Tuesday, April 29, 2008

You should really check a logo at all angles.

Overheard on the streets of New York:

Chick: Since we broke up you've been smoking a lot.
Guy: Yeah...
Chick: You shouldn't smoke.
Guy: You shouldn't suck so much dick but you don't hear me criticize you five times a day.
Chick: [Mouth wide open in shock.]
Guy: To start you should try closing your mouth!
--B Train

Dad to pre-teen daughter about mom: She is on the rag today. Don't talk to her this moringing, she's got an attitude.
--R Train

Homeless man: Hello, everyone. My name is Mike*, and I'm homeless and starving. If you have any- [His cell phone rings.] Excuse me. [Picks up phone.] I'm working, man, what's up?
--Q Train

Woman dragging her dog away from another dog who is barking frantically: You know what? You're just cuter than her. That's why she's so upset.
--Ditmars Blvd, Astoria

White Girl: I'm leaving this city, it's all just bed bugs and bad drugs.
--Queensboro Plaza

Upper-East-Side lady on cell: I know, but I was at a funeral all day...Yeah, it was sad, but I really didn't know him at all...This saddest thing was seeing his daughters upset. They're the same ages as--Wow! This shirt is only $19!! You can't even buy a freaking Frappuccino for $19! I'm getting it in blue.
--Banana Republic, 86th & 3rd

Male student #1: Your sister has the best tasting punani in New York.
Male student #2: I'll pay for lunch if you promise not to say that again.
--Columbia University
via

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WTF.

An honest R&B song about sex.

Hilarious Valedictorian speech

Dude on "Britain's Got Talent", performs 'Michael Jackson'

If Emily Dickinson wrote a telegram about roadkill...

Dude tries to skate board on a treadmill.

New York woman, 44, drives 18 hours for sex with teen boy

An woman who drove roughly 18 hours to northwestern Wisconsin, allegedly in hopes of having a sexual tryst with a teenage boy she befriended online, remains jailed on attempted sex assault charges.

Tracy Taylor, 44, was in Circuit Court Monday morning. A judge set bail at $50,000 bail before Taylor was sent back to county jail pending another appearance next week.

Wisconsin authorities were tipped off to the planned sexual encounter by the teen's mother after the boy confided to his sister that he been corresponding online with a woman he believed to be 30 years old, according to a criminal complaint. The document says the boy, identified in the court document as "JJF," told his sister he planned to spend the weekend with the woman. The woman said she would bring condoms, according to the court papers.

As part of the investigation, the county sheriff's detective on the case reviewed text messages, including one from April 22 where the boy asked "Will we be able to have sex?" to which the woman allegedly replied: "I hope so. I love you."

Police obtained a search warrant. After Taylor checked into Room 103, police found condoms, candles, baby oil and bottles of alcoholic beverages. Additionally, they found a letter from the teen giving his age, said the criminal complaint.

Taylor and the boy had been chatting online for about three months before they started talking on the phone and via text messages, Hanson said. » Article here

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B.R.B.

Sorry, no posts today. Swamped with work tonight, not to mention I'm also working on a presentation I'm giving tomorrow at the University of Kansas. Posts will resume tomorrow.
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