Dude puts his own baby in the freezer?

A Canadian man who could not figure out how to deal with his girlfriend's feverish 10-month-old daughter put the baby into a freezer to cool her down, a local newspaper reported on Friday.

Derrick Hardy faces charges of criminal negligence and assaulting the infant, who was rescued when her mother came home, the Charlottetown Guardian said.

The Canadian Broadcasting Corp. said the mother found the girl crammed into the freezer alongside ice cubes and hamburger meat. Hardy said he had left the door ajar but the mother said it had been closed when she returned.

He told a court the child had only been in the freezer for about 40 seconds. Hardy, 21, who admitted to police that he had no real parenting skills to deal with a sick child, said he had noticed the girl was very hot and put a cool cloth on her face, but this had no effect.

He then carried the girl outside into the night air but, frustrated that this also did not work and worried she might drown if placed in a cold bath, he put the baby into the kitchen freezer. She was wearing only an undershirt. Hardy has pleaded not guilty to the charges. The baby's grandmother now has custody of the girl. Article here.

No diving? What about jumping off of decks?

My post Thanksgiving cell phone text-message rant

So… after a very familiar and routine visit to my parents for Thanksgiving, I’ve returned home to KC. I did however manage to swallow a couple pieces of turkey at dinner, but as I mentioned before I didn’t enjoy it. Thankful, I soaked it in enough BBQ sauce I couldn’t even really taste the meat [smirk].

On another note… I’m not sure if it’s just me, but I’ve been noticing a trend with my friends and their cell phones (and I’m not sure if I like it). Have you ever received / been victim of a ‘mass- text-message’ ? This is where one of your friends sends a huge text message to everyone in their cell phone contact list. Common messages are, “Happy Thanksgiving, eat lots of turkey” or “Enjoy [insert holiday or sporting event, etc]”.

Over the holiday break I managed to waste my time thinking about this new trend/ phenomenon -- it got me to thinking… I really despise when people do this. To me, the person who sent the text message might as well have sent, “Hey, I’m too lazy to write a personalized message to you specifically, so I’ll just send you this generic message to let you know I’m semi-kinda-thinking of you. I’m thinking of you, but not enough to take the time to send you a direct message. If you write back, I might consider writing a personalized message. Thanks, bye.”

In my mind, I classify this practice as ‘personal text-message SPAM”. In my opinion, it’s bad etiquette and bad form. I’d rather not get a message at all if a person is going to send me some generic message. So… tell your friends, to tell their friends, to stop ‘personal text-message SPAM’. And if you really want to get crafty about it, draft up a huge text message on your cell phone and send it to a bunch of your friends [wink, wink].

- Ramsey

An interesting way to shoot a basketball

Wife shoots husband in head, saved by recliner?

A man sitting in his easy chair was shot in the head by his wife, but the sturdy recliner absorbed most of the bullet's force and left him virtually unscathed.

The couple had been arguing at home on Sunday evening, said Contra Costa County sheriff. Then Jan Kamp stood behind her seated husband and fired a gun at the back of his head, Skuce said.

Because she fired through the recliner, the bullet only slightly wounded Norman Kamp, 57, Skuce said. Norman stood up from his chair, followed his wife into the kitchen and declared, "You shot me," according to authorities.

Jan Kamp fired a second shot at her husband, but missed, Skuce said. He retreated to a neighbor's house in the unincorporated Pacheco area of the county, where he called 911.

After talking to deputies, Norman Kamp was treated at a hospital and released. Jan Kamp, 58, was arrested on suspicion of attempted murder and booked at County Jail in Martinez. Article here.

Britney Spears without make-up, ewwwww

Various odds to how you will die in life:

Heart disease
1 in 5

Cancer
1 in 7

Stroke
1 in 24

Motor vehicle accident
1 in 84

Suicide
1 in 119

Falling
1 in 218

Firearm assault
1 in 314

Pedestrian accident
1 in 626

Drowning
1 in 1,008

Motorcycle accident
1 in 1020

Fire or smoke
1 in 1,113

Accidental electrocution
1 in 9,968

Hot weather
1 in 13,729

Hornet, wasp, or bee sting
1 in 56,789

Execution
1 in 62,468

Lightning
1 in 79,746

Earthquake
1 in 117,127

Flood
1 in 144,156

Fireworks discharge
1 in 340,733

See the full list here.

World's largest rubber band ball = 4,500+ pounds

A rubber band ball is pushed to a scale for a weigh-in before its certification by officials from Guinness World records as the world's largest. The ball, weighing 4,594 pounds, was created by Steve Milton, of Eugene, Ore., using more than 175,000 rubber bands.

Jamie Foxx is going to beat up "Kramer"

After Michael Richards' racist rant last week, Jaime Foxx has threatened to physically beat up the former Seinfeld star. Regardless of the fact that Richards did apologize, Foxx doesn't care. Foxx said: "When I see him, it's on. I'm not going to let him get away with it. If I'd have been in the audience he would've had to put his dukes up. He probably should go get a private island somewhere, cause if I see him ..." Source.

Dude... wait, what?

Wife throws boiling water at husband

A husband suffered severe burns to his chest and face when his wife threw boiling hot water on him while he slept early Tuesday morning, police said.

Jean Schmidt, 63, admitted to police she boiled water and threw it at her husband, Michael, because she felt he was tampering with the hot water heater.

Michael Schmidt was flown to Lehigh Valley Hospital’s burn unit for severe burns to his face, chest and arms, police said.

Jean Schmidt remains jailed at the Luzerne County Correctional Facility for lack of $2,500 bail. She was charged with aggravated assault and recklessly endangering another person, according to arrest papers. Article here.

Damit, Ashley passed out naked again!

Lost in Translation, "German Coast Guard"

Kate Winslet's body inspired new Jaguar car?

Actress Kate Winslet says her body was the inspiration for Scottish engineer Ian Callum's design for the newest Jaguar model.

The "Titanic" star said during a recent TV appearance that Callum had used her body as a guide when creating the image for the new Jaguar XK coupe, the Times of London reported.

The 31-year-old actress said the designer saw her as "the perfect woman" -- and while he used her as his inspiration, she admits she isn't happy with the end results. "The headlights are too small. They will have to go," Winslet said. "And it needs a bar under the dashboard with pink and blue neon lights, umbrellas and pineapples."

Callum confirmed Winslet's story, but offered no response to her critique of his work. "Kate Winslet is my ideal woman," he told the Times. "She is naturally a very shapely woman, very British with an underlying integrity and ability. Like a car, she has got substance; she is not just a pretty face. "So I designed the new XK body with her in mind," he added. Article here.

Screw it man, I give up, I’m calling for delivery.

Teachers are idiots when it comes to apostrophes

Teachers' shaky grasp of grammar and punctuation has been exposed in a survey of the nation's literacy skills. Two-thirds made a basic apostrophe mistake in a test administered to more than 2,000 workers from key professions. Eight per cent even muddled the use of I and me.

Teachers made a string of blunders despite being responsible for drumming correct English into the next generation. Among other errors, teachers slipped up on the correct use of apostrophes, with many making the classic "greengrocer's" error.

Plural nouns in English do not have an apostrophe - as in "newspapers" - but the rule is often broken. Shopkeepers sometimes advertise apple's and pear's for sale, hence the term greengrocer's apostrophe.

In the punctuation test, two thirds wrongly tried to place an apostrophe before or after the "s" in the sentence "The 70s was a great decade for music". Nearly half failed to use the apostrophe correctly in "The Smiths' house is a disused windmill".

Another exercise required workers to choose the correct word in the sentence "I implied/inferred/ensued from his art collection that he was extremely wealthy".

Seven per cent wrongly picked "implied" while a similar proportion believed the answer was "ensued". Eleven per cent thought it was "none of the above" while seven per cent passed on the question altogether. Some eight per cent failed to give the correct answer to a question requiring respondents to choose between "I" and "me".

The findings prompted recruitment agency Kelly Services, which conducted the online test, to declare that teachers were not the "grammar gurus" they claimed to be. Article here.

New music trend: "Euro-Power-Pop"

A fun game for you to play 'with' your kids?

[dumbass] Teen jumps off 25-foot ledge with bike

An 18-year-old was seriously injured Sunday after he attempted to ride a bicycle off a 25-foot-high ledge onto a hill on the grounds of a San Francisco High School.

Christopher White set up a camera on a tripod to record the jump. The incident was also filmed by two Foothill High students who happened to see White right before his jump. The students did not try to talk White out of jumping, police said, and called 9-1-1afterward.

"He came short of being completely paralyzed from the neck down," Livermore Pleasanton Fire Battalion Chief Glenn Haendel said.

"They (the two students) found an individual who took his bike and did a Jackass stunt," Haendel said, referring to a TV show where people perform dangerous and painful stunts for amusement. "He had taken his bike ... off a 25-foot-tall building."

Pleasanton police Sgt. Craig Eicher described the building as being a concrete utility shed in the middle of campus. On one side the building was only five feet off the ground, but on the other side, which faced a grassy hill, it was 25 feet high.

The two students were working on a video project at the school. "White told the students that he had done this before," Eicher said. White attempted the jump and crash-landed on the grass at the bottom of the hill.

"When he impacted the ground, what hit first was the front tire and his face," Haendel said. White was airlifted by Calstar to Regional Medical Center in San Jose, a spinal injury facility, 30 minutes later. Article here.

Fighting in bikinis, new movie "Dead or Alive".

This is a clip from the new Dead or Alive movie, which is an adaptation of the best selling video game. Jaime Pressly is probably the biggest star in the movie, but it also features Sarah Carter.

Amazing Ronaldinho soccer 'bicycle-kick' goal

Movie Review: 'Tenacious D, Pick of Destiny'

Critics are having a tough time figuring out just what to make of Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny, based on the Jack Black-Kyle Gass show on HBO. Kevin Crust in the Los Angeles Times even suggests that it "might best be enjoyed in an enhanced state of consciousness," a film in need of "an herbal supplement, and we aren't talking ginkgo biloba."

Of course, the characters in the movie are seen enjoying such supplements, leading Stephen Rae in the Philadelphia Inquirer to remark that it gives "the term 'potty humor' a new meaning." Michael Phillips in the Chicago Tribune suggests it's probably the real stuff, too. "A large amount of dope is smoked in The Pick of Destiny," he writes, "perhaps the most since the salad days of Cheech & Chong. Stephen Holden in the New York Times suggests that, approached in the right frame of mind, the film could be viewed as a "jolly rock 'n' roll comedy." He concludes: "As it wobbles from one episode to the next, "The Pick of Destiny" is a garish mess, and some of it feels padded. But it has enough jokes to keep you smiling, and the spirit Mr. Black brings to it is a fervent (and touching) affection for the music he spoofs but obviously adores." Source.