Thursday, June 01, 2006

The stare down...

Ice Cream truck driver charged with DUI

Police say they found a nearly empty pint bottle of vodka between the front seats of an ice cream truck after they pulled over the driver for swerving into the wrong lane.

Goshen Police Patrolman Jared Baer spotted the yellow-and-white van in a subdivision, after several motorists called Saturday to report the swerving vehicle in the city about 25 miles southeast of South Bend, police said.

The van was stopped, and the driver was selling ice cream to children, so Baer waited until Dennis D. Cogburn, 51, of Bowie, Texas, started up again.

Baer said he followed the van and pulled it over after Cogburn failed to signal turns and swerved into the wrong lane. Cogburn failed field sobriety tests and was arrested on a preliminary charge of driving under the influence of alcohol.

Cogburn reported having chest pains, so he was taken to a hospital, where a test showed his blood-alcohol level was 0.24 percent, three times the state's legal level to drive a car.

Baer impounded the ice cream van and found the nearly empty bottle of vodka, he reported. Article here.

Beating the system…

Overheard on the streets of New York:

Twentysomething guy: The quality of life here is so bad...I mean, if you enjoy drinking all night and having random sex, you'll like living in New York.
-5th Ave & 9th St

Hipster on cell: You make me so horny I want to split a tab of xstacy and shove it up your ass.
-11th & 2nd

Really trendy girl #1: So do you want to go tanning after the gym?
Really trendy girl #2: Yeah, but I don't want to get skin cancer.
Really trendy girl #1: Yeah, me neither. That's why I wear underwear.
-42nd & Lex

Girl #1: Oh my god. My boyfriend just cheated on me.
Girl #2: Holy shit! Which one?
-Olive & Bette's, W Broadway & Spring

Girl #1: I just want to break her spine so that she can't walk anymore.
Girl #2: Break her spine...?
Girl #1: Because she can walk around. And that's what's pissing me off.
-4 train
(via OHINY)

Why? ...because he can

via

Katie Couric's last day on the Today Show

Katie Couric had her last morning as a co-anchor of the "Today Show."

Throughout her record 15-year tenure, Ms. Couric was easy to love and at times fun to hate, but she was always the most vibrant personality on network television. Her popularity helped keep NBC's "Today" the top-rated morning program for more than a decade, and it is still the most profitable show on television. NBC, a network that has no shame when it comes to milking finales and farewells, pulled out all the stops yesterday. The three-hour Katiefest, which even she described as a "celebration of moi, ad nauseam," was by turns maudlin, mocking, touching and over the top.

All that excess was quite fitting: Ms. Couric, who is moving to CBS to become the first female solo anchor of a network evening news program, is a dominant force in television and for many viewers has been the first face they saw in the morning.

I’m not sure what I’m going to do now. I look forward to waking up to Katie Couric everyday! She’s like a second mom! Now, I have to put up with Meredith Vieira from the View?!? That sucks. My life is ruined. Article here.

BMW police chase ends pretty bad

One sweet-ass apartment setup... CarLoft

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This looks like a good time to me

via

Okay, Okay, I'll buy the viagra!

Taken from http://www.zug.com/pranks/viagra:

How many e-mails do the Viagra people have to send me? "73% off VIAGRA!" they scream at me.

I get a hundred of these e-mails a day. Clearly, the online Viagra people know something about my penis that I don't. So my reasoning went like this: maybe if I bought some of their sweet precious Viagra, they would shut the hell up. As a bonus, I would actually own some Viagra, which I could use to surprise my wife on Valentine's Day. "Oh, darling!" my wife would exclaim. "Twelve hours of painful, nonstop intercourse? You shouldn't have!"

So I did it. I took the bait. I spent a day surfing the Viagra sites, and I was shocked by what I found. I had expected unethical, quasi-legal Web sites dispensing dangerously inaccurate medical advice. Instead, I found unethical, quasi-legal Web sites dispensing dangerously inaccurate medical advice from people dressed up to look like doctors. Click here to read more...

Damn, these girls are flexible!

Mom has sex with boy, gives him M-Benz

A 39-year-old New York woman was arrested today for allegedly having sex with a 16-year-old boy whose suspicious mother called cops when he showed up one day driving a Mercedes-Benz that he said was a gift from the woman.

According to Nassau County cops, Lisa Frodella, married mother of two, had "multiple sexual encounters" with the boy, including trysts this year at Long Island hotels. Frodella, pictured below in a Nassau County Police Department mug shot, has been charged with two counts of rape and two counts of criminal sexual act. The Benz, a 2002 model, was subsequently sold by Frodella, though it is unclear whether she took the car back from the boy or whether he returned the vehicle (presumably at his family's direction). Article here.

One fat-ass dog

My husband is on the terrorist watch list:

Taken from this article here:

My husband is not a terrorist.

He's not an ex-convict, a felon or on the lam, and if you don't count the occasional Post-it notes or paper clips that come home with him from the office, he's not even a petty thief.

But so far, he's had trouble convincing the government of this.

Every time he flies, regardless of the airline, he gets flagged when he checks in because he's on our government's terrorist watch list. As it was explained to us the first time it happened, something about his name, Michael Patrick O'Brien, creates the need for an airline manager to clear him.

This involves the manager taking a look at my husband and his driver's license and disappearing into the bowels of the airport. We assume this is where the manager accesses a secret computer that somehow confirms my husband is actually just a boringly normal person harboring no nefarious plans.

He's tried in vain to fix the problem. As instructed by a voice at the other end of an 800 number provided to him by an airline agent, he downloaded and filled out a government-issued form and attached three notarized forms of identification: his passport, license and voter registration card.

Although he was irritated that he had to prove his non-terrorist status instead of the government being required to fix its mistake, he faithfully mailed his application for innocence and waited for notice of freedom to arrive. Surprisingly, a response came within a couple of weeks. The Transportation Security Administration sent him a letter that could only have been written by a government lawyer. A sentence reads, "Where it has been determined that a correction to records is warranted, these records have been modified to address any delay or denial of boarding that you may have experienced as a result of the watch list screening process."

My husband read the sentence eight times and arrived at the following conclusion: Thanks to the "is warranted" part of that sentence, the problem wasn't necessarily fixed. He was right.


Click here to read the full article.