No worries

A man who bit off part of his girlfriend's face and spit it out on the sidewalk was convicted of assault.
Gareth Whyte's lawyer contended prosecutors could not prove his girlfriend was seriously injured or disfigured. But the prosecutor argued Whyte should not get a break just because the woman had a talented plastic surgeon.
"I'll agree the defendant is not guilty when he can put this back," said prosecutor Heide Mason, holding up a jar containing the girlfriend's flesh.
Whyte, 27, of New Rochelle, was found guilty Thursday and could get up to 25 years in prison when he is sentenced March 1.
During a fight last Mother's Day, he bit the left side of Dorothy Pritchett's face, through skin, nerves, fat and muscle, exposing a gaping hole below her eye, prosecutors said.
Pritchett testified that Whyte had bitten her once before, complaining that her clothes were too sexy.
WTF? Ow! This is horrible! Article here.
This auction claims it’s for a real copy of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s baby ultrasound picture. The seller claims:
“This ultrasound picture was given to a friend of mine. They sent it to me as a gift.”

Of course the first thing I thought was, is this legal? Fortunately, the seller clears any legal confusion:
Q: Doesn't this go against the HIPPA law stating that you need patient's consent to release any type of their medical documents? Will buyer get in trouble if they purchase this?
A: First of all, I think you spelled the law incorrectly, but as stated in the question before this. You are not receiving MEDICAL DOCUMENTS. When a Dr. give's you an image that you make copies of and give it out, that becomes personal property. Thanks for your question.
Q: How did your friend get this?? Isnt is illegal to sell somebodies medical records?
A: I will not comment on the friend receiving this. However I will tell you that this isn't a 'medical record'. Receiving a copy of an image is not considered a medicle record. It is considered a gift. Thanks for your question.
An 88-year-old American woman, trapped inside her car after careering off the road into a ditch, survived for five days by wiping the windscreen with a towel and sucking on the moisture, rescuers recounted on Friday.
In a recent interview with Cosmo, Eva Longoria revealed that she treats all her best gal pals to a nice big vibrator on their birthdays. She feels that all women need to learn how to pleasure themselves, and she isn't afraid to help them out:
"After I spoke openly about vibrators I literally got boxes and boxes of free sex toys sent to me. So I was constantly giving them away. Even before that I'd give them to girlfriends for their birthdays and they'd be so excited."You get better sex when you know your own body. How can you expect a man to know your body when you don't know what pleases you?"
"Probably with my vibrator," she said. "I own two. I have the rabbit one, and I give that as a gift all the time to other girls for a birthday or the like. It's the best gift to give: an orgasm."
[via IDon'tLikeYou]
A Palm Bay couple is facing battery charges after a fight over a steak. Police arrested Mario and Desiree Carfagno last Friday.
Eminem fantasized in song about killing his former wife Kim. He sports a “Kim: Rot in Pieces” tattoo on his chest. Yet he just remarried her.
Got an extra 20,000? Why not blow it on Britney Spear’s first grade year book…
For all you Wendy’s fast food lovers out there, take note. You can still get tomatoes on your sandwiches at Wendy's restaurants, but you'll have to make a special request.
So this is one eBay auction you’ll never forget:
A woman has had a six-inch drawing of the Pizza Shuttle logo tattooed onto her left forearm. She says that she wears it with pride.
She's dined there at least once a week for 20 years, "It's my favorite pizza in Milwaukee, for sure," says Leon, who is known for ordering her usual 14-inch thin crust pizza with grilled chicken, mushrooms and double garlic and a Miller Lite.
Lean says the idea for the tattoo came to her as she was sitting in Pizza Shuttle's dining room. She was looking at the sign outside and thought, "That would make a great tattoo."

Shortly after, Lean went to Brady Street's Bodyworks tattoo shop and got the $150 logo rendition permanently drawn on her arm. To show his appreciation for her support, Gold gave Lean a year's worth of free Pizza Shuttle pizza.
Are you kidding? Not only is it pathetic she eats this crap once a week… but to have it permanently engraved on your body… WTF? Article here.
San Francisco authorities struggled to explain Thursday how they concluded that an object left in a Starbucks bathroom was a bomb, when tests revealed it was nothing more than a flashlight with corroded batteries.
"This appeared, by itself, to be a bomb,'' said police spokesman Sgt. Neville Gittens. Gittens would not specify what about the device was so convincing, other than to say that all the people who saw it described it as a "tube-shaped cylinder with a fuse.''
The employee called police. Officers evacuated the store and an apartment building above it, and bomb squad officers used a high-power hose to blast the object with water.
They said a muffled noise that police heard when the water cannon hit the object, which they took to be an explosion, may have been the sound of a chemical reaction between the water and the corroded batteries.
The man who says he left the flashlight in the Starbucks, Ronald Schouten, 44, remains in custody in County Jail on unrelated matters. He told police he had found the flashlight on the street and thought it could be used for self-defense, but decided to leave it behind after using the restroom.
He was charged Thursday with burglary and is expected to be back in court today. After visiting the Starbucks, he allegedly went to a Circuit City and used the bag the coffeehouse given to him for the coffee grounds to shoplift a camera, prosecutors said.
Weird. Yet interesting. Article here.