Tuesday, May 30, 2006

…of course he’s parked in handicap

Drunk naked dude wrecks, fire hydrant

What first started as out as a car accident ended with the chase of a naked man acting crazy. Police say 21-year-old Joshua Orcutt crashed his car into a fire hydrant on Walsingham Road near Indian Rocks Road in Largo. Orcutt broke a water main flooding the area. The area was closed for several hours until the roadway was cleared up. Police say Orcutt then jumped out of his car, naked, and tried to run through plate glass windows. Witnesses say the whole incident was bizarre.
Jeff Conaway, a witness to the accident, said, “I went up to the car, the gentleman was smashing through the glass with his fist. He was bleeding up his right arm and I went to go help him and he just ripped the door open and ran out naked across the street and tried to hit another car with his fist. He jumped at it. He dove at it. Then he kept running at it across the street.”

Police say they believe Orcutt was under the influence of illegal drugs. He was eventually subdued and flown to Bayfront Medical Center. Article here.

She's totally sucking face with the sphinx

Drunk dude runs naked & breaks windows

A man was arrested after he allegedly flew into a drunken rage, stripped to his socks and skivvies, yelled at passing cars and began smashing windows in a Stream Road garage door.

Matt Powers, 33, of Monroe, who cut himself while breaking the windows, was arrested by Deputy Ben Seekins of the Waldo County Sheriff's Department outside the Stream Road home at 4:15 p.m.

Seekins said Powers was unable to explain the reason for his outburst. "He was very intoxicated," Seekins said Sunday.

Powers was charged with criminal trespass, criminal mischief and public indecency and taken to the Waldo County Jail. He was released on $200 bail Sunday morning.

Seekins said the incident began around 4 p.m. when a neighbor told the county dispatch center that a naked man was on the road, yelling and challenging passing cars.

"He had a cut hand and some lacerations to his arms," Seekins said. "When I first got there, I doctored him up because he just had a lot of blood dripping from his right hand. Then I arrested him."

Powers was taken to Waldo County General Hospital where his wound was treated. He was then booked at the Waldo County Jail. A friend came by later to gather his clothes, said Seekins.

"When I got there, all he had on was his underwear and socks," Seekins said. "He was very intoxicated. He didn't realize what he was doing or even that he cut himself as badly as he did."

Wow. Probably made for a great, "This one time I got really drunk and..." story. Article here.

#5 on the list of things to do when bored

Angelina Gives birth to "Shiloh Nouvel"

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have welcomed a baby girl, Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, into the world. The child was born on the night of May 27, in the African country of Namibia.
The gave a statment to people magazine saying: "Angie and baby are fantastic." Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have named their new baby daughter Shiloh Nouvel — which means “New Messiah”. Shiloh is the Hebrew word for Messiah, or “Peaceful One”, while Nouvel is French for new.

Shiloh? Like the 1997 movie in which an abused beagle runs away from its owner? Whatever. I’m just glad this debacle of events regarding Angelina’s pregnancy is over. Now the media can cover all the crazy ways in which this kid will be raised and pampered (like only drinking 24-hour-overnighted purified milk from rare cows located in eastern Australia). This will never end... it's only beginning. Heaven help us.

Random street break-dancing?

Top 10 irritating things girls do during sex

Taken from http://thecheers.org:

1. She gets mad if you change channels back to the ballgame.
(This is great for now, but Barry Bonds hits next inning!)

2. She wants to play her favorite John Tesh or Yanni CD.
(I cannot do my business…listening to those shmucks!)

3. She is always UNCOOPERATIVE in a moving car!
(Look, we’ve got cruise control, and NOBODY can see!)

4. She burns a candle, but absolutely REFUSES to videotape.
(I taped over our wedding video, but don’t hold a grudge!)

5. She always takes so, so long!
("Ooh, ooh, I want to come too!" I just hate that!)

6. She always forgets to restock the batteries!
(There’s stuff I don’t have enough energy to keep doing!)

7. She complains too much about that "SIZE" thing!
(I can’t help it if that “big feet-big hands” thing is a myth!)

8. She refuses to wear the mink handcuffs I bought her.
(No, I won’t let her put them on ME, I don’t trust her!)

9. She forgets, as usual, to bring a DAMN TOWEL!
(It’s not my fault that we…OK; it really IS MY fault!)

10. She won't ever let her girlfriend join in the fun.
(I only asked twice, now she’s gone all Oprah on me!)

Thanks for the message...

Man finds a snake inside his rental car?

Dan McBride, assistant athletic director at Eastern Kentucky University, found a two-foot-long ball python in his rental car this week as he left the Ohio Valley Conference baseball tournament in Paducah.
McBride got into his car Wednesday night with a colleague and saw the snake draped across the console.

McBride said he thought it was a rubber snake someone put there as a joke. He even gave the snake a pat and put the car into drive.

As he drove toward the exit, the snake lifted its head. McBride hit the brakes, then started to get out of the car. But the snake was on the gear shift, forcing McBride to keep his foot on the brake.

"You can't act tough when you are sitting a foot and a half away from a snake," said his colleague, Simon Gray. The snake was captured, and was being held until its owner comes to claim it, authorities said.

Uh... Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Article here. Holy shit.

Well this is a creative photo…

Car recall: 30,000 Corvettes tops fly off?

General Motors Corp. is recalling more than 30,000 Chevrolet Corvettes because of a defect that causes detachable roofs to fly off while driving.

The recall issued this past week affects certain 2005-2006 models with painted roofs. The adhesive between the roof panel and magnesium frame may separate, GM spokesman Alan Adler told The Detroit News.
The Corvette's hard top weighs between five and 10 pounds. If there is a complete separation, the roof panel may detach from the vehicle and it could strike another vehicle.

"You do not want to hit a 10-pound object at 70 miles per hour," Adler said. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has received 21 complaints from owners of the sports car. No one has been injured or killed as a result of the glitch, Adler said.

Uhhhh... the top just randomly flies off? Too funny. Article here.

The stare-off, I wonder who will win?

Guy threw kids off balcony in front of wife

A vacationing doctor tossed his 4- and 8-year-old sons off a 15th-floor balcony of their Miami Beach hotel Saturday morning and then leapt to his own death as his wife looked on.

Qinuo Van Dyk was startled by her son's scream about 8:30 a.m. Saturday and looked over to see Edward Van Dyk plunge to a 3rd-floor mezzanine, said Officer Bobby Hernandez, spokesman for the Miami Beach Police Department. She looked over the balcony and saw all three died in the fall.

"It's so horrific; it's almost unbelievable," Hernandez said.

The Van Dyks were vacationing from their home in Alton, Ill. Edward Van Dyk, a a practicing oncologist, was celebrating his 10th anniversary with his wife, a former doctor who home-schooled their children.

Hernandez said the couple had marital problems in the past six months, "but nothing that would indicate he would commit such a horrible act." Investigators scoured the three bodies for clues that could give them insight into what caused Edward Van Dyk to snap, Hernandez said. He said the medical examiner will determine an exact cause of death for each person.

Hernandez said that detectives found no evidence in the room of a struggle or alcohol or drug use. Guests in adjacent rooms said they didn't hear anything coming from the family's room until Qinuo Van Dyk started screaming. Article here.

Maybe it’s the tiny goggles, bud light, water gun, or the fact he’s sweating like mad through his shirt, but this guy totally rocks.

Fan who got Barry Bond's 715 HR ball

It's not known yet what Barry Bond's home run ball No. 715 is going to sell for but it is known that ticket stubs from yesterday's Barry Bonds record-setting home run game are being sold on eBay for as much as $105 each today.

The man who has the ball says he is going to hold on to it for now. This is a fellow who wasn't even in his seat when the home run was hit.

Reporter Henry Mulak at the ballpark notes that Barry Bonds may not have gotten a better guy to catch the ball that allowed him to move ahead of Babe Ruth on the home run tally.
"I am a Giants fan. I am a San Francisco fan and a Barry Bonds fan," said Andrew Morbitzer, 38, who just moved back to San Francisco from Colorado with his new wife. "We came today to see the Rockies and the Giants, the first one this year."

During the game he left his seat to go get some more beer. "We couldn't see who was coming up to bat and we both finished our beers and just decided it was a good time to get a beer. We didn't know he was coming up."

The computer software marketing manager caught the ball with one hand while in line in the concession stand after people in the bleachers above him bobbled the ball.

What is he going to do with it? "Hold it tightly in my hands for a little while," he said. Article here. Or read more here.

53 meter rope swing = scary close to trees

Backwards running races? WTF?

Timothy Badyna has broken world records. He ran a marathon in under four hours. He finished a 10K race in 45 minutes. Wait a minute, you say, that's not so fast. Right. But Badyna set those records running backward.

Badyna, dubbed "Backwards Bud" by fellow runners, holds the Guinness World Record for fastest backward run in a 200-meter race (32.78 seconds), set in 2001. In the early 1990s, he held the record for backward marathon (3 hours, 53 minutes) and 10K (45 minutes, 37 seconds).
Those records have since been broken. So the 39-year-old hospital nurse from St. Simon's Island isn't the only one who turns his back on traditional running. About 500 people in the United States- more in Europe- walk or run backward. Experts say it burns a fifth more calories than traditional jogging. Click here to read more regarding backwards running.

Tubby Tom jumping in ocean = tsunami

Smoking and sex go hand-in-hand...?

Australian brothel owners want an exemption to anti-smoking laws for sex workers and their clients because, they say, one thing leads to another.

Newspapers reported Sunday that the Australian Adult Entertainment Industry had written to Victoria state officials seeking an exemption to laws which ban smoking in workplaces for fear they will drive prostitutes back onto the street.

"People smoke when they drink, and people smoke when they fornicate," the industry group's William Albon was quoted as saying by Australian Associated Press. Smoking is banned in most public buildings across Australia and will be outlawed in hotels and other licensed premises in Victoria in July.

Albon said the ban would force "men, women and transgender persons" who work as prostitutes out of the state's 87 legal brothels and onto the streets, where they could potentially become targets for violence.

"Having them standing dressed in terms not conventional for the street might be a magnet for violent, anti-social behavior," he said.

Well, they've got a good point... article here.