Thursday, February 09, 2006

This guy was on 1st base, then he stole home

Britney is slowly turning into Michael Jackson

Earlier this week, photos of Britney Spears driving her SUV in Malibu, Calif. -with her 5-month-old son, Sean Preston, sitting in her lap were released.Spears insists that she was acting on maternal instinct, not recklessness, saying she was trying to escape paparazzi and didn't have time to buckle her son into the infant car seat.

"I was terrified that this time the physically aggressive paparazzi would put both me and my baby in danger," she said in a statement released late Monday. "I instinctively took measures to get my baby and me out of harm's way, but the paparazzi continued to stalk us."

However, the photo agency that took the pictures, X17, claims its shutterbugs were snapping away in peace."Those pictures were taken in a very peaceful context, in which photographers exhibited no aggressive behavior," the agency said in a statement released to "Extra."

The LA County Department of Chidren and Family Services (DCFS) has contacted the LA County Sheriff's Department, inquiring about Britney driving with her baby on her lap without proper child restraint.

Britney keeps on racking up incident after incident of ‘eccentric’ incidents that nobody really understands. Not to mention her husband, Kevin Federline. She hasn’t released a new album with completely all new material in three years. Somehow this past year (2005) she was the number one search keyword for Yahoo. What does this all add up to?

Can you see it yet? Yep, she is slowly catching the cold hard virus deemed Michael Jackon’itous (or that’s what I’m calling it). If she doesn’t straighten up and do something to reestablish herself as a sane individual in the A-list community, mark my words- her downfall will be just as cold hard and twisted as Michaels.

Woman whistles through her toes? WTF?

An Oklahoma woman takes whistling to a whole new low- she whistles through her toes.

Betty Bell learned to whistle through her toes as a kid. She said she started her strange talent when she found she couldn't whistle through her fingers.

Bell is in New York trying to get a spot on David Letterman's late-night TV segment "Stupid Human Tricks." A friend painted a likeness of Letterman on one of her toes in hopes of bringing her luck.

WTF? Why in the world would you even ever think to try this. F*ckin gross! No seriously, I don’t care how cool it is that she can do this. Feet = ewwww! Article here.

Get noticed at the office: The Mini Car Desk

Mini Statement Car Desk that is shaped like a car. Not much information about the desk is available except that it is priced at $4,422. Way to expensive for one tacky-ass desk. It’s only a matter of time till some CEO has a ‘Hummer H2’ desk.

Overheard on the streets of New York:

Yale guy on cell: Oh, you'll like this. So, I hooked up with this girl this weekend, and got a handjob from her...But, the thing is, she had one hand...No, she had an arm, just no hand. And she gave me a handjob. With the other one...I started laughing when she started giving me a handjob, because, well...Yeah. The irony of the whole thing...Yeah, but she was real hot...Huge boobs...I think I'm gonna try and hook up with her again and see if she'll rub my balls...Yeah, man, with the other one...The other...Yeah.

-Metro-North train

Hipster guy: Two black guys fucking two white bitches on Martin Luther King day. That shit's trippy. I bet that was what that whole "I have a dream" shit was really about. The right to fuck white bitches.

-Starbucks, 28th & 3rd

Teen girl: So they're like the von Trapps.
Chick: If the von Trapps wore Homestar t-shirts and were Tunisian, then sure.
Teen girl: And hot.
Chick: Yeah, the von Trapps did nothing for me in The Sound of Music. My mom's dog died the day that movie came out. I guess maybe subconsciously that has something to do with their not-hotness.
Teen girl: What about the Nazi thing?
Chick: The von Trapps weren't Nazis, were they?

-JFK Airport
[via OHINY]

Dear Captain...

The coolest lawn mower ever made

What is the ultimate ‘pimped’ guy lawn mower? The one made by Callies Kustoms. This lawn mower was made using a guy’s parents lawnmower. The engine was rebuilt using all forged internals to withstand the tremendous forces of the nitrous Oxide system.

That’s right, it has nitrous.

The nitrous oxide is a NOS powershot wet system. The mowing blade is also custom forged to stand up to the 12,000 RPM redline.
The nitrous Oxide is only used when going through the heaviest of weeds and brambles. A Cherry Bomb muffler was added after the many complaints from our neighborhood.

This is freakin’ awesome. Totally unnecessary, but freakin’ awesome. Click here to see the official site.

Nicky Hilton's Phone Number Is 917-929-0223

It has been confirmed that Nicky Hilton's phone number has gone public. It all happened when Deadspin, the man who owns A.J. Daulerio, got a hold of it. He was in Detroit and mingling with celebrities at a party when he somehow got the digits of Nicky's phone.

Leave comments on your experience calling her. Let me know what happens. Again, that number is 917-929-0223. I tried, got her voicemail.

[via Darkhat]

Little Timmy always had a big head

Pets in uniform... kind of freaky, and expensive

So every once and a while you stumble upon a business that just doesn’t make any sense. For example,

“Imagine: your dog, cat, or other pet in full military regalia. We make this fantasy a reality. Using the latest digital techniques, we combine a photo of your pet with the uniform and background of your choice.”

Cost: $19.99

Are you serious? People actually pay $20 for their pet to be ‘digitally’ imposed in a uniform. Ludicrous, absolutely ludicrous. Click here to see more examples of ‘pets in uniform.’ I pray that you don’t spend your hard earned money at this site.

Saddam Hussein floating in a water tank

In this photo released by the Czech artist David Cerny, his sculpture of former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein is shown on display. The sculpture, which depicts a tied-up Saddam Hussein floating in a water tank, was banned by the mayor of a western Belgian town because it was deemed too controversial, an official said.

Looks pretty crazy to me. Kind of eerie.

Man runs 1,576 steps up Empire State Building

Reaching the 86th floor of the Empire State Building, Thomas Dold let out a roar worthy of King Kong on Tuesday after climbing 1,576 steps and breaking the tape to win the race up New York's tallest building.

The German claimed his first major tower-race victory, while Andrea Mayr of Austria won her third Empire State Building Run-Up title in a row in record time.

"When you finish first, it's a feeling like you're above the top of the world," said 26-year-old Mayr, who completed the 2-mile race in 11 minutes 23 seconds to slice 28 seconds off the course record she set last year. "It's like flying." Dold, 21, roared in delight as he broke the tape in 10 minutes 19 seconds and erased the bitter disappointment of his near-miss last year.

"The Empire State Building is one of the greatest events one can take part in for a tower runner," said a beaming Dold after winning the 29th annual race. "I can't describe it."

Dude, this guy ran 1500+ steps. F*ck that, I struggle with the own steps in my house. Read the full article here.

Small possum and a small turtle, cool!

Teen using restroom falls out bus window

A New York City teenager fell out the window of a moving bus while using the restroom Tuesday and landed on the New York State Thruway.

State police said Jose Gonzales, 17, lost his balance when the chartered bus swerved to change lanes. It was unclear how fast the bus was going.

Gonzales was taken to Albany Medical Center for treatment. Police said he'll recover. Gonzales fell onto the shoulder of the thruway near Exit 23 southbound. He had been at the Capitol on Tuesday to lobby with a group on the issue of AIDS.

Talk about getting caught with your pants down. Hahaha, I had to say it. Article here.