If you're going to let your kid drive you home because you're drunk, at least make sure they have a license...okay, as long as they're old enough...

While a designated driver is a good idea if you've been drinking, Goshen Township police said one woman's driver was a bit too young. An officer said he pulled over Marya Green. The officer said that when he came to the driver's window, he found that Green's 1-year-old son was at the wheel, sitting in Green's lap. Green, 29, registered a .11 percent blood-alcohol level. Two other children, ages 8 and 5, were also in the car.

Green was arrested and faces charges of DUI, driving under OVI suspension, noncompliance, and endangering children. Police said this is Green's third DUI arrest in six years.

Man admits to killing his wife and says he doesn't know why

It took all of seven words for Matthew Gretz to seal his own fate. "I stabbed and intentionally killed my wife," Gretz, the husband of Minneapolis art student Kira Simonian, told Hennepin County District Judge Robert Blaeser on Monday.

The 33-year-old Minneapolis man originally had cast himself as the grieving husband who was as much a victim, a role he played to the hilt during a candlelight vigil after his wife's death. Then, the evidence mounted. Two months later, he was charged with murder.

Gretz, 33, pleaded guilty to second-degree intentional murder for stabbing Simonson about 15 times in the chest and neck and smashing her head with a hammer last June 28. According to the charges, Gretz chased Simonian around their south Minneapolis apartment during the bizarre and bloody attack, screaming, "Do you love me?"

I nearly lost my lunch when I saw this photo.

3 accused of using corpse head to smoke pot

The teenager's story of decapitating a corpse and using the head to smoke marijuana was so outlandish that at first Houston Police Department senior officer Jim Adkins did not believe it.

Yet, Kevin Wade Jones Jr., 17, appeared almost indifferent as he relayed the bizarre description of his and two friends' activities. Houston police believe the teens disturbed the grave of an 11-year-old boy who died in 1921. The child was buried at an unmarked cemetery believed to be reserved for black veterans and their families, Adkins said.

Under the law, a person can be charged with abuse of a corpse simply by vandalizing, damaging or treating a gravesite offensively — even if the human remains buried there are not touched, Adkins said.

Dude gets 100 shotgun pellets to the face, neck & back.

A man survived a shot in the back during a hunting trip Sunday, leaving more than 100 shotgun pellets in his face, neck and back.

Brent Rose, an avid and long- time hunter, suffered the blow while turkey hunting near Grangeville with a few friends. Rose was within reach of a turkey he had been chasing when he heard someone behind him. He tried to whistle to alert the three hunters to his presence, but said his lips were too dry.

"I waived my hand to let them know I was there," he said. "I saw them looking at me, and then boom. I was face down on the ground holding the back of my head and screaming for my life."

Dad plays video games at hotel while toddlers wander free

Lavon Rowells, 23, was so focused on playing video games, police say, that he lost track of time and let his two toddlers wander in a motel for several hours Sunday night.

The children were spotted outside their room, police were called. There was no parent or guardian in sight, so the room was searched. Police found trash scattered and piles of vomit, but there was nothing for the children to eat or drink. » Full article here

Dude urinates on 3-year-old boy.

A man in Clermont is charged with child abuse for allegedly urinating on a 3-year-old boy.

Investigators said Aaron Hunter abused the child during a fight with the boy's mother. Hunter was hurt during the disturbance. Police said the child's mother punched Hunter to defend herself and her son. Investigators said Hunter admitted being drunk and confessed to the abuse. » Article here

[gasp] Girl gets attacked by chair during lunch.

Dude locks his newly-wed wife in dog cage.

A man is accused of handcuffing his wife inside a dog cage days after they were married in Las Vegas.

28-year-old Matthew George also fired gunshots inside the home. His wife, Mary Swihart, was not injured. "He had her handcuffed inside of the cage, would hold her against her will inside the cage for two to four hours at a time, release her from the cage, re-handcuff her outside the cage, let two dogs inside the cage and crate the dogs," said Canton police Lt. Jim Cole.

Neighbors said George and Swihart fought often, yelling obscenities at all hours of the day and night, many times outside in the driveway. Police said that on Saturday, George fired gunshots both into the floor and at Swihart after four days of mistreating her.

"At some point in time, she convinced him to un-handcuff her so she could use the restroom. At that time, she chose to run out of the house, she began screaming," said Cole. "We believe he fired one more round from his handgun into her direction. There were shell casings all over the house." » Full article here

[gross] Tree man hopes to marry after 4lb of warts removed

The 'The Tree Man of Java’ is hoping to get married after doctors performed four major operations to hack away the bark-like tissue sprouting from his hands and feet.
For 20 years Dede Koswara lived covered in warts with huge tree-like growths encasing his limbs. Today Dede, whose plight was highlighted on the Telegraph website, can once more use his hands and walk without pain.

He can see the outline of his toes for the first time in over a decade after medics cut more than 4lbs of warty horns from his legs and feet. » Full article here

Dude known as 'Naked Tickler' put in prison.

A 50-year-old man, known for terrorizing women in their homes, has been sentenced to prison.

Thomas Blacine, who police call the "Naked Tickler," was sentenced to 25 years in prison. Blacine was arrested in October for breaking into several women's houses while naked and fondling them while they slept. In one case, he videotaped himself urinating in a jug of milk. » Article here

Woman fakes injury to claim compensation by getting boyfriend to jump on her leg and break it. Fark: caught when police find the footage on his phone

A man who broke his girlfriend's leg at her own request, and had it filmed on a mobile phone, in a bid to sue Plymouth City Council has been jailed for three years.

Gordon Thomson, 32, jumped two footed onto Elizabeth Hingston's leg, which was propped up on house bricks as she lay on the floor, a court heard. A friend filmed the whole sickening incident on a mobile phone - a 20-second film which was watched in court.

David Gittins, prosecuting, said that the pair had claimed that the injury had been caused by her garden wall falling on Miss Hingston, 27, at his council home. » Full article here

Dude crashes memorial service, gropes dead woman's sister

A man was arrested after police said he crashed a memorial service, grabbed the breast of the deceased woman's sister and showed her mother pornographic pictures.

Marlos Hernandez, 31, faces possible charges of unlawful sexual contact, first-degree burglary and harassment after police said he entered a memorial gathering in another unit of his apartment building that had started Wednesday evening and extended past midnight. » Full article here

29-year-old dude wanted to have sex with 5-year-old

Lawyers for Matthew Bastian say he suffers from low self-esteem and was abusing marijuana and alcohol daily when he began his online chats with the undercover officer posing as the mom of a 5-year-old. The guy got ten years in jail. » Full article here

Girl who left fetus in airplane trash probably won't be charged

The 14-year-old girl told police she didn't know she was pregnant. "We are dealing with a scared child at this point," says a cop. She delivered a stillborn fetus in a plane bathroom while returning from a school field trip. » Full article here

Maggot finds stowaway... in a woman's head.

Dude who killed church-goers had 500,000 porn images

Reports on Matthew Murray also detail how he became especially cynical toward his religion and Christian upbringing after New Life Church pastor Ted Haggard was accused of having sex with a male prostitute. » Full article here

Dude leaves note, 'I was wondering if you could help me with my panty fetish'

Police are looking for a man with a "fetish for panties” who may be responsible for a sexual assault.

Since March 3, police have taken two reports from women. On March 6, a 19-year-old woman told police she found a note on her car in the parking lot. The note said the woman would be paid $20 if she would leave a pair of soiled panties by a trash bin at the complex, Troutman said. The note read in part, "I was wondering if you could help me with my panty fetish ...” Troutman said.

The incident was similar to a March 3 case, which was reported by a 44-year-old woman. She told police someone knocked on her apartment door. When she opened it, she found a pornographic picture from a magazine, a pair of panties hanging on the doorknob and another pair lying on the ground.

The same woman said a man approached her in the laundry room in January and asked her if she would model her panties for him. She also reported a man peeping into her apartment window Feb. 20. » Full article here

Dude beats wife because house was not cleaned properly

A man is accused of beating his wife because she didn't clean the house properly.

Marion County deputies arrested Robert Lambert on Friday. When they arrived at the couple's home in northeast Marion County they said the woman had been severely beaten. The victim said her husband has also threatened to kill her in the past. Lambert was charged with felony battery. » Article here

Dude stabs someone over a 6-pack of beer

A man was in jail Friday morning accused of stabbing another man in the back three times over a pack of beer.

Deputies said the suspect asked for the victim's newly bought beer cans. When the victim refused, the suspect knocked him to the ground and started stabbing him in the back. The victim is in serious condition at Orlando Regional Medical Center. » Article here