Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Can you see it?

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Drunk dude awakes inside back of garbage truck

William M. Bowen woke up after a night of drinking with friends and realized he was inside a commercial trash-collection truck full of waste.

The driver had just emptied a commercial trash bin into his truck and was about to activate its compactor when he heard Bowen screaming.


"He looked up and this gentleman was standing out the top of our truck," said Larry Green, market safety supervisor for the Rumpke waste disposal company. Green said the only thing Bowen said to the driver was that he was cold.

"This gentleman was extremely intoxicated," he said. Bowen told police he had been drinking with buddies at a Muncie bar until about 3 a.m. Thursday. But he said he didn't recall how he ended up inside the trash bin, and he wouldn't tell police who his drinking pals were. » Article here

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For a homeless guy, he's pretty clever.

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Tumbling miscalculation.

Girl who left fetus in airplane trash probably won't be charged

The 14-year-old girl told police she didn't know she was pregnant. "We are dealing with a scared child at this point," says a cop. She delivered a stillborn fetus in a plane bathroom while returning from a school field trip. » Full article here

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The one on the right is pretty cute.

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Maggot finds stowaway... in a woman's head.

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New collagen injection enhances women's G-spot

A collagen injection which is designed to enhance women's pleasure around the G-spot is being launched in the UK. The G-Shot, which is given under local anaesthetic and takes about half an hour, is being hailed as the latest lunchtime procedure.

A specially designed speculum is used to help direct the injection into the G-spot, with effects lasting around four months. This makes the G-spot easier to locate and highly sensitive, which it is claimed could enhance sexual arousal and gratification. » Full article here

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They sell 'tramp stamps' at Toys R us? WTF.

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Barak Obama sucks at bowling.

"Obama did improve, nearly getting a strike in one frame, and in the seventh, picking up a spare, giving him a score of 37." » Full article here

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Children find woman's severed head on beach.

Children playing on a Scottish beach discovered a woman's severed head in a plastic bag, police said on Tuesday.

The discovery, along with a hand was made by children playing on the beach," a statement said. "They found what appears to be the head of a woman concealed in a plastic bag. A hand has also been recovered from the beach." » Article here

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You know you've had a good Spring Break when...

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Dude charged for having sex with patio table

Police in Ohio say that a married father of three has confessed to repeatedly having sex with his patio picnic table. Art Price, Jr., 40, has been charged with four counts of public indecency after a neighbor videotaped him getting all nasty with the umbrella hole in the middle of his plastic picnic table. Apparently preferring the table's legs in the air, Price reportedly flipped the table over before forcing himself inside of it.

Price admitted that his skeevy antics took place both inside and outside of his home, and police say he did his table humping in broad daylight, not far from a school. » Full article and video interviews here

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How'd they not get kicked out?

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7-year-old's cancer patient's PSP, medicine, homework stolen

A 7-year-old with cancer was robbed of his bag, containing his PSP, medication, and homework, on the day before his birthday, while on his way to chemotherapy. » Full article here

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Read the caption provided below:

"Got arrested a few days ago for underage drinking at a party. There were over 40 kids there from a few surrounding towns. Ended up in jail at 5 in the morning. I sat in a cell with 4 other kids from the party. We got bored and played leap frog in the middle of the cell. Then starting dancing in our boxers. We were then all put in seperate cells for "homosexual behavior." I came home the next day with this friend request."

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Borat's version of 'Baywatch' = 'DrownWatch'

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Woman at airport forced to remove nipple ring.

A Texas woman said she wants an apology from security agents and a civil rights investigation because she was forced to remove a nipple ring with pliers in order to board an airplane.

Mandi Hamlin said she had trouble removing one of her piercings and had to ask for pliers. She said male security agents snickered as she took out the ring.

After what she calls a "nightmare" experience, she said she was scanned again and allowed to board even though she still was wearing a belly button ring. Hamlin's lawyer said legal action is possible if the Transportation Security Administration doesn't apologize for the humiliation and pain her client endured. » Article here

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...he came out as a butterfly.

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Mascot terrorizes kids during Spring Break.

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Geeeew, truck spills 500 pounds of liquid lard on streets.

After a winter of snow, freezing rain, and sleet, authorities in Jacksonville probably thought they didn't have to worry about slippery streets any more. Three blocks of downtown Morton Avenue were affected by a spill of liquid lard -- 500 pounds of it.

The inside, westbound lane of traffic on Morton was closed for three hours while 10 city employees armed with brooms, shovels and a chemical compound cleaned up the pork fat. » Article here

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Get me out of here.

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Cruel joke on epilepsy web forum with flashing lights

Unknown miscreants had a good time two weekends ago when they posted hundreds of flashing animated images onto discussion boards of an Epilepsy Foundation.

Flashing lights or bold moving patterns can trigger often violent seizures among 3 percent of the estimated 50 million epileptics worldwide. "I was on the phone when it happened, and I couldn't move and couldn't speak," RyAnne Fultz, who has epilepsy, told Wired News about her reaction to viewing one of the images.

Fultz's 11-year-old son walked over and closed the browser window after about 10 seconds. Fortunately, she suffered nothing more than a bad headache. By then, the second day of vandalism on EpilepsyFoundation.org, the jerks had moved on to hijacking the browsers of anyone who clicked on certain forum posts, filling the screens with bright, flashing colors. » Full article here
(thanks Chris A.)

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