Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Teamwork

Dude shoots "it" into girls shoe? WTF?

University police said they are looking for a man who is a possible suspect in connection with masturbating into a sleeping woman's shoe in Langsam Library.

According to a police report, "an unknown person aroused himself sexually, leaving his semen on the complaintant's shoes without her permission in a public area that was likely to be viewed by others."

Melissa Norris, the director of Library Communication, said Wednesday that the staff took action as soon as they found out about the offense. "We immediately called UC police and that is what occurred," Norris said.

A man who is not a UC student is a possible suspect. The individual is wanted on five outstanding warrants, three of them at the university for offenses such as theft and criminal trespassing.

The man, who there is very little information on, is now a possible suspect for public indecency in connection with last Thursday's alleged sexual offense, according to police.


Patterson said they have a sample of what she called a "liquidy substance" from the shoe at a laboratory waiting to see if the DNA matches with anyone already in the criminal system. Article here.

Innocent incest kiss from the Olson Twins?

American Idol: Chris Daughtry Conspiracy

MSNBC is reporting that American Idol fans are going crazy, claiming that Chris Daughtry being sent home is a conspiracy. At least one online petition, with more than 16,000 names attached, is calling for a recount of the American Idol votes.

Thousands of fans who dialed the first of Daughtry's two phone numbers were greeted by a recorded message from "Idol" singer Katharine McPhee, thanking the caller for voting for her.
One fan who wrote to MSNBC.com said: "They had another voting mess-up. When I called to vote for Chris, Katharine says Thanks for voting for me. I thought I dialed the wrong number, so I tried again to hear Katharine, again. People were trying to vote for Chris...not Katharine! That's why Chris went home......GRRRR...REDO please!

I don't know what American Idol is trying to pull here, but I'm not surprised...corporate America, via. Man I feel bad for the guy. But, don't worry, he'll still get a record deal.

Darth Vader calls the Emperor...

Dude puts cigarette in paint thinner = fire

A man taking a break from painting burned down his house after trying to snuff out a cigarette in a bowl of paint thinner.

Stevie Spencer had put the bowl on his coffee table before taking a smoke break about 10 p.m. Saturday. "I forgot paint thinner was in the bowl," Spencer said. "I thought it was water."

The fire from the paint thinner ignited some papers, Spencer said. He got his wife out of the house, then tried to extinguish the flames with a hose. Spencer suffered minor injuries.

Fire Chief Jay Flynn said the house was too far gone to save it when firefighters arrived. Article here.

Don't look back, he's still after you dude

Maxim rates the Hot 100 girls for 2006

Eva Longoria tops Maxim's seventh annual "Hot 100" list of the most successful women in film, television, music, sports and fashion for the second year in a row.
Maxim said it's the first time the magazine has bestowed the No. 1 honor back-to-back. Editors made the selections for the issue, which will be on newsstands Thursday.

Here is the top 10 from the full list of Hot 100:
1.)Eva Longoria
2.)Jessica Alba
3.)Lindsay Lohan
4.)Angelina Jolie
5.)Stacy Keibler ("Dancing With the Stars")
6.)Scarlett Johansson
7.)Cameron Diaz
8.)Kate Bosworth
9.)Keira Knightley
10.)Christina Milian

The magazine said all of the women on the list have several things in common- including "a tremendous amount of buzz surrounding them, undeniable beauty and a promise of greater things to come."

Also on the list are Longoria's "Desperate" co-stars Nicollette Sheridan (No. 48) and Teri Hatcher (No. 73). Article here.

Barry Bonds, Pirates vs. San Francisco

Bear eats monkey in front of zoo visitors

Bears killed and ate a monkey in a Dutch zoo in front of horrified visitors, witnesses and the zoo said Monday.

In the incident Sunday at the Beekse Bergen Safari Park, several Sloth bears chased the Barbary macaque into an electric fence, where it was stunned. It recovered and fled onto a wooden structure, where one bear pursued and mauled it to death.

The park confirmed the killing in a statement, saying: "In an area where Sloth bears, great apes and Barbary macaques have coexisted peacefully for a long time, the harmony was temporarily disturbed during opening hours on Sunday."
"Of course the habitats here in the safari park are arranged in such a way that one animal almost never kills another, but they are and remain wild animals," it said.

Witness Marco Berelds posted a detailed report on the incident, including photos, on a Dutch Web site. He said one Sloth bear tried unsuccessfully to shake the monkey loose after it took refuge on the structure, built of crossing horizontal and vertical poles.

Ignoring attempts by keepers to distract it, the bear climbed onto a horizontal pole, and, standing stretched on two legs, "used its sharp canines to pull the macaque, which was shrieking and resisting, from its perch."

The bear then brought the animal to a concrete den, where three bears ate it. The zoo said it "usually wasn't possible" for keepers to intervene when an animal killed another.

The park plans now to move the Barbary macaques — which are large monkeys but often inaccurately called "Barbary Apes" — to another part of the park, it said.


Probably made for an interesting day at the zoo for the kids. Article here. Click here to see more about this (hope you can read this language).

Clever jump-rope advertisement...

Britney Spears is trying to kill her baby

Britney Spears is a moron. No really. Why? This recent picture shows her driving around with her baby… aaannndd there are several things wrong with what she’s doing (as told by comments Jet Tredmont):

1. Kid is improperly strapped in. I'm not sure where the shoulder straps are, but it looks like the leg part of the harness is buckled. Still, there's no way the shoulder straps are over his shoulder. Kids always slump when they sleep (even when they're 2-3 years old instead of infants), but a properly-adjusted, or even halfway-properly-adjusted shoulder strap will keep their forehead well away from their knee. Quite likely the shoulder straps are tucked under his armpits. Nice recipe for broken ribs and a punctured lung.

2. Car seat facing wrong way. Now, I'll give Britney the benefit of the doubt and assume that she had her nanny buy and install the car seat and the huge stickers telling her that the car seat needs to be installed the other way. But, still. At least, you won't have to worry about the rib breakage and lung punctures in a mid-speed collision, as the baby's head will just snap off and smash against the dashboard instead.

3. Convertible. This is really bad at a few levels, so here I'll just hit the most obvious one: minimal crash protection. While Britney may enjoy doing a Jane Mansfield impression, the kid's not making that conscious choice. In any roll-over that kid is done for. In any collision with a larger vehicle, the kid is likely to find himself in the "crumple zone".

4. Convertible with the top down. Ever hear of sunburn? But that's not the worst part here. Little kids CAN NOT BREATHE when the wind reaches above around 20mph! Their lungs are not strong enough to compete with Bernoulli forces. You know how fast the wind blows when you're zipping down the freeway going 80? A might bit more than 20mph, I can tell you that much even without getting out my slide rule! I know, Britney survived just fine after a few minutes' oxygen deprivation, and fashionably stupid is all the rage these days. But I think the kid deserves better.

5. Optimally placed collision-projectiles. Water bottles make a funny bonking sound when I tap them gently on my forehead. Ramming one into a kid's soft spot at 20mph is not so funny.

While this users personal comments might not ‘check-out’ scientifically, I found them an interesting read. Read how to properly use a child saftey seat here.

He almost made it to work…

Maid cuts off man's penis, reattached?

Surgeons have reattached the penis of a Saudi man who paid the price for trying to have sex with his Filipina maid and she attacked him with a knife.

"This is a sophisticated operation. You are dealing with an organ in a difficult area and you want to try to return to its efficiency," said a spokesman at Riyadh's Takhassusi Hospital.

Earlier this month newspapers reported that the maid removed her employer's manhood when he tried to molest her in the middle of the night as his wife was sleeping. The maid is now in police custody.

"It's one of the rare cases ... but they did it (the operation) last week and it went smoothly," the spokesman said. "The hospital has done this kind of operation before, but only after people had car accidents."


Ouch! Article here.

Excuse me sir, you gotta light?

People in Ireland are the worlds loneliest

According to Google, Ireland's inhabitants are the loneliest web users.

Google Trends, which works out how many searches have been done via the Internet search engine on particular terms, showed the word "lonely" was entered most frequently by Internet users in Ireland: http://www.google.com/trends?q=lonely.
The Irish, enjoying new-found wealth and a flood of immigration following more than a century of economic decline, are followed in the misery stakes by residents of Singapore and New Zealand -- although Singaporeans are the most frequent searchers of "happiness."

Google Trends calculates the ratio of searches for a given term coming from each city, region or language divided by total Google searches coming from the same area.

Ireland's capital, Dublin, topped the city list for "lonely" searches, followed by Melbourne, Australia and Auckland, New Zealand.

In 2004, the Economist magazine named Ireland the best place to live in the world in a "quality of life" assessment. Article here.

Have you been Hasselhoffed?

Click on the image to see more about "Hasselhoffed".

Dude beats up suspected shoplifter

An Orange County supermarket owner said he was just trying to protect his property from a shoplifter. Now he has been charged with battery.

On Saturday, investigators said, Jimmy Pena and six other men chased a man from the Bravo Supermarket on Curry Ford Road and beat him up.

Pena claims the man and two others were trying to steal beer. The victim said he is innocent.

That sucks, guess it’s not like the movies. Article here.