Thursday, January 12, 2006

Do you want fries with that?

Husband hits wife in the back with bow-an-arrow

A husband has been accused of shooting his wife in the back with an arrow. The incident happened Sunday around 10:40 a.m. at a home in Virginia.

The prosecuting attorney with Commonwealth Attorney's Office stated in court Tuesday that Anna was shot in the back while she was running on the treadmill.

Despite efforts to save 44-year-old Anna Creamer, police say she died at the home.

Police say they responded to the same address back in November of last year for an accident involving a crossbow. Officials say in that incident, Anna Creamer was grazed by an arrow.

Neighbors tell WAVY News 10 the Creamer family had lived in the home for about three years. Anna Creamer was a teacher with the Chesapeake school system.

WTF is going on here? There has to be more to this story that we don’t know about… I mean if this is a repeat incident, isn’t this a little ‘sketchy’ ? Article here.

How to 'pimp' your kids

Couple finds half-a-million in a ditch... holy sh*t!

A couple can keep the more than half million dollars in cash they found along a highway.

Jane Gerth spotted a backpack in a ditch not far from her home. When they found $507,000 inside, her husband Dan called deputies.
The sheriff's office seized the cash and wanted to keep it under drug forfeiture laws.

But a judge has ruled the couple should get the money.

Local authorities said they planned to appeal.

Totally just like the government. Let the damn couple keep the money. Whatever happened finders keepers mother f*cker. Dicks. Article here.

This new Toyota SUV looks bad-ass doesn't it?

"FJ Cruiser is the latest in a long line of 4x4’s from Toyota and is designed to appeal to both serious off-roaders and those looking for a stylish SUV that combines practical features and state of the art comfort.

Powered by a 4.0L V6 24-valve engine, the FJ Cruiser is available with a choice of six-speed manual or five-speed automatic transmission and is equally at home on the highways as it is on mountain treks or jungle safaris."

I guarantee this SUV is affordably priced right around, oh I don’t know- how about… an arm and a leg. And you probably have to give your first born to pay for gas. Oh well.

Totally caught!

7-year old drives car into oncoming traffic...?

A 7-year-old boy's joyride ended at his home late Monday afternoon after he was pursued at low speeds for approximately three miles by Shelbyville police.

The boy has been emotionally upset since his father's military deployment, a family member explained to the Times-Gazette as a possible underlying cause of the incident.

Officers had been alerted of an erratic driver and were on the alert for a full-size Dodge pickup truck.

Officers, with blue lights and siren activated, followed the boy out 82 Bypass to Depot Street, where the truck struck a utility pole.

He slid across the double yellow line into oncoming traffic, then corrected and got back into the proper lane."

"The vehicle struck a highway sign and utility pole on the passenger side and nearly hit oncoming cars.

"He's lucky he didn't get killed," Merlo said. "If the truck's airbag had gone off, at his age and size he could have died."

The boy was driving "all over the road" but didn't reach speeds beyond 45-50 mph and at times was going as low as 35 mph.

Officers accompanied the child into his home to seek a parent, Leverette said. The child was then "taken into custody" by Leverette and is charged in juvenile court with five counts of reckless endangerment and one count each of driving without a license, leaving the scene of an accident, evading by motor vehicle and joyriding.

Juvenile charges have been filed against the youth. Article here.

A sign that you had a kick-ass party last night

The 'things my boyfriend says' website is f-funny

"Things My Boyfriend Says" is a website where a girlfriend writes/posts [as the title describes] funny conversations between herself and her boyfriend. She refers to her boyfriend as 'e'. For example:

Discussing when they make their first million dollars:

  • me: So you're going to buy me a pony, right?
  • e: No, I'm going to buy ME a pony. Made of gold. With rockets.
  • me: And then with the rest you're going to buy me a pony, right?
  • e: I don't think there will be anything left after I get my gold rocket horse.

Responding to the television where a man is telling someone to "get right with God":

  • e: Ha, get right with my cock fucko.
  • me: Am i right with your cock?
  • e: We'll have to check.
  • me: Does it involve a litmus test?
  • e: It's more of a taste test.

Click here to read more from this hilarious website.

15% of U.S. Employees are at work drunk

More than 7 percent of American workers have a drink during the workday and more than 9 percent have shown up for work with a hangover.

In a study of more than 2,800 employed adults nationwide, researchers at the University at Buffalo found that young, single men are the ones who imbibe most often during the workday, which includes lunch.

Among the professions, the report points to managers, salespeople, restaurant workers and those in the media as the biggest offenders.

"The misuse of alcohol by employed adults is an important social policy issue with the potential to undermine employee productivity and safety," study leader Michael Frone said.

Who says you can’t kick back and enjoy a ‘beer-thirty’ every once and a while? (as long as your boss allows it) Honestly, work doesn’t have to be a rigid corporate hell all the time. Michael Frone… you suck. Article here.

Jay Leno phony photo booth is pretty funny

Late night TV hosts usually are not that funny (except for Conan Obrien). However, this sketch that was on the The Tonight Show with Jay Leno... is freakin’ hilarious. Totally worth your time, and a guaranteed great chuckle. Click here to watch the the video.

(click image to watch video)

Yes, finally a iPod accessory that I want to buy

Actually I'm not buying this thing. I just wanted you to read this. However, just in case you are not keeping up with all the freakin’ cases that are being released for iPods… here is an update. Introducing the TuneBuckle. The completely unnecessary hippie dorky accessory of the year. It’s a leather belt that has a place to stick your iPod Nano. You will absolutely be know as the iPod dork sporting this thing around… but hey, looks pretty functional to me. Pre-order one now for $50.

Billionaires have some pretty nice cribs... damn!

Forbes magazine just came out with a cool slideshow of the homes of the ultra wealthy... check out all the houses you wish you had. Trust me, you'll be surprised about some of the houses you'll see in this slideshow (Steve Jobs, Warren Buffett, Michael Dell).


(click to enlarge)

Van crashes through small-town diner

A man drove his vehicle into the front of a restaurant Monday afternoon, an accident that miraculously resulted in no injuries.

Estill Trail, 84, otherwise known as "Hammer Handle," has been a permanent fixture in front of the White Barn for years, selling wooden handles and other odds and ends out of his car. The diner, owned by Donna Hopkins and Wanda Shelton, is attached to the Garrard County Stockyards on U.S. 27.

"The van ended up stopping about two feet from where we were sitting."

Denney said it's amazing that no one was hurt. "Some of us brushed glass off our heads and faces, but no one was even cut."

A man who had been sitting at the table that the van plowed into and destroyed had just gotten up and moved seconds before the crash occurred, Hopkins said.

Trail was sitting outside the cafe, having a frozen dinner for lunch while stockyard employees assisted Hopkins with the repair. He said his foot slipped off the brake pedal and onto the gas.

Trail pushed the gas long enough to go over the curb and through the front of the diner, leaving a black indention in the concrete where his back tire spun. Denney said the air was nothing but smoke for minutes.

"He said he hit the gas instead of the brakes, so it was just a bad mistake," Hopkins said.

The back of his van was filled with several German shepherd-mix pups that Trail offered for $10 a pop. He said one of them landed on the dash when the van finally came to a stop inside the diner.

You gotta love small-town America… providing us with the great stories to chuckle at, but even better commentary. Article here.