Thursday, March 15, 2007

Here, let's take a picture of you staring at my boobs.

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Drunk dude crashes, claims 'a unicorn was driving'

The unicorn was driving. That was the story a Billings man gave police after crashing a pickup truck into a light pole.

Phillip Carston Holliday Jr., 42, was arraigned in District Court on felony charges of criminal endangerment and drunken driving. Judge Gregory Todd maintained Holliday's bond at $100,000 after being advised that the man's criminal history includes five prior DUI convictions, four felonies, 35 misdemeanors and 53 traffic violations, including 28 convictions for driving with a suspended license.

Holliday was arrested after a one-vehicle accident. Two police officers witnessed the crash, which occurred when a truck drove through a red light and nearly struck another truck in the intersection. According to court records, the driver then made an erratic U-turn through a gas station, crossed the street and crashed into a light pole. The two police officers who were nearby said the driver got out of the truck and fell down. The man got up and tried to run away, but fell again after about 30 feet. He was then arrested.

At Holliday's arraignment Tuesday, Deputy County Attorney Ingrid Rosenquist said Holliday initially denied driving the truck involved in the accident. He told officers a unicorn was driving, Rosenquist said. Article here.

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The creators of Battleship are sexist a**holes

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The girl whose hair was too big for her mugshot

Miss Clifford was stopped for erratic driving in the early hours after a night out to celebrate her birthday with friends in Memphis, Tennessee.

She had the car's sunroof open to accommodate her crowning glory. Her performance in the standard test of sobriety – walking in a straight line – was distinctly average, but police said they were not sure if it was drink or her peacock-like hairstyle that was causing her problem.
A breath test confirmed that she was over the limit and she was taken off to the cells to sober up.

Police spokesman Sergeant Vince Higgins said: "We have to take the mugshot picture as the person looks at the time of the arrest, so we needed to make sure we got all her hair in. Article here.

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The girl whose hair was too big for her mugshot

Miss Clifford was stopped for erratic driving in the early hours after a night out to celebrate her birthday with friends in Memphis, Tennessee.

She had the car's sunroof open to accommodate her crowning glory. Her performance in the standard test of sobriety – walking in a straight line – was distinctly average, but police said they were not sure if it was drink or her peacock-like hairstyle that was causing her problem.
A breath test confirmed that she was over the limit and she was taken off to the cells to sober up.

Police spokesman Sergeant Vince Higgins said: "We have to take the mugshot picture as the person looks at the time of the arrest, so we needed to make sure we got all her hair in. Article here.

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Mom and dad help daughter with her porn star career

Her mother, Shelby, decorated her glittery competition costumes, and her dad, Mike, cheered for his only child from the sidelines. Years later, they're still at it -- only now they're helping their daughter chase her dreams of becoming a porn star.
"I like to be in front of the camera," Sunny said. "I like to show my talent. I have many, many talents in a lot of different areas, and I want to show them."

Click here to watch the a full news segment video (SFW).

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I agree, the experts are f*ckin' morons

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Hard-core porn interrupts news show

A cable news program was temporarily replaced with hard-core pornography, shocking viewers who had been watching a health show featuring former NBC News anchor Tom Brokaw. The incident Monday night on KPPX-TV was "an act of human sabotage" at the Phoenix-area station, said ION Television, which operates the station.

"We have launched a rigorous investigation, and any implicated employees will face strict disciplinary action and termination," ION Media Networks spokeswoman Leslie Monreal said in a statement.

Brenda Schodt, of Chandler, said she was shocked to look up and see graphic sex acts on her television screen. "Maybe five or 10 minutes into the show there was no volume," Schodt said. "I thought it was the TV, but when I looked up, there were these images." Article here.

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LOL, 'crazy acid throwing woman' news segment

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Dude pelted by snowball, sues thrower for $4,350

A man who claims he was pelted in the head by a snowball during January's snowstorm wants the guy who allegedly threw it to pay -- $4,350 plus attorney's fees.

In the suit filed, William Elich is suing Greg Scott Ely for allegedly rocketing a snowball from the rented Hummer he was driving as he passed Elich.

Elich says he was about to enter Jake's Grill for an early lunch when Ely came by in the Hummer with a "dashboard lined with snowballs." The snowball that hit Elich broke the left lens of his glasses and bruised his eyeball, he says.

Elich said the loss of his "progressive bifocal glasses" forced him to miss work as a private investigator for eight to 10 days while he waited for a new pair of glasses. He's asking for $2,500 for loss of wages, $225 for new glasses and $1,625 for non-economic damages.

Reached by phone, Ely says Elich has the wrong guy. "I didn't throw a snowball at anyone," said Ely, adding that he chuckled at Elich's claims at first. Ely said he doesn't see how Elich thinks he could manage to fit his arm through the small window of the Hummer and throw a snowball while navigating the city's icy streets. Read the full article here.

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As twisted as it is, the guy’s look on his face is hilarious.

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Britney Spears is dating someone from her AA meetings

Britney Spears has found love at an AA meeting. His name is Jason Filyaw, and you can see his myspace page here. He is the 33-year-old, lead guitarist of a band called Riva. Sources say that she calls him constantly and her nicknames for him include: Mr. Secret Underground Guy and J-Sun.

A source said "Britney adores Jason. He's been a tower of strength for her at the lowest point in her life. She's convinced Jason can help her through rehab because, as an alcoholic, he's been through the same thing." Source.

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It's kinda clever, 'puzzle carpet'.

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420-pound women didn't know she was pregnant

Nearly 200 remarks were posted anonymously by OCRegister.com (newspaper) readers in response to a story about how 420-pound April Branum learned she was pregnant two days before giving birth to a healthy baby boy. She says "whatever," but her fiance -- the boy's father -- is upset. Click here to read the full article -- be sure to scroll down and read all the crazy ass comments.

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Las Vegas casino implosion (Stardust)

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Girl gets her hand stuck inside ATM? WTF?

A little girl was rescued from an ATM in Orange County. Her hand got stuck in the money dispenser and it took firefighters more than three hours to get her out.

The pain on the little girl's face said a lot. Unable to move, she could only stand as firefighters worked to free her from the ATM.

Crews took the ATM apart, piece by piece. In a case like this, it's slow work, because the machines aren't meant to come apart easily and the little girl's hand was wedged so far in.

More than three hours into the ordeal, the 9-year-old's hand came out from the cash slot and the relief on her face was almost instant. "It hurt a lot," Angelica Santiago said, shortly after being freed. Her hand still hurt. An ice pack helped, but her eyes still showed the hours of crying from what was supposed to be a quick trip to the store.

"She put her hand where the cash came out. The metal piece kept it from coming out," said parent William Santiago. Article here.

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