that are difficult to say when drunk

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation
Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

Specificity
British Constitution
Passive-aggressive disorder
Loquacious Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

Thanks, but I don't want to have sex
Nope, no more booze for me
Sorry, but you're not really my type
Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight
Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing

Whoa!? Jeep Wrangler 4-door!

Britney drops her baby... doesn't care?

The Associated Press is reporting on April 1st, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's infant son, Sean Preston, took a nasty fall from his high chair. They didn't take him to the hospital until six days after the fall when they noticed Sean P. was sleeping too much. Doctors discovered the baby has a skull fracture and a blood clot. On April 8th, the the Department of Children and Family Services began looking into the incident.

"On April 8, L.A. sheriff's deputies arrived at Britney's Malibu home to investigate a child-abuse claim against Britney and Kevin in relation to the head injury. Such an investigation isn't unusual. According to California law, whenever a baby is brought into the hospital with a serious injury, the Department of Children and Family Services is alerted."

Well, golly gee willickers. No one saw this coming, did they? What the hell does Britney have against safety restraints, anyway? Does she think all those straps in cars and high chairs are extra strings you just snip off or tuck in the seats? I swear Pet Rocks have more common sense than this Britney. You can’t help but think that Britney really has gone from ‘Pop-Teen-Queen’ to ‘Trailer-Has-Been-Ugly-Face’.

via

The stupidest rims for a car ever...

Check out all the lightbars this dude has:

This dude claims that most of the lights still have to be disassembled (and some repaired) and cleaned up, but some of them only need a damp cloth as they were already polished a while back.

After all bars are fit to be shown, the electrical hookup will start, and all bars will be fully funcional.
Click here to see more...

eBay auction: World Record French Fry

Check out this eBay auction:

“WORLD Record 7 3/4" CULVERS French Fry
RECORD Size FOUND at Rochelle, IL Culvers on 3-31-06

** CRAZY HUGE **
Registered with Guiness Book of World Records

7" Culvers Fry went for over $200
Find at
http://collectibles.about.com/b/a/2003_07_05.htm

Sealed in a Plastic Tube to Prevent Shrinkage”
This item ended up selling for $29.99! Why the heck would you want this? I really wouldn’t care to possess the ‘world biggest French Fry’. Click here to see the actual eBay listing.

Waking up someone with a slingshot?

She just wanted his semen...?

Michael Wilford says he was simply a sperm donor. Christin Harris says he was much more than that to her.

Now, the Glenview woman wants him to provide child support and a college fund and pay medical expenses for the 2-year-old twin daughters he fathered. But the Downers Grove man says it's a case of "involuntary parentage," as he had no intention of doing anything more than provide his ex-girlfriend with the semen she needed to conceive.

The couple met on Match.com, a dating Web site, and Harris, 45, said she knew then she wanted a child. Wilford, 45, was divorcing and said he didn't want to be a parent again, but would help her.

But Harris' attorney said Wilford showered Harris with jewelry, coats and other gifts during their 15-month relationship, as they vacationed together and said they loved each other -- and he even proposed.

Later, Harris made financial demands because "Michael had rejected her" and "this is payback," Mirabelli said. But Gordon said Wilford visited with the girls three times after they were born, and his parents even flew in to see them. Wilford said he never told his parents about the birth because he saw himself as a donor.

Testimony is set to continue today and a ruling is expected later this month. Article here.

Mini-horses are cool looking

City worker uses billboard to find new job

A laid-off city worker has taken an unconventional approach to finding a job- posting an ad on a billboard.

Mary Witt, 48, has been looking for full-time work since December, when she was laid off from her City Hall secretarial job. She sought help from employment agencies and scoured Internet sites and newspapers looking for full-time work, all to no avail.

Her husband, Tim, came up with the billboard idea. He said, "The money, to be honest, was an issue. But I just thought it would get her out there."

They paid $600 for a 10-foot-tall, 22-foot wide billboard. It includes a photograph of a smiling Mary and the words: "Mary W. Administrative Assistant Looking for Employment." It will be up for a month.

"It's hard out there. That's what I want people to know," she said. "I've worked almost nonstop since I was 17 years old. I'm a worker. I don't want to sit at home."

Depending on the location of the billboard… this isn’t a darn bad idea. In fact, for $600 it’s a pretty good one (considering all the free PR you get from the news media). Hats off to Mary Witt, you sly-dog you… I hope you get the job of your dreams. Or I hope you just get a job in general. Article here.

Two goofy pictures of Jessica Simpson:

Smell-o-vision added to movie theaters?

A new "smellovision" service in Japan from a major telecommunications company will synchronize seven different smells to parts of a movie "The New World," starring Colin Farrell as colonial leader John Smith, set in early Virginia.

A floral scent accompanies a love scene, while a mix of peppermint and rosemary is emitted during a tear-jerking scene. Joy is a citrus mix of orange and grapefruit, while anger is enhanced by an herb-like concoction with a hint of eucalyptus and tea tree.

A company spokeswoman said the smells waft from special machines under the seats in the back rows of two movie theaters, which create different fragrances by controlling the mix of oils stored in the machines.

Huh… kind of cool I guess. Will they also ‘inject’ the ‘bad smells’ of the movie too? Like if a person dies… you don’t smell that do you? That’d be awful. Otherwise this is kind of cool. Article here.