Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Cell phone holder?

Losing your virginity, the second time around?

When Jeanette Yarborough decided to give her husband a gift for their seventeenth wedding anniversary she wanted it to be special. Really special. She decided that conventional treats such as Mediterranean cruises, gold watches, cars, a murder-mystery weekend, or even a boob job just weren’t going to cut it. She gave him something much more personal — and painful. Her virginity.

Well, sort of. Mrs Yarborough paid $5,000 to a cosmetic surgeon to stitch her hymen back together so she could “lose her virginity” all over again and her husband would have that thrilling conquest at the grand age of 40. It's called a hymenoplasty — to repair the fragments of skin forming the traditional “gateway” to the vagina, years after originally losing it.

He did, and after that very expensive moment the ecstatic couple spent a passionate Valentine’s weekend last year having the kind of sex that they had almost forgotten about. Now they are busy telling family, friends and strangers that it is the best money they ever spent and everyone should do it. Click here to read the full article.

50 Cent and Queen album, Q-Unit

Q-Unit is a mashup album combining 50-Cent and Queen (for the music illiterate- this mashup means a DJ combined original 50 Cent songs and mixed them with original Queen songs. In no way did 50 Cent and Queen ever collaborate). Tracks from the album feature "This is How We Bite the Dust," "Bohemian Wanksta" and "We Will Rock You in Da Club." This album is strictly underground and not for sale in stores. Pretty cool, not amazing- but pretty cool. However, you can download the entire album here.

The amazing story of Jason McElwain

You must watch this if you haven't already. It is about the amazing story of Jason McElwain. Jason is autistic, and for years he helped coach his high school basketball team. The last game of the season, the coach let him play. A must watch. Click here to watch the video.
(click image to watch video)

What not to do with a Porsche GT:

Semi-truck full of beer vanishes? WTF?

A semi trailer loaded with Miller beer has disappeared from a trucking company in Washington County.
A load with more than 22,000 cans and bottles of Genuine Draft, MGD and Miller Lite worth more than $25,000 has vanished from Millis Transfer in Richfield.

The beer was dropped off February 17 for delivery to a beer distributor in Menomonie. During an inventory check later that day, the trailer was discovered missing.

The company spent the next few days determining whether one of their drivers had picked up the wrong load. But, that wasn't the case, so the company called the sheriff's department.

The trailer was found earlier this week at an Oak Creek trucking firm -- minus the beer.

You know right now, somewhere in Wisconsin- somebody is holding the biggest and best beer party of all-time. Awesome. Article here.

Lip syncing never gets old...

Two girls, Pomme and Kelly, got a hold of a web cam- then decided to make some funny lip syncing videos. Simple as that.

The result is actually some pretty funny stuff.
There is no way to watch this and not atleast chuckle at their shenanigans (give it a chance at first, watch it atleast halfway through). Great stuff. FYI, Pomme and Kelly are both 15-years-old, and are from the Netherlands. Click here to watch their lip-sync videos.

A patriotic tattoo...

Guy looses wedding ring to crocodile?

Pieter Abrahamse has an original excuse for a lost wedding ring: a crocodile ate it, along with the arm it was attached to.

"He took my wedding ring, I suppose he ate it up," Abrahamse told Reuters by telephone from his hospital Monday as he recounted his life-or-death struggle with a man-eating reptile.

The 47-year-old farm manager had the lower part of his left arm torn off in the attack last Thursday on a citrus plantation in South Africa's northern Limpopo province.

"I took my horse for an evening swim in one of the farm dams. There are lots of crocs and hippos in the area but they move around all the time, from dam to dam and into the river and out again."

He was standing belly-deep in water about 5 metres from the shore when he felt a biting jolt in his left hip. He said thought it was a hippo but quickly realized it was a crocodile.

"I started to fight immediately. So I hit him with my left arm and then he went for my left forearm," Abrahamse said. "It pulled me under the water for a few seconds and I knew this was his biggest advantage. I realized if I didn't stand up my wife will never find me again," he said.

Somehow, he managed to stumble to his feet and then he felt the crocodile lose its grip. ”What I didn't realize at the time was that it had let go because it had taken part of my left arm off," he said. With his right arm, Abrahamse then grabbed the rope of his horse, which fortunately for him chose that moment to take flight, dragging him to safety.

Abrahamse then walked 650+ feet to his house and his wife drove him 40 miles to the nearest hospital.

"I'm lucky, I didn't lose too much blood... The biggest problem with a croc bite is it can be septic. They never brush their teeth," said Abrahamse. And when he gets out of the hospital does he plan to look for the culprit? "Oh yes, I'll be looking for him alright," he said with a laugh.

My favorite quotes from this story: “What I didn't realize at the time was that it had let go because it had taken part of my left arm off.” Uhhhhh- he didn’t know part of his arm was off? Holy shit, this guy's a bad-ass. Another good quote: “The biggest problem with a croc bite is it can be septic. They never brush their teeth.” Somehow, I don’t think first thing that comes to mind is anything remotely close to what the hygiene of a crocodile is when being attacked. Article here.

Isn't it ironic?

Pamela Anderson gets torn-apart, again

Earlier this year, I watched the Pamela Anderson Roast on Comedy Central and thought it was hilariously fantastically awesome. Recently, while at my local Blockbuster Video, I managed to grab the DVD copy on pure impulse (because of a free coupon). That night, I was pleasantly reminded of just how funny this roast actually is. This is the best comedy roast of anyone hands-down. Period.
Compared to the ‘network’ version, the DVD is much better since nothing was edited or censored at all. The obvious difference when first watching the DVD version, is that you can totally see Pamela Anderson’s ‘cash and prizes’ the entire DVD. I mean totally. She’s like naked. Really naked. Honestly, she should of just showed up topless. It really would be about the same. OK, enough about that. Anyways, the comedy roast features; Courtney Love acting like Tom Cruise on acid; Andy Dick fondling Anderson's assets; and Lisa Lampanelli, the ‘Queen of Mean’, unleashing a verbal assault that fired-up the crowd to a standing ovation. There is some cool backstage footage as well. Honestly you just need to watch this. Check out the trailer for the program here.

How do I feel about this DVD? Well, in one sentence: This roast is tasteless, lewd, crude, and absolutely hilarious. Click here to purchase the DVD.

Boxing is rough on your eyes...

Overheard on the streets of New York:

Suit #1: So, they fired everyone in your department, but they offered you to stick around for two months and help them with the transition period?
Suit #2: Yeah, they said that there was a very good chance they would keep me on a permanent basis if everything went well.
Suit #1: And you said...
Suit #2: I told them to go fuck themselves. I mean, you can't come into my house, rape my mother, and then expect me to go out drinking with you.

-3 train

Girl: Why don't you just make a list of things I need to change about myself so I can be more like you?
Guy: Okay, let's start with your tooth brushing. How about rinsing off the toothbrush before you put it back into the cabinet so there is not old toothpaste and spit dripping off of it? And how about rinsing after you brush?
Girl: Anything else?
Guy: No, I think that's the only thing you need to change about yourself.

-88th & Amsterdam

Real street name contest winners...

Spiderman is going to be black

Spider Man 3, which will be released in 2007, has been the talk of many and many rumors.

Everybody has been talking about who the bad guys are. There are only going to be two villains, the Sandman (Thomas Hayden Church) and Venom(Topher Grace).

Some information has leaked that James Franco won't turn to a bad guy until Spiderman 4. In Spiderman 3 he is actually going to help out Spiderman defeat the villains, possibly saving his life.

The biggest news? Spiderman will wear a black costume in Spiderman 3. Cool huh? Don't get too excited- it's just a spandex.
[via Darkhat]

Brazil really sucks at the bobsled

The nutty Brazilian team, in a sled dubbed "the Frozen Banana", delivered one of the most bizarre and inept performances of the Games, crashing twice in spectacular style.

The most embarrassing incident occurred on their fourth and final run, when the sled overturned and slid upside-down and out of control along much of the course.

After crossing the finish line, the runaway sled slid backwards on to the track with the sledders still trapped inside as officials scrambled to rescue them. Brazil finished last of 25 starters.

The Brazilians were competing after Australia's appeal to the Court of Arbitration for Sport to have them kicked out failed.

Australia had argued Brazil should be excluded after team member Armando dos Santos was sent home for doping.

Yesterday's accident mirrored the Brazilian's efforts a day earlier when they crashed on the first of their high-speed trips down the mountain.

Team member Marcio Silva said the team had braced themselves for the latest crash. "We talked about it and decided to just hold on tight so we didn't hurt ourselves," he said.

In an echo of the movie Cool Runnings, based on the Jamaican bobsled team, the crowd cheered as the men, with torn speed suits and damaged helmets, extricated themselves from the sled.

The Brazilians are hoping to follow in the Jamaican team's footsteps with a movie of their own. "We knew there was no chance of a medal. It's all about gaining experience and proving we can do it," said team member Ricardo Raschini.

Nice work guys. Article here.

Just a few to many magnets?

Vote for the best bathroom in America...

Yep, it's your favorite time of the year. It is now time for the Toilet Bowl. Ha-huh, get it? (damn that was stupid) A bathroom supply company sponsoring an online poll aimed at finding America's best bathroom has narrowed the field to five sparkling-clean, sweet-smelling potties.

Started in 2001 to spotlight businesses that maintain "exceptional hygiene, with style" in their potties, anyone can vote online to pick the winner.

Click here to view the various shitters on the ballot and then vote for one.