Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Dude, you're such a penis head

Teacher has students throw paper at another kid

A die-hard Steelers fan and teacher at Beaver Falls High School made Vannoy, 17, take a midterm test on the floor because he was sporting a John Elway No. 7 jersey.

The honors ethnic relations teacher had Vannoy sit in a circle of desks, then instructed his classmates to throw paper at him.

The treatment wasn't part of any classroom lesson, his teacher says. He had warned students before not to wear another team's jersey in his classroom.

"I was humiliated and shaking. I couldn't finish my test," said Vannoy, a Broncos fan even though he's a native of Pittsburgh Steelers country.

Teacher John Kelly thought he was "just messing around" with Vannoy, telling him he couldn't sit at any desk in his class Friday.

Vannoy said Kelly grabbed him by the neck of his jersey when he tried to sit in his chair and told him he would give him a zero on the exam if he didn't sit on the floor. Kelly told the 12 other students that part of their midterm was that they had to throw paper at "the stinking Denver fan" - or lose points, he added.

"Some threw the paper at me, some threw it at the ground," Vannoy said.

Kelly said he didn't threaten Vannoy's grade or grab his shirt. He said that he told students to do those things but that nobody took it seriously.

LMAO, regardless if this is true or not, this is still hilarious. The teacher of the year award goes too… Article here.

Catch of the day

Wow, Peter North has been in a lot of porn...

So I had a friend emailed me a link to Peter North’s Movieography (all the films he’s ever appeared in). FYI, Peter North has been in over 1600+ movies. All of them are porn movies (for those of you who didn’t know already). He’s also directed, produced, written porn movies as well. Here are a few of the movie titles he’s stared in (just to name a few):

Sex Trek: The Next Penetration (1990)

Jane Bond Meets the Man with the Golden Rod (1987)

Convenience Store Girls (1986)

Adventures of Tracy Dick: The Case of the Missing Stiff (1985)

Stiff Competition (1984)

White Chicks Gettin' Black Balled (2004)

Whore of the Worlds (1985)

Blondes Who Blow (1996)

Jesus Christ Superstar (1972) <-- this is for real, I’m not making this up.

Here is his mini-biography:

“For over 20 years this Canadian-born actor has been one of the most reliable performers in porn history, with youthful good looks and a body sculpted almost to perfection from long hours spent in the gym. His career began in the days when porn movies were take-offs of legit films; they had plots, dialogue, (relatively) hefty budgets and were meant to be seen in theaters. He is still going strong today, a holdover (but not a "relic") from the "good old days" in the era of straight-to-video, low-budget rush jobs with no acting, no plot, and actors and actresses covered in tattoos. Few porn actors have (or most likely ever will have) a resume as extensive as Peter's. North's enduring popularity has spanned generations of porn fans, both male and female, and even after all these years he still continues to impress and amaze both fans and co-workers with his "range".”

Does it not look like the guy's laughing... WTF?

Whatever you do, don't call for the nurse...

A Japanese nurse who tried to relieve her work stress by tearing off patients' nails was sentenced Monday to three years and eight months in prison.

The 32-year-old Japanese woman, who worked at a hospital in the ancient capital of Kyoto, tore off the fingernails and toenails of six female patients in September and October 2004. The patients were all immobile after strokes or other illnesses.

The Kyoto District Court said the woman had committed the cruel acts to relieve stress she was under from extra work forced on her by her supervisors.

This is how she relieves stress? Seriously? WTF? Article here.

Check out 'clickable-music-rain-drop' thingy:

(click image to listen to 'music rain drops')

What happens if you drink 20 cans of Red Bull?

Drivers have been warned about caffeine excess after a man was jailed for leading police on a 50-mile car chase after drinking 20 cans of Red Bull.

Peter Edwards, 48, from King's Lynn, was jailed for four months on Friday after Norwich Crown Court heard he was pursued across Cambs and Norfolk. His car was seen "swerving from side to side" across the A10, the court heard.

At one stage police drove in front of Edwards to slow him down but he simply veered out to overtake in front of a lorry. Police eventually stopped his car at Swaffham by using a stinger device to puncture his tyres.

Edwards, who was later tested and found to be free of any alcohol or drugs, admitted dangerous driving on 13 March last year.

"He had been drinking cans of Red Bull as he was ferrying members of his family to various parties during the night and had consumed the drink to stay awake," he added.

A spokeswoman for Red Bull said: "Research has proven that just one or two cans of Red Bull can help alleviate the effects of tiredness - there is no added benefit in consuming the product in excessive amounts. "One can of Red Bull contains the same amount of caffeine as a cup of filter coffee."

How did this guy's heart not explode after drinking 20 cans of Red Bull? WTF? Article here.

Sister Earnhardt feels the need, the need for speed

The most powerful magnet on earth... holy sh*t

If you really need unbelievably powerful magnets, here they are. Uses include magnetic steering of nuclear particles in accelerators, levitation devices, magnetic beam amplifiers, scrap iron separators, etc.

Beware - you must think ahead when moving these magnets. If carrying one into another room, carefully plan the route you will be taking.

Computers & monitors will be affected in an entire room. Loose metallic objects and other magnets may become airborne and fly considerable distances - and at great speed - to attach themselves to this magnet. If you get caught in between the two, you can get injured.

Two of these magnets close together can create an almost unbelievable magnetic field that can be very dangerous. Of all the unique items we offer for sale, we consider these two items the most dangerous of all.

Our normal packing & shipping personnel refuse to package these magnets - our engineers have to do it. This is no joke and we cannot stress it strongly enough - that you must be extremely careful - and know what you're doing with these magnets.

Take Note: Two of the 3" x 1" disc magnets can very easily break your arm if they get out of control. Axially Magnetized (the top & bottom faces are the north & south poles). We can only ship these magnets by ground UPS - they cannot be shipped via air as it will interfere with the aircraft's navigational equipment.

[via Attu]

The real truth about the Pyramids

Britney Spears breaks Kevin Federline's Ferrari

According to Access Hollywood Britney Spears and her brother were rescued by paparazzi on a Los Angeles freeway on Sunday evening.

A source tells Access Hollywood that paparazzi, who had been trailing Spears on a Los Angeles freeway, helped the pop star and her brother Bryan push their broken down Ferrari to the side of the road.

In a turn of events, the paparazzi then waited with Spears and her brother until authorities arrived. When they arrived, Britney and Bryan reportedly hopped into the squad car's backseat and were driven back home.

Ok, uh why did people help out the rich snobby celebrities? I guess it’s the least the paparazzi could do for making their lives a living hell. In other nobody really care news: look at the last picture of the brakes on this car: you’ll see why Kevin Federline is a complete douche bag.

Drunk woman steals cop car...and gets in trouble


This looks like it's going to hurt...

Woman tastes blood in her sundae at McDonalds

A woman filed a lawsuit claiming that a hot fudge sundae she bought for her 12-year-old son was contaminated with human blood, but the owner of a fast-food franchise says the red substance was really just strawberry syrup.

A Superior Court judge was scheduled to hear arguments Friday in a lawsuit filed by Carmen Jara against AJM Enterprises, which operates a McDonald's restaurant in Georgetown.

Her son, now 13, dug into his sundae and "recognized the taste of blood and, upon careful inspection, noted a red substance on the side of the sundae cup as well as mixed into his ice cream," the lawsuit claims.

Jara then went into the store and spoke to a manager, who confirmed that it was blood, according to the lawsuit.

The manager, Joshua Ferrell, said the employee who prepared the sundae had an injured, bleeding finger, and told Jara that he had advised the employee to keep a bandage on his finger, according to the lawsuit.

Jara, who filed a report with Georgetown police, requested that the employee, who no longer works at the restaurant, undergo a blood test to rule out any diseases, but that her request was refused.

Michael Meoli, owner of the McDonald's franchise, said the claims are unfounded, and that strawberry syrup probably had clogged the sundae machine.

Ferrell, who no longer works at the restaurant, should not have said the substance was blood, Meoli said.

"What is he, a botanist? No, he's a 21-year-old assistant manager who saw her screaming in the lobby and said 'whatever you say lady.'"

Meoli, who ran unsuccessfully for a state House seat last year, said the allegations are meant to ruin his business.

"I hope she gets the same thing the Wendy's lady got," he said, referring to a woman recently sentenced to nine years in prison for planting a severed finger in a bowl of Wendy's chili to extort money from the fast-food chain.

This is way to funny and way to gross… article here.

A bullet through a business card, by MIT student

I'm super, thanks for asking... in 'Gaywood'

The residents of Gaywood Road who are darned tired of getting their street signs nabbed by pranksters humored by the name.

The fourth custom-made green wooden sign with fancy white letters disappeared over the holidays. With new signs costing $600 a pop, neighbors aren't laughing anymore.

Right now, the close-knit neighborhood of eight households is deciding what to do next. They may just stencil the street name on two posts. "It's getting too expensive. We are kind of done with this game," said 14-year Alamo resident Anne Herzog.

It started three years ago, when the first hand-crafted sign disappeared on Christmas break and the second one on spring break. Pranksters not only filched the signs, but also pulled out the post on which they were mounted. Buschmeyer said a mail carrier found the second sign hanging out of a pickup truck with a chain attached while on his rounds.

Damn kids… they’re damn funny. Article here.