Thursday, May 11, 2006


Grandma fights alligator with garden hose?

An elderly woman, who was bitten by an alligator while working in her backyard, beat back the reptile with a garden hose.

Constance Gittles, 74, of south Punta Gorda was watering plants Tuesday when a nearly 6-foot-long alligator bit her leg just above the ankle.

"I just whacked him right in the snout with the nozzle," she said. "After that, he took off," Gittles told the News-Press of Fort Myers.

Gittles received three puncture wounds and some smaller scrapes and abrasions from her confrontation with the alligator.

A trapper working with wildlife officials later caught the animal in a nearby pond. It will be killed and the hide and meat sold.

Damn Grandma, nice work. Article here.

Damn, this is just a chalk drawing.

Britney Spears is getting a divorce?

According to reports, Britney Spears may be planning a little surprise divorce party for K-Fed. Spears and her family (minus K-Fed) met with a lawyer and divorce was mentioned. A source says:

"Brit's been very unhappy, and I think she needs to find some peace. Once the Spears family gets its game plan together, the idea is to spring a divorce on Kev without warning."
Is anyone really surprised? Britney has a ruined career, a gold-digging husband, and her looks are less than 'up-to-par' for a celebrity. This might be her smartest move in years. Girls, be on the look out, K-douche's gonna be on the market soon.

This thing would be awesome for the lake:

This product, the "Water Mat" is a closed-cell foam mat that lets you do anything you want on top of water. There is nothing to inflate and nothing to pump- you just roll it out. One side is carpeted to ensure stability and traction. The other side is slippery for sliding fun.

The only down side about this cool product... it costs = $600. Click here to buy one.

Teens put laxative in teachers tea

Two students were charged with insult or abuse to a teacher after allegedly putting a laxative in tea that two teachers drank before the prank was uncovered.

Harry Lee Keek and Bradley William Parham, both 18, were cited with a misdemeanor count, police said Monday. The two face a hearing May 16 in Hot Springs District Court; two others also could be charged.

The Lakeside High School seniors are accused of tampering with the tea as a prank. Two teachers drank the tea and suffered from cramps afterward.

Police Cpl. Chris Chapmond said Monday that the charge is punishable by a fine ranging from $100 to $1,500 in addition to any disciplinary action taken by school officials. Article here.

One damn good looking car

Newlywed watches crash kill her husband

A new wife trailing her husband's motorcycle as they returned from a weekend celebrating their marriage watched as he was killed Monday in a collision in Newaygo County.

Michael Pokora, 42, died when a car crossed the center line and struck him, police said. It also caused his wife, Deb Pokora, to lose control of her motorcycle, said John Pokora, the victim's father.

Deb Pokora had minor injuries, and now is dealing with the trauma of losing her husband of two days. The couple married Saturday and spent the weekend at a White Cloud bed and breakfast.

"She was slightly behind him and saw the car cross into their lane, and there wasn't time for Mike to really do anything," John Pokora said. " ... We don't really know what happened, why he drove that way.

Both swerved and were thrown from their bikes, police said.

Michael Pokora was a 20-year Navy veteran, retiring in 2002 as a senior chief petty officer. He entered the service after high school and worked in nuclear electronics, his father said.

In addition to his wife, Pokora is survived by three teenagers from a previous marriage. Two are students at Comstock Park High School.
Funeral arrangements were pending.

This is really tragic. Article here.

This takes skill to sleep like this

Two guys park car in front of train track?

Two maniacs waited in a car on a level crossing until a train smashed into it — just for the thrill.

The Vauxhall Vectra was hurled to the side of the track but miraculously the two idiots climbed out of the mangled wreckage unharmed.

They then jumped into a waiting BMW and sped off as the train driver and his passengers looked on in amazement. No one on the train was hurt.

The crash, on a quiet stretch of countryside track, caused only minor damage to the Northern Rail train, which was travelling at about 20 MPH.

But cops say there is a strong possibility the stunt was an extreme form of a playing “chicken” — and the outcome could have been disastrous. Article here.

To me, this is just disturbing

Girls make cookies w/Ex-Lax for teacher

Authorities in Maine charged Julie Hunt, 43, of New Portland with helping to spike the cookies for her daughter's teacher with Ex-Lax (laxative). Police said Hunt's daughter and two other teenage girls baked the cookies using an entire box of the laxative.

The goodies were left on the teacher's desk April 10 with a note saying, "We made these cookies just for you, hope you enjoy them."
Hunt was arrested Friday after an investigation into the prank that sickened four seventh- and eighth-grade children at Carrabec Community School..

A police affidavit filed in court indicates Hunt told three girls how to crush the laxative pills and mix them in with the cookie batter.

School Principal Mary Adley called police after hearing two girls talking about the incident. The three girls were suspended but do not face criminal charges. Hunt has pleaded not guilty to a charge of misdemeanor assault. Article here.

Mr. President

This dude has been in college for 12 years

Lechner, a 29-year-old with spiky blonde hair, has been an undergraduate at Wisconsin-Whitewater for 12 years. Count them, 12.
As Lechner tells it, he never intended to be a senior for nine years. Although his status as a perpetual senior has made him a darling of the national media (He has been covered by the The New York Times, "Good Morning America," the "Late Show with David Letterman" and CNN), it has also made him a major annoyance on campus. Many of his classmates and professors view Lechner as an embarrassment and are eager to see him leave.

Turns out, that's not going to happen, at least not this year. On Monday, Lechner withdrew his application for graduation a mere five days before the ceremony. He told the Journal Sentinel he planned to stay at UW-Whitewater one more year.
When the Waukesha native entered UW-Whitewater as a freshman in 1994, he thought he'd be gone in four years like most of his classmates. But the availability of young women, parties and other campus activities proved difficult to give up. Before he knew it, a decade had passed.

Lechner, who looks like the star of a WB soap opera, estimates he has had over 100 "relationships" since his freshman year. His bedroom wall is covered with photos of fraternity parties, Halloween celebrations and spring break romps.

UW-Whitewater's student newspaper, The Royal Purple, has been doing stories about Lechner for several years that have been picked up by campus publications across the country. Lechner has helped spread the word about his boisterous campus lifestyle on a Web site,
But it wasn't until he appeared on the "Late Show," "Good Morning America" and in a profile on the front page of The New York Times that Lechner began to feel like a true celebrity.

Monster Energy Drink began delivering cases to Lechner's house after he agreed to make it the official drink of his 12th year. Hollywood types began expressing an interest in a TV show based on his life. And people in Whitewater started to know who he was.

"It's bizarre," Lechner said. "I have 18-, 19- and 20-year-old girls throwing themselves at me in bars." It's not just the girls either. Grocery store clerks recognize his name. He has a following of older male students on campus who seek to emulate him.

Lechner said this spring that he planned to use his graduation as an opportunity to finish writing the TV show based on his life.

You know, you always wonder- what if was to just stay in college… what if. And this guy really did it. A real life Van Wilder. Awesome. Just awesome. This is what dreams are made of. I'm still confused on how you can even mathematically stretch college out to be this long. Oh, also notice in the pictures above, he's wearing a "College" shirt that is misspelled- freakin sweet. Article here.

Pictures of a real-life Flintstones house:

9-year-old boy makes a hole-in-one!?

A 9-year-old boy celebrated what some golfers can only dream of, making a hole-in-one during his first round this season.

Porter Brown, who began golfing last year, went to The Gully Golf Course in Midland County with his father and younger brother Monday morning and recorded the ace on the 125-yard sixth hole.

"We were high-fiving each other, jumping around and screaming," Brown's father, Jay, told the Midland Daily News for a story published Wednesday. "We were really proud of the whole situation. It's really nice to have the boys out on the course this year."

The father and brother were the only witnesses, but course officials don't doubt it happened. The course plans to present Porter, who shot a 42 on the nine-hole, par-3 course, with a hole-in-one trophy in honor of his accomplishment.

Jerry Clark said someone makes a hole-in-one at the course about three times per year. The course, about 10 miles northwest of Midland, is seven years old. Article here.